


Unplanned Events

by RandomJaz



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: M/M, hidashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:24:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomJaz/pseuds/RandomJaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CHAPTER 10 IS THE NEW CHAPTER* (Chapters 11, 12 and 13 are place holders left from previous editing.) </p><p>Having been walked in on during a less than savory moment, Hiro is faced with having to explain himself to big brother. Hidashi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

****Note**** CHAPTER 10 IS THE NEW CHAPTER!

To those who have read this fic before, you have probably noticed that there are less chapters as well as blank chapters. Well, I went back and edited chapters, combining some and fixing up others. I did this because, unfortunately, this fic was written during the early phases of my writing and as time went on I developed a rhythm or style of writing, so to speak. This fic had potential to be better so I cleaned it up and such to fit more to my current style of writing.

I hope no one is upset over this. No scenes were taken out and only one major change was made. (I went in and made it so that what was originally many chapters stretching out of the events of one day, is not that way anymore.) I didn't want to have to delete chapter 11 and 12's reviews and comments so I left blank documents there until I can get some new chapter updates in there. Sorry for this mild chaos! I just appreciate your feedback so much, I really didn't want to delete the chapters and see the feedback go away!

Anyways, sorry for the long note. Chapters 1-9 are the original story and chapter 10 is new. I hope you guys enjoy : ) Sorry for the long wait! Also, once I get new chapters to fill chapters 11 and 12 I will take down this note so the next readers aren't confused.

xxxxxx

Tadashi always had a habit of warning me of things that came along with puberty.

Sex in particular was often a big topic when he brought it up. But even so, being a careless sixteen year old, I never gave much thought to his lectures. I really just didn't see the point. I knew what sex was. I knew how it happened. Condoms, lube, consent. Yup, we went over all of it in detail but I never thought I'd put any of it to use. That was mostly because I had no interest anyone, anyways... well that's not entirely true.

As much as I hated to acknowledge it, my attraction to my protective older brother was definitely getting out of hand. The mere fact I couldn't bring myself to have anything other than a platonic interest in anyone other male should have been alarming to me... but just like anything else puberty threw at me, I repressed it for another day.

Friday night, Aunt Cass left for her friend's house and Tadashi had gone to his lab at school hours ago to sort out some new parts Baymax needed. Having the house to myself didn't happen enough due to Tadashi usually being around, not that I really minded. Having been warned not to wait up, I wasn't expecting him home until later. Inviting a friend over didn't seem like a bad idea considering it was either that or rotting in the house alone for hours, so that's exactly what I did.

Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have been a problem to have a friend over with my family home. Problem was, the circumstances weren't to my older brother's liking. The particular friend I invited over, Ricky, wasn't someone Tadashi was very fond of. He was local bot fighter who I knew from my former fighting days. Ricky was nineteen, tall, brunette and more importantly he was notoriously known around the city as a player so to speak.

I knew he was in to guys, but never gave it much thought to be honest. He and I hung out lot, despite my brother's disapproval. If I'd had a bigger social circle I would have paid Tadashi's feelings more heed and avoided Ricky but alas, being a snarky sixteen year old genius doesn't really attract too many friends. I never had a problem with the guy, so I kept him around. It sucked having no friends, I couldn't throw Ricky away just to please my older brother's paranoia. Even if I just wanted to pleased him in any way I could, there was no way I'd get rid of the one person within my age group who dared give me any time of day.

Well, he came over and I set a movie to play in my room. It was some recent sci-fi flick that was popular down at the video store, Ricky had mentioned it some time and insisted we watch it. He sat in my office chair and I lounged on my bed next to him while we watched the TV perched on the wall of Tadashi and I's room. Completely immersed in the film, I hadn't noticed the way he gradually inched closer to me. So close, as a matter of fact. His chair was right up next to my bed.

"Hey, so when's your family getting back anyways?" Ricky asked out of the blue. "Anytime soon?"

Not really giving any thought to why he would ask me that I just shrugged, still watching the TV.

"Not sure, later on probably."

Mochi's feet could be heard thumping around downstairs as he probably jumped down from a counter or something and I briefly mistook it for the sound of actual feet. Then I could have sworn I heard the downstairs door open and shut, but knowing better I kept my attention on the movie brushing it off as my imagination playing tricks on me. That, or Aunt Cass had forgotten to close a window like she often did. Sometimes the shutters would knock around a bit from the breeze. The sound could have easily been that, but usually they knocked around a bit not just one slam.

There was no way Aunt Cass or Tadashi were home. Aunt Cass always slept at her friend's house when they went out and Tadashi almost always came home really late when going to the school. Pondering where the sound I heard came from, I didn't see Ricky get up from the chair. Next thing I know there's a shift in weight on my mattress and Ricky's crawling over me.

"Hey Hiro..."

As caught off guard as I was, there was no denying what his intentions were. He went right for me, his body over mine. Looking up at him I was met with his mischievous green eyes and breath that smelled distinctly of cigarettes. Brown brows that arched in the middle just enough to give him that 'bad boy' sass were lowered as he curled his lips.

"Let's do something a lil more interesting..." he insisted, invading my personal space further by trying to kiss me. "This movie can wait."

Not realizing exactly what he was doing until it was too late, I soon learned what cigarettes tasted like. Which was quite nasty, a bitter and smokey taste stuck in his mouth. I thought he was going to go right for my body, not instigate a full on make out session. Pressing my arms against his chest, I pushed him away. He looked at me confused and tried to kiss me again.

"Why you acting all hard to get for, Hiro?" He asked me, his hand creeping towards my thigh. "It's just me."

"What are you doing?" I questioned him, extremely confused regarding his sudden come on. "Seriously, get off me!"

"It's just a little guy time, c'mon."

Ricky was so uncaring and suave about it all. Like I was supposed to just let him come on to me and do as he pleased. Most sixteen year olds probably would have done just that be it Ricky was the one coming after them... but I had no experience with that type of shit at all. I was not eager to get felt up by some other teenager. Suddenly becoming defensive, I glared at him.

"You've got some nerve. Why would you even assume I'm in to guys?"

"Well you're never around any girls. You don't talk about them, ever. It's so obvious."

At his response I glowered but more in embarrassment than anger. Socializing was weak point for me and Ricky knew that. So him using my lack of contact with girls as an excuse to come on to me was both annoying and manipulative. At my facial expression Ricky clucked his tongue.

"I mean well. Of trust me I do..." He assured me. " Now come on, bring that little ass over here so I can take care of it."

" I really think you have the wrong idea." I corrected him, irritated. "I'm not gay."

"That's bullshit."

It hit me that Ricky was fairly confident he had me sexually pegged, which technically he did. But regardless, I had no interest in what he was instigating and wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of me admitting he was right. Ricky took my face in his hands and kissed me again, holding me against his mouth as he slipped his tongue along mine again. Taste of tobacco aside, it was actually kind of... nice. I'd never been kissed before.

Coming back to my senses I pulled away, adamant against continuing. And I wasn't about to admit that was my first kiss either. Hell no. Not to Ricky. That was all he needed, some leverage.

"Look, seriously. This isn't a good idea." I warned him "We're friends. Quit it-"

"We could be more than friends, if you'd quit pulling away. Come here, Man."

"Get off!" I told him, voice louder than I intended it to be. "I said no!"

And that's when my bedroom door opened and completely scared the wits out of me. There stood Tadashi in his oil stained wife beater, muscles bulging from his biceps and shoulders showing where his arms came out from the lack of sleeves. Backpack slung over his shoulder, pile of papers under his arm and cup of coffee held in his hand, he took in the situation. His eyes immediately widened in alarm at the scenario. The guy he didn't like, looming over his little brother in bed, that was what he walked in on. Yeah, looks pretty innocent enough, right?

No.

"Everything alright, Hiro?" he asked me cautiously, voice indicating he was a mere response away from fixing the situation. "What's going on here?"

Too shocked to reply, I stared at him dumbly. Ricky looked over his shoulder to assure Tadashi it was not at all what it looked like. But it was too late. Far too late because my older brother was already glaring down Ricky. The scene looked pretty bad.

"You need to leave. Right now."

Ricky tried to argue his case but my stunned silence told Tadashi all he needed to know.

"Out, now. Or I'm calling the cops. I bet they'd love to hear about the illegal bot fights taking place downtown where you hang out." he threatened, failing so also mention Ricky was technically hovering over a minor. "Now get off my brother and leave."

My friend promptly hauled ass out of my house without another word. I knew he wasn't mad at me, there had been a slight misunderstanding but he wasn't going to risk his ass to stick around and try to convince my brother. The front door slammed shut downstairs and Tadashi looked at me completely astounded.

"Are you kidding me, Hiro?" he asked me rhetorically. "Have you lost your common sense?"

"'Dashi it wasn't what it looked like-"

"So that punk wasn't just trying to force himself down your pants? Right." he interrupted me, completely exasperated. "Why would you hang out with him, let alone invite him in your bedroom, while no one else is here? Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"Dashi I-"

"You could have been raped had I not come in when I did. Unbelievable! You need to be more careful, Hiro." He scolded me as he set his backpack and papers down on his bed. "That guy is bad news. A nineteen year old delinquent like him as no business poking his nose around you. You're better than that"

Tadashi stared me down and I found myself shrinking under his gaze meanwhile something else was rising to attention. Tadashi angry and dressed in his dirty work clothes was quite a sight. Doing my best to subtly conceal my issue, I shifted and pulled a pillow over my lap with the intention looking to be to rest my elbows on. I didn't like being scolded, but something about my older brother pissed off was quite masculine.

"Seriously, what were you thinking?-" he rambled on, still clearly upset until I interjected.

"TADASHI!"

He paused and looked up at me shocked from my outburst. I never yelled like that. Arms crossed he quirked his head and deadpanned.

"What?" he asked, disgruntled. "This should interesting. Go ahead, give me some excuse."

"Look, he really wasn't going to rape me. You walked in on a bad moment, bro. " I assured him despite the discouraging eye roll. "I'm serious. It wasn't what it looked like. "

"You looked scared like a deer caught in headlights and you yelled at him to get off of you. I heard it loud and clear. "

"It was a misunderstanding, please trust me. He thought I was gay."

"Well are you?"

The question itself didn't surprise me as much as Tadashi's sudden interest. Noting the way his eyes widened attentively, I stared at him warily with my heart stuck in my throat. I went mute. I was not prepared for him to ask that... even though I had set myself for that technically.

"Well?" he pushed the question, still waiting. "Are you?"

"Yeah, actually... I am."

Tadashi's face wavered on shocked and for a brief moment I thought he was upset with me. Which I couldn't fathom because my brother never seemed like that type of person to me, a homophobe. He was pretty open minded and nice to everyone. Just not Ricky.

"Are you sure you're gay, Hiro?" he asked me.

I found myself actually irate with what I felt he was implying. Coming out unexpectedly was aggravating enough, but this? Come on. Leave it to ladie's man Tadashi to say something like that. Maybe he should have spent less time at the lab or hanging with Gogo and paid attention to his brother to catch signs that maybe I wasn't straight...

When had I become so needy? Oh my god.

"Jeez, Dashi. Really? Yes, I'm sure." I snapped almost immediately. "Why would you even ask me that? Fucking really?"

Tadashi's eyes widened further at my raised voice and profanity and he shook his head, raising the hand that wasn't holding his coffee with. He tried calming me down. Offering me an apology, he went on.

"Woah, take it easy. Look I'm sorry, alright? Maybe I should have breached that a little differently." he told me, sitting down by my feet. " I'm just... surprised. When were you planning on telling me?"

Sending a sideways glare at my older brother I huffed and rolled my eyes. Why didn't I tell him? Oh I don't know, maybe because it wasn't exactly a great conversation starter. 'Hey Bro, I like dick. Build anything interesting lately? How's Gogo?' Ugh.

"Well it's not like it's something I can just bring up... it's uncomfortable."

"I'm your brother, you can tell me anything. Nothing about you would ever make me uncomfortable." he assured me, polishing off the last of his coffee.

Tipping back his head as he drank, Tadashi's jugular was visible. For the life of me I've never been able to figure out why a man's jaw fascinated me so much. Tadashi was always clean shaven and smooth... yeah that wasn't helping at all.

I scratched the back of my head nervously, unsure of what to say. Suddenly it was hard to look Tadashi in the eyes so I looked down at my lap, where surprisingly enough, I could still feel my erection present beneath the pillow. Great, I can't get up and leave. Suddenly Tadashi was looming over me and my heart stopped until I realized he was just reaching over to put his empty mug on my desk. Of course, duh.

Feeling like a complete moron I groaned unaware that it was out loud. The sound registered in my ears as verbal and I cringed. Tadashi paused after setting his mug down and turned a curious eye on me.

"Look Hiro, I know this is hard on you but you don't need to feel out of place with me. I'm the last person you have to worry about, trust me." He assured me sincerely, lingering too close for comfort. "It's alright."

The statement piqued my interest and I couldn't figure out what the hell he meant by it. What on earth would my older brother know about being gay? Prepared to find out, I looked at him completely bullshit. Tadashi was smart, but sometimes he said things that really made me wonder if he was ignorant.

'Yes, because the man who has every girl on campus cumming in their pants knows what it's like to be gay. You get hit on all the time, by women, yet you know what I'm going through." the sarcasm practically foamed from my mouth."Maybe you should call your girlfriend over and we'll all have an open debate about it while I suffer from pubescent mood swings. Because every time I'm mad, that's the first thing you and Baymax blame it on!"

I continued my aggravated rant with a fairly accurate impersonation of my brother.

"Oh hey, Gogo! Could you do me a favor and come over to help me explain to my homosexual brother how much I can relate to his homosexuality with my heterosexuality? You'll be right over? " I mimicked before deadpanning. "Fantastic."

I half expected Tadashi to get annoyed with my attitude and leave but he actually snorted in amusement before chuckling.

"Well you're right about those mood swings, that's for sure. The other stuff, not so much."

"Oh yeah?"

"Gogo isn't my girlfriend Hiro, she never was. What on earth ever gave you that idea?" he asked me, getting over his amusement. "I don't even look at her in that way."

Tadashi's face became oddly perturbed as he searched mine for something. He reached a hand forward and I internally freaked out worrying that for some reason he was going to rest it on my pillow and feel my 'little' problem. But he placed his hand on mine and squeezed it reassuringly.

The comforting contact struck me as ….strange. He was speaking calmly and staring at me with regretful eyes as if he thought the mere mistake of me assuming he was in a relationship had set me in to turmoil ….which it kinda did. Sort of. But that aside, why did he even care? Apparently I had blanked out momentarily because Tadashi tapped my hand, inching his face closer to me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah Dashi, I'm okay." I responded, shaking off the fog.

"So, why'd you think Gogo and I were a thing anyways? I assure you we're not. I promise you we're not."

Trying to figure out a way to explain myself without sounding jealous I cleared my throat and shrugged, ignoring the way Tadashi was looking at me as if I needed a hug. Deciding to just throw it out there, I answered him.

"Well, you spend a lot of time at the lab and with her. It seemed likely you were dating, or at least approaching that. I don't know, girls are always throwing themselves at you. "

"It never goes anywhere" he argued.

"But you humor them." I countered back... sounding like a jealous girlfriend.

"It's called being polite."

Getting fed up with the prolonged spheal regarding Tadashi's fangirls, I cut to the chase. I really didn't wanna talk about girls, let alone girls fawning after my brother. MY brother.

" So Gogo isn't your girlfriend and you don't bed your classmates, what's your point?"

"I don't care for women all that much."

"So? What's your point-oh-"

It hit me like a brick wall, that is if I what I was getting from his statement was correct. Just to make sure, I asked him.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Nodding, he confirmed it. Leaning away from me he sat up straight and crossed his arms. Waiting for a response, he said nothing. I, of course, didn't want to admit I was wrong about his sexuality. So instead of apologizing, I rolled my eyes.

"So when where YOU planning on telling me? I've been sitting here assuming you get laid by Gogo on the daily."

"Why the fascination with my sex life?"

His question left me speechless and I really didn't know how to respond to it. His eyes bore in to me and sent chills down my spine as he waited for my explanation. All I could think was 'Oh, no reason really. I just don't like picturing some broad riding you at your lab desk.' The thought softened my daunting erection slightly. Playing off my silence as annoyance, I scoffed.

" I was just saying, jeez. I don't care if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever."

The word 'boyfriend' rung in my ears ominously. I pondered if Tadashi had some secret guy Aunt Cass and I didn't know about. But, after stating my indifference to his intimate life, I couldn't contradict myself and ask. He, to my relief, offered up the answer anyways.

"Well I don't have either... never exclusively. Do you? Unless that creep, Ricky, is your boyfriend".

"He's not!" I told him almost impulsively. "...I don't have one. I never did."

"….so that moment I walked in on, was that going to be your first time?"

Blood rushed to my face and my voice rose to nearly three octaves higher than what was naturally comfortable. My erection, thankfully, went flaccid. Thank God for small miracles.

"That's none on your damn business!" I all but squealed, ashamed of the girly pitch.

"Let's just pretend for a minute that it is. So...?" he urged me, teasing smirk creeping on to his face. "Was it?"

The last conversation I wanted to be having with my brother was THIS. So, of course, I punched him in the shoulder without hesitation. As hilarious as Tadashi found my petty avoidance of his question, he wasn't entirely taking the bait. Intent on getting an answer out of me, he lunged forward and pinned me down to my mattress. His fingers found their way under my shirt and he tickled me like I was fucking five, the prick.

"D-Dashi! HA! Cut it out!" I begged him, struggling to get away. "I'm sixteen, Bro!" This ain't right! Stop-"

"Then answer me, smart ass. I don't care how old you are." he insisted, fingers unrelenting. "You pop your cherry with someone yet or not?"

"Okay, Okay!" I squeaked, trying to turn over on to my stomach mortified I was going to pop a stiff one from the compromising position "No! Now let go, asshole!"

I managed to squirm my way on to my stomach. Trying to gain leverage I shuffled my knees up, propping my rear in the air in order to stable myself to slide off my bed. Before I could make my escape Tadashi grabbed me by the belt and tugged me backwards. He ended up pinning me to the mattress triumphantly with his arm pressed between my shoulders and the other holding my belt.

"I'm not surprised. You're a tough one to pin down." he remarked thoughtfully. "How's anyone supposed to get in there?"

Tadashi continued to tickle me and pressed his body weight in to the arm he had digging in to my back. Needless to say, the struggle left me with a stiff one again and my blood ran cold. All Tadashi had to do was flip me and I was exposed. His body on me was too much, this was really bad. Sweat prickling at my hairline, I prayed he was done horsing around. I tried flipping him off me but he was stronger.

He moved his arm and I took the opportunity to push myself up on to my knees. I reached for a pillow but Tadashi must've assumed I was going to whack him with it because he ripped it away from me. Pinning my back to his chest, he held me under the arms with a bicep and noogied me with his free hand. I panicked that he was going to glance down at me and see the suspicious lump in my shorts .

I wiggled trying to free myself but it was pointless. He ended up slipping and I tumbled forward so he caught me by the hips. But of course his hand had to hit something else on the way back. Something rather sensitive.

"Ahh!" I grunted, soon regretting I hadn't stayed quiet.

Being the protective sibling he was, he immediately tried turning me over to see what happened. I insisted I was fine but no matter how much I struggled he got his way. Flipped over on to my back, my little problem was exposed. He stared at the mound between my legs as if totally shocked... his eyes lingered a little longer than necessary so I hastily grabbed a pillow and slammed it on my lap. Back to this.

"Look Tadashi it's -"

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" he cut me off, worried he'd caused actual damage. "Are you in pain?"

"What? N-No, I'm fine." I stammered, shaken up with nerves. "I-It's fine."

He glanced down at where the pillow was being held firmly against me and then back up to my face that I'm sure was the deepest shade of scarlet ever. Christ, why me? He tried taking the pillow but I held on to it.

"Let me check." he insisted calmly, hand still gripping the pillow. "Show me-"

"WHAT! Are you crazy? "I yelped, unsure of what I had just heard. "That's not necessary!"

"I'm your brother, come here!"

The pillow was ripped from me and there it was again, still completely erect and perfectly fine. Still needing to investigate further, he undid my pants. Then much to my dismay, he pulled down my underwear down enough to free my returned friend. Refusing to look at him, I covered my face. Time stood still while he ' took in the damage'. I don't think I'd ever been so embarrassed in my entire life... but I was proven wrong.

"Does it hurt if I touch it?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Does it hurt when I touch it?"

I reached down alarmed to keep Tadashi from touching my boner but he was quicker than me. Wrapping his fingers around me, he squeezed softly. Grasping at my own hair I inhaled deeply through my nose and held it. This was not happening, it couldn't be happening.

Tadashi didn't release me. Holding me in his hand, he spoke up. All I could hear was blood rushing through my ears with the same pulse as the organ my older brother currently had in his big, warm hand. A hand that felt amazing.

"Well? Does it hurt?"

"Not quite" I gasped, aware that my erection had reached it's full capacity. "You can let go, nothing's broken... "

It would have been naive of me to think such a detail had gone unnoticed by my observant older brother. Embarrassed out of my mind, I could have cried had we not been in such intimate proximity. Insisting that I was not injured in any way, I encouraged him to let go. Instead, he squeezed me and began stroking carefully. So gently like he was cautious of hurting me... or startling me.

"You sure?" he asked me, rubbing the pad of his thumb along the underside of my tip.

"D-Dashi I'm fine, n-nothing hurts-"

I reached out to grab his hand, just too overwhelmed with what was going on. My brother, whom was so careful with me, suddenly snatched my hand to keep me from moving his.

"You still think this is about that?"

The way his voice dropped in to a serious tone made me freeze up. A swift swipe along my slit fixed that right away. Jerking forward reflexively, I responded to the surge of sensation that prickled where his thumb had been. What was happening suddenly became very clear. This was no longer a wellness check. Not at all. I couldn't believe it.

"Tadashi, w-what are you doing?"

"For a genius you're pretty dense, baby brother." He teased. "It's pretty true what they say, those with smarts lack common sense."

I didn't get an opportunity to protest because an intense wet heat engulfed my cock, cutting off what I would have said. Aunt Cass chose a hell of a day not to be home. Fighting the urge to scream incoherently, I bit the inside of my cheek as Tadashi continued what he was doing. Jacking off felt absoultely nothing like this at all.

When I touched myself, aside from in the shower where I had soap, my hand was dry. Tadashi's tongue was wet and so much warmer than my palm. He dragged it up the underside of my shaft and I hyperventilated from the excess of stimulation. I heard virgins blew their load pretty quickly, terrified of finding out whether that was true or not I tried convincing my brother to back off.

"Y-You can't do that!" I panted, feeling like my release was going to spurt from me any moment. "I'll-"

Tadashi offered some brief relief by lifting his tongue off me to speak while looking up at my face.

"You'll cum? I'm fairly certain we've had that talk already." he scolded me lightly.

This was so fucking bad. What I had guiltily fantasized about for years was finally happening... and I was going to ruin it by cuming like a damn thirteen year old.

"Um, which talk? The 'bird and the bees 'or the 'you sucking my dick ' talk? Because I'm fairly certain this was never on any fucking syllbus you printed out for me while I was thirteen or during any of the puberty lectures!" I leaned up on my elbows, red in the face. "Yeah, that second talk never happened!"

He looked at me as if completely unphased by what I had said.

"What are you so worried about?" he asked, tracing me with his thumb again. "Relax."

And with that said, he pressed on the center of chest and pushed me to lie back down. Lips wrapped around me once more, he picked up where he left off. The familiar churning in my loins warned me of what was to happen and once more I tried sitting up, pleading with Tadashi.

"Seriously! If you don't stop I'm going to-"

His hand came up and pushed me down again. On top of not stopping, he actually picked up pace. Realizing I wasn't getting out of this, I grit my teeth and held on as long as I could...which wasn't saying much. My seed shot down his throat and the spots behind my eyelids dazed me while he pulled off. I faintly heard him swallow. Once coming back around, I groaned in embarrassment. Seventeen seconds... hell of a record. Hand covering my eyes, I said nothing.

My brother must have known what was going through my head and tapped my stomach comfortingly.

"I didn't last too long the first time either, that's normal." he cooed, "Now quit it."

Crawling up towards me he pulled my hand away from my face, forcing me to look at him I ignored that he'd just admitted to fooling around with someone at some point. His brown eyes bore holes through me, making me feel intensely exposed. He reared up on his knees and tugged his stained work tank off, throwing it towards the foot of my bed. I'd never realized just how in shape Tadashi was until given the chance to openly take it all in. Tadashi made no effort to completely hide his body from me in the past, I never watched him too openly in fear of being caught.

The hem of my t-shirt was snagged by his fingers and he pulled it off me, tossing it to join his. Surprising to even me, I didn't fight him as he hooked my underwear and pants together and removed them. When completely naked, I registered how exposed I actually was now. Tadashi paid no mind to my bashfulness and stood from the bed.

I didn't ask him where he was going. I heard his feet padding along the wooden floor and assumed he went to retrieve something from his room. My assumption was confirmed when I heard a drawer being opened across the room, presumably his nightstand. I mentally braced myself for him to return but Tadashi caught me off guard with something entirely different.

"Hiro." he called out me. "Come here."

I couldn't help but wince at his request. He wanted me to get up from this bed and walk over to him stark naked. All whilst I was still recovering mentally from what had just happened between us. I hesitated, but he called out to me again.

"Little brother, listen to me... don't think I won't put you over my knee."

"I'm sixteen!"

"All the more reason to do so, smart mouth. Get your little backside over here."

Deciding to not risk having him follow through with that threat, I sat up. After what he did a few minutes ago, I wouldn't put it past him to spank me. As if taking the walk of shame, I looked anywhere but his face.

"That's a sure fire way to hurt yourself, look where you're going."

Even in a situation like this he could still scold me like a child. God damnit

Sucking in a deep breath, I looked up. I don't typically wilt easily under anyone's stare, but Tadashi was a different story. I couldn't tell you for the life of me why I suddenly found him so intimidating. Years of talking back to him and throwing cheeky remarks should have prepared me to hold myself steady at a time like this, but nope. Maybe it was the nudity. I don't fucking know. It was as if I'd lost my backbone.

It was abundantly clear that he was taking in all of it. He sat on his bed, shirtless with just his jeans on, and watched me approach him. By the time I made it halfway to him I lost my nerve and felt like I would pass out . I stopped moving but he beckoned me forward with a curled finger and I bit the bullet, losing the gap between us.

Tadashi patted his lap invitingly but unsure of how to sit, I hesitated. He held both hands up, motioning me to straddle him. Swallowing, I placed my hands on his shoulders and swung my leg over him as gracefully as I could manage. Balancing on the edge of his knees apparently wasn't close enough so he grabbed me by the rear and pulled me further in to his lap until my thighs were forced apart widely.

"Comfortable?" he teased, hands unusually warm on my buttcheeks.

"Um, yeah..."

The denim of his jeans was kind of rough against the underside of my thighs... my other stuff was pressed up against Tadashi's abs. I felt something smooth and cold bump my knee on the mattress as I wiggled to situate myself better and made a noise of surprise. Craning my neck to try and see I grunted in frustration but Tadashi plucked it and shook it. I could hear a heavy liquid sloshing and my curiosity died. Unaware of my fingers tightening on his shoulders, I shifted nervously.

Yup, that was lube.

"You nervous?" he taunted, gentle worry lacing his light hearted teasing. "If you are it's okay."

Not willing to admit my fear, I summoned up what little snarkiness laid dormant in my gut and retorted back aggressively

"No, of course not."

Tadashi grabbed me by the neck and looked me straight in the eye, his stare shaking me to the core once more and killing my attitude on the spot.

"Liar." he whispered before kissing me.

His mouth tasted vaguely sweet with a hint of acidic aftertaste. Nothing I had ever put in my mouth tasted like it and I wondered what the hell it was before realizing it was me. His mouth tasted like my semen. Rather than pull away disgusted, I kissed him back. The feeling of his mouth on mine outweighed the unusual flavor. Hopefully I'd eventually taste him without my residue some other time. I could only hope.

Tadashi must've forgotten we needed oxygen, that or I was simply out of breath from everything taking place. Wrenching myself away, I gasped for air. My brother said nothing and bumped the cold surface of the lube bottle against my hip before snapping it open. I flinched and he snickered.

"Still not nervous?"

I hit him in the chest lightly but he countered back by sliding a dry finger along the crack of my ass, starting from the curve of my lower back down to the bit of skin that rested beneath my testicles. The fingers disappeared momentarily and I heard the thunk of the bottle being placed on the nightstand. Pulling one of cheeks apart from the other Tadashi spread me open enough to comfortably access where he needed to go. A cold glob of lube was smeared along my entrance and I'm fairly certain I'd never squealed so loudly...

I'd NEVER squeeled, period.

I gripped Tadashi's shoulders with a vice knuckle grip from the shock and he squeezed my buttcheek leisurely. Every muscle in my body clenched in shock. The feeling of something back there was completely foreign to me, not to mention lube was cold and slimy and did not feel right. Just not at all.

"Woah! Hey, take it easy." he told me. "What's wrong?"

"Warn me before you do that!"

After talking me down from my mini panic attack, Tadashi convinced me to relax enough for him to try and get a finger in. I don't know what I was expecting it to feel like...but I wasn't prepared for it. He slid in up to the first knuckle and I nearly clawed him. Pain wasn't so much an issue, the unusual sensation was more my concern.

Struggling to breath, I tried not to fight his finger but of course my muscles were not working with me. Getting enough air in to my lungs just was not possible. After wiggling the rest of the finger inside, Tadashi decided to bring up the issue.

"You're really not used to this." he commented, gently trying to stretch me with one finger.

"You think?"

His finger glided smoothly through the copious lubrication, only faltering when my muscles clamped down spontaneously. Even while in my brother's lap and clinging his chest I couldn't fully wrap my head around the fact this was all happening. As surreal as it was, it didn't feel 'wrong'. The logical part of my brain argued how taboo this all in fact was, but there were bigger things to worry about...LITERALLY.

"How is this supposed to happen?" I asked him, whining as a second finger tried penetrating me. "It's not going to fit!"

Tadashi tsk'ed and eased the second finger inside me while ignoring my yelp of surprise. He looked thoughtful as he leisurely scissored me, his eyes focused on his handy work as he peered over my shoulder. Saying nothing while I wiggled in his lap, he continued his actions and scolded me whenever I tried to clamping down him.

"You've never tried this before, have you?" he remarked, sounding nearly surprised. " I assumed you would have already done this to yourself."

"When would I ever have had the chance to? " I told him."You would have walked in on it!"

"What a sight that would have been, hm?"

His lips touched my collar bone as I arched my chest in to him, feeling an odd pressure inside me. Tadashi's fingertips were pressing inside me and it felt as if he were searching for something. Moving a centimeter deeper, he found it. If his arm wasn't around my waist I would have jumped and hit the ceiling most likely.

"Oh my god!" I yelled, arms quaking around his neck. "What are you-what you..? AHH!"

His fingers steadily massaged what felt like a bump inside me, swirling the fleshy pads of his fingers around it slowly. The hair on the back of my neck stood up pleasurably as if electricity were surging from his fingers up my spine. It felt good, but it was too much.

"What are you t-touching?" I asked him, completely clueless. "That feels-"

"Feels good? This-" he stated, poking the spot firmly. "This is your prostate."

"I didn't know that was even a thing." I gasped, beginning to sweat from my muscle tremors. "You n-never said anything a-about it..."

My brother grazed his teeth along the hollow of my collarbone and sucked on my skin teasingly, licking the red spot afterwards.

"Well had someone opened their mouth two years ago and said 'Big brother, I'm gay.' you would have gotten an entirely different talk."

Leave it to him, I mean honestly. Only Tadashi Hamada could use such a condescending tone in this situation and get away with it. Trying to get rid of the nagging pressure building inside me, I ground my rear down on to his hand. The insistent movement didn't quite appease it and he removed his fingers without warning.

Suddenly I was being lifted. Tadashi had stood from the bed and dropped me dead center on the mattress. The sound of his zipper being undone hit my ears like a warning and I swallowed heavily. Looking up, I saw him drop them to the floor. A very large bulge protruding from the thin black cotton of his briefs after. Time slowed down as I watched him reach for the elastic waist of his underwear, and like blushing bride I turned away.

Tadashi allowed me to do so and removed them without me watching. Due to not watching what he was doing, I was not prepared for when he got on the bed. He palmed my inner thighs and spread them apart as he situated himself between them. Glancing down saw his impressive erection sticking out proudly, the tip glistening from his pent up arousal.

If I wasn't scared earlier I was definitely scared now. He reached forward and I shrunk in to myself before following the direction his hand had gone. He picked up the lube he had placed on his nightstand and poured some on himself. Aligning himself with my entrance, he looked up at me for my final consent and as if in a trance I nodded.

His tip entered smoothly and I sighed in relief, it wasn't until he began inching forward that the familiar panic set in again. The closer the base of his shaft got to my entrance, the tighter I closed around him. His width was rather impressive, his fingers did not compare. A mild burning sensation ignited across the skin stretching to accommodate his size and I bit the inside of my cheek in distress.

"Ow..."

Tadashi slowed his movements but kept on until there was just no way I could handle it. Speaking to me soothingly, he tried coaxing me to relax. Unfortunately, it did not work. Tadashi brought it to my attention that he was only half way in, which equated to about four and a half inches. Being that he was not penetrating me deep enough to stimulate my prostate, there was no pleasurable distraction from the burning I felt.

Clearly identifying my issue, Tadashi made no further attempt to breech me further and eased back an inch before thrusting in to me shallowly. His fingers wrapped around my erection which had deflated slightly during the discomfort. His control was remarkably impressive as he held himself back from slamming his entire length in to me.

"Just focus on breathing, it's alright."

The precise strokes on my dick brought back my arousal, the pain a vague memory in my clouded thoughts. I clenched my eyes shut in bliss while Tadashi touched me and moved with controlled rhythm. I reached my brink fairly quickly, Tadashi on the other hand became sloppy as his orgasm neared. No longer able to control his thrusts from penetrating me too deeply, he pulled out.

I opened my eyes to see what was happening but was completely caught off guard by what I saw. Tadashi stroked at himself furiously, staring at me. Mesmerized I couldn't look away, no matter how embarrassed I felt for staring back at him. When realizing I was watching him, he groaned and his released sprayed on to me.

Laying there with Tadashi panting over me, his cum splattered across my torso, you'd think I'd have some moral trip about fucking my blood brother, not to mention giving him my virginity. But nope. I vaguely wondered if I should have brought it up, but I chose not to and focused on regaining my bearings.

Tadashi seemed to be on the same boat as me, tired and worn out. Resting back on his knees and breathing heavily he stabilized himself. His face and chest accumulated a thin layer of perspiration, the mixture of sweat and bodily oils catching the light. I caught myself staring, mesmerized by it, the dips and peaks of his muscles and cheekbones glistening.

He looked at me suddenly and I flinched. Locking eyes with me, an amused smirk dawned his face. Having been caught staring I shrunk in to myself but Tadashi crawled forward and loomed over me. With no warning, he was sliding his finger through the sticky mess on my skin. Being that I came prior to our copulation, my last release was lacking volume. Meaning the semen on me was mostly Tadashi's.

I didn't know what he was doing until he raised his finger to my mouth jokingly... I thought he was joking. As his finger neared me I waited for him to take it back but he didn't. I jerked away reflexively once he came within inches of my lips and he laughed in response, sticking his tongue out at me.

"Baby. " he taunted.

Choosing not to let him get the better of me I rolled my eyes and pushed Tadashi back with the flat of my foot then tried sitting up. He stumbled back, caught off balance, and barely missed falling off the bed. After resituating himself he lunged forward, wrestling me down in to the mattress. Hands on my narrow shoulders he pinned me down and rose his knee up in to the space between my thighs. I felt his knee nudge me warningly.

"Pick your battles." he chided, shit eating grin across his face. "Trust me."

Never had I been one to worry about my appearance or stature before, but it hit me how scrawny I was for my age as Tadashi looked me over. I looked back him, his sculpted body wet and musky from sex. Sixteen years old and I stood at about five feet and seven inches, skinny and hardly any muscle mass to speak off. Tadashi was shy of six feet and was nicely sculpted but not overly muscular. Asshole. A feeling of insecurity washed over me again.

How did I look right now? Covered in semen, flushed and small in comparison to my strapping older brother. He overpowered me so easily, like I was some wimpy girl. Should I have been embarrassed? I didn't have time to dwell on it so I brushed it off.

" I'll remember that..."

Feeling like I desperately needed some space and shower, I urged Tadashi to let me up with the excuse that I just needed to clean up. When he let me up I scurried from his bed, ignoring the fact I was still stark naked. Since Aunt Cass wasn't home I skipped getting dressed and just walked to the bathroom as is. Thankfully Aunt Cass had her own bathroom in her room so the one in the downstair's hallway was only for Tadashi and I.

Our bathroom was pretty average in size, barely enough room to accommodate two people at once. I decided I didn't want a shower so I ran the water in the tub. As I waited for it to fill I looked in the mirror, analyzing myself. Never had I ever seen myself in a sexual light. Being that I fantasized about my brother throughout the stages of puberty and figured it'd never go anywhere, I had no reason to think I'd ever be put in such a situation that I'd just found myself in. But as I stared back at myself, sweaty, blushing and smeared with Tadashi's semen I felt like I looked different... but still annoyingly scrawny.

What did Tadashi even see in me? What did Ricky see in me? Ricky tried instigating sex earlier before Tadashi barged in... Tadashi actually followed through with it. Did I look... okay? For a sixteen year old I still kind of looked young. It was fairly obvious I was a teenager, there just wasn't much to me. Shaking myself from the intrusive thoughts I turned and shut off the water then stepped in to the water. It was comfortably hot and I settled in, the tub only about half way filled. I could hear Tadashi walking in the hall and assumed he was going to the kitchen but his steps grew louder and soon I heard his voice.

"Thought you were taking a shower."

I turned my head to retort sarcastically but was greeted with a sight I did not bargain for. Tadashi leaning in the doorway with two rolled up towels under his arm... naked. He stood in all his glory, tall lean and sculpted with everything right there in my line of view. His pubic hair was groomed but growing back in, the course straight black hair stood out against his smooth skin... Would I ever look like that? My eyes lingered too long and Tadashi followed where they had been looking.

"Yeah, it's time I do some maintenance down there again. I'll take care of it tonight." he told me, referring to his pubes. "I came to shower with you but you're taking a bath."

Coming back to my senses I averted my eyes awkwardly, mentally denying how embarrassed I felt. I had been staring at my brother's crotch but at least he was unphased.

"I was gonna shower but changed my mind..." I mumbled, the image of him just then burned in to my brain. "Sorry?"

"Scoot forward."

Tadashi closed the bathroom door and set the towels by the sink before getting in the tub behind me. His legs stretched out and he pulled me to sit between them, my back to his chest. He reached for the bottle of body wash, some 'two in one' shampoo and soap formula, and squeezed a palmful of it in to his hand. He handed me the bottle and I took it, squeezing a smaller amount out. Tadashi began washing under his arms and lathering his broad chest generously as I meekly soaped up my skinny arms.

We washed in somewhat comfortable silence, my mind wandering to the image of Tadashi standing before me naked. I washed away the semen from my torso and rinsed it, ready to move on to my backside. I tried figuring out how to go about it but having Tadashi right there made me a strange combination of shy and self conscious.

"Hey, Dashi?" I asked him, staring down at the water between my legs.

"Hm?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Turn away for a minute..." I requested, cringing at how unsure I sounded. "I need to wash...back there..."

Tadashi scoffed and plucked the bottle of body wash from me before pressing on my back for me to lean forward.

"Get on your knees and put your hands on the edge near the spout."

Of course my first reaction wasn't to hop right in to, but Tadashi insisted. So, once again, I was vulnerable and at the mercy of my brother when I only wanted to clean up modestly. Just awesome. I could practically picture Tadashi leaning back casually and enjoying the view of my ass bent in front of his face.

"Time to clean you up."

The sound of the body wash being squeezed caught my attention and the sound was soon followed by two sudsy hands grabbing my butt. They lathered the small mounds of flesh gently, his thumbs gliding between my cheeks. Keeping my breathing steady, I relaxed as he innocently cleaned me up. Nice things don't last though because his finger soon found my sore entrance. Sucking air through the gap in my teeth, I tried clenching around the intrusion but my muscles were too sore and I had no choice but to allow him in.

"A-Ah, Dashi..." I gasped, feeling his finger move. "Could you not?"

"Just being thorough." he assured me with a patronizing tone "You want to be clean, don't you?"

Knowing fully what he was doing I gave no further argument as he slid in and out. Not wanting to be spoken to like a child again, I allowed him to continue. After all, he was actually cleaning me regardless of what other gratification he got from doing it. Each time he pulled his finger out, he pushed back in slightly deeper. Slowly, but surely, he reached my prostate again. A whining sound escaped my lips as he teased it. I could've sworn I heard him chuckle under his breath.

"You're so cute." he commented off handedly, his fingers becoming increasingly aggressive. "I bet you could cum another time."

Needless to say, Tadashi was determined to make it happen. He pistoned his fingers in and out of me, curling them as he entered each time. I don't know what came over me, but a searing heat filled my lower belly and seeped to the rest of my body like a raging blush. Just heat consuming me and this unexplainable urge to wail.

I felt as if I needed to scream from the sensations taking over, the ones he was giving to me. Past my lips slipped inklings of my failed restraint, small whines and cries. I tried my best to repress the sounds threatening to tether off my tongue but my brother was not letting that happen.

"We're alone" he reminded me, pressing my tender spot roughly. "Let it out."

Hot breath wafted past the wet skin of my lower back, Tadashi's lips pressing a kiss to the dip of my tailbone. My limbs rattled, struggling to hold me up as my body reacted to the sensual feel of my brother's mouth now licking and suckling my skin. Then I let loose, having lost the will to contain myself.

"Aaahh!"I groaned loudly, out of breath from holding it in. "Oh my god! Tadashiiii-"

I groaned and moaned repeatedly, shaking as Tadashi kept up his relentless pace. From behind me he smiled to himself coyly, unseen seen by me. Easy as ever he moved his fingers steadily, licking at his lips casually to wet them as I near lost my mind from his touch.

"There you go, just let it happen." he whispered, more to himself than me. " It's only us here."

Time might've slowed down or even stopped, for all I know everything disappeared. All I could register was the feeling inside me and the adrenaline spiking through my system as Tadashi whispered to me encouragingly, his low and leisurous voice pushing me over the edge and in to a warm, glowing pool of afterglow.


	3. Chapter 3

Movies » Big Hero 6 » Unplanned Events  
Author: RandomJaz « »   
Rated: M - English - General - Reviews: 35 - Published: 11-23-15 - Updated: 09-17-16 id:11631417  
As I held myself up with the ledge of the tub under the faucet, the water underneath me splashed at my thighs as Tadashi kneeled up in the water. I was lightheaded and still dazed. As he crept in closer to me I really expected him to take me again, but he didn't. I expected to feel his dick pressing against me but I felt lips touch the small of my back instead. He kissed my smooth skin chastly then helped me to stand up with my legs near gelatinous.

He pushed me aside gently to turned the shower on, keeping me from the stream of cold water as it began to run. I put my hands on the showerwall but he had a hand on me anyways, making sure I was okay. Soon the water warmed and I complained.

"We just took a bath" I groaned wobbly on my legs " What are you turning the shower on for?"

"Just to do a rinse off...don't whine about about it either." Tadashi scolded me. "We need to really clean off this time."

"I could just get out." I told him, reaching for the curtain that he had drawn shut.

"With all that soap in your bum?"

I froze in realization, then shifted my eyes in aggravation. There really wasn't a graceful way to get soap out of my bum. I tried splashing water but Tadashi had really gotten it up there so it took some effort. Tadashi acted as if he didn't notice my struggle but I could see the slight upturn of his lips as he internally laughed at me.

The shower ended without further problem. Tadashi shut off the water and I pulled open the curtain, stepping out on to the bath mat. Tadashi grabbed the towels and we dried off enough as to not drip water everywhere then headed up to our bedroom. Although we were alone, we still shut our bedroom door out of habit.

"I'm going to grab something to put on." Tadashi announced casually, walking past me to his side of the room. "Get dressed too, you'll catch a chill standing around naked."

"I'm well aware of that..."

Tadashi went to his side of the room, drying his hair as he did so. I could hear him rummaging around his drawers as I finished drying off my body which was still damp. Moving on to my hair, I tried to wring out the water clinging to my thick strands but of course it stayed fairly wet. I bent at the waist to try again and a wolf whistle made me stand back up.

I didn't have to say anything because Tadashi stuck his tongue out before offering an apology. After drying my hair the best I could, I chucked my towel in the laundry before searching for something clean to wear. A plain shirt and some pajama bottoms ended up being what I decided on and I put them on. I noticed my clothes thrown across the floor by my bed and stared at them blankly...Tadashi and I had really done that.

Never at any point did I think my taboo crush on my older brother would actually go anywhere. Years of masterubating in the shower to in depth fantasies conditioned me to accept how unrealistic my infatuation was. Thinking Gogo and him were a thing had mentally fucked with me but I just accepted it despite my angst. But now here I was, freshened up after having my first sexual encounters with none other than big brother himself... it's funny how things play out.

A normal teenager's thought process would probably be something along the lines of giddy and excited after bedding their 'crush', but me being the cynical brat that I can be, I questioned it. How was this going to carry on? Would it? To be completely fair, Tadashi never said anything about romantic feelings for me. We just fucked. The mood swings I oh so loved began making their appearance, filling me with a sense of dread and regret. This was all going to pan out horribly.

"Hey, I'm gonna go grab a snack." Tadashi piped up walking by me from behind. "I'll be back in just a bit. You want something?"

"I'm not hungry, thanks though." I dismissed, my mind somewhere far away food.

"Yup."

Tadashi left the room casually and I sighed under my breath. Plucking up the mess of clothes I had on the floor, I grit my teeth in aggravation. Never in my life had I felt so abruptly dumb. Tadashi was probably going to carry on as if nothing happened and I'd be stuck fawning after the small taste I got of him for years to come while he carried on with his life and got boyfriend his own, one he wasn't related to.

I found myself feeling very angry, as if someone had flipped a switch. I no longer cared that Tadashi left the room, I was glad he did. Fuck him, I would need to get over him soon enough. I slammed the dirty clothes in to the laundry bin far more aggressively than what would ever be considered normal and groaned. Of course Tadashi wouldn't love me the way I love him, it was silly of me to think he could. I'd heard sometimes siblings experiment with one another, or I hopefully googled it once... but it never went too far past that for many reasons.

Dropping on to my bed I practically ripped the sheets over my body, shoving my face in to a pillow to repress my desire to scream. Testosterone and heartbreak was a dangerous combination, the feelings coursing through my chest was the most aggravating sensation ever. I felt like a child having a tantrum without the actual tantrum taking place. Squeezing my eyes shut I held my breath in an attempt to relax. I was getting myself worked up in seconds and for what?

Feeling worn out from the activities which had taken place and my current turmoil, I decided a nap was a good idea. It was a couple hours before what would be dinner time if Aunt Cass was home, so I clicked off my bedside lamp and prepared to sleep. Laying there while trying to sleep calmed me down significantly, the action controlling my breathing and relaxing me naturally. The corners of my mind raced with annoyed thoughts but I shook it off just wanting to nap.

Barely ten minutes went by and I was close to drifting off when my bedroom door creaked open and I could hear Tadashi approaching my bed. His steps were slow and careful, unhurried as if he were mindful of the irritation I secretly had brewing.

"Hiro?" he called, walking up to the side of my bed, standing where I wasn't facing

"What?" I grunted sleepily, not willing to open my eyes or move; I was comfortable and still vaguely pissy.

Tadashi sat on the mattress, placing his hand on my side. His warm hand rubbed me briefly before he stilled it and laid down next to me, getting under the sheets. A gust of air hit me softly as he lifted the sheets before his warmth pressed in to me. His arm threw itself around my waist and I felt fingers drum gently along my clothed abdomen.

"Going to bed already? It's barely five o' clock."

"Well I'm tired..." I mumbled, mad a myself for enjoying the way he was holding me.

"It's too early to sleep, you'll be up around two in the morning probably." he reasoned." Besides, you haven't even had dinner. Aren't you hungry? You should eat something before turning in for the night."

My brain woke up a little from Tadashi speaking so close to my ear and I really wished he hadn't gotten in bed with me...again. I wanted to sleep, dinner was irrelevant right now. Sure I was kind of hungry but I didn't care.

"I'm not hungry." I argued quietly, shifting away from him a bit but still in his hold. "I'm not interested."

Of course my stomach had to disagree. It gurgled in protest, rumbling under Tadashi's fingers. He laughed softly and tapped my belly with a finger. More gurgles and rumbles that disproved my lack of interested in some well needed food.

"Sure you're not. Come on sleepy head, what do you wanna eat? Aunt Cass left money for dinner, we're ordering in."

"I don't really care what we get, just no pizza. Not in the mood for it after having it yesterday..." I told him, accepting that I wasn't going to get away without eating. "You can choose."

"Chinese food?" he asked me.

" I don't see why not."

He kissed my head before pulling away, setting my blanket right. My eyes were wide and Tadashi couldn't seem them being he was behind my turned back. Standing up he rustled my hair and went to retrieve his cellphone from his coat pocket where he had left it. Pulling it from it's confines, he scrolled his contacts for the take out number. I could hear the digital beeps of his phone while he clicked through the contacts as he approached my bed again.

"Want your usual?" he questioned, ready to dial. "General Gau?"

"Yeah." I answered, unmoving from my bed. "That's fine."

About half an hour later Tadashi and I were making our way downstairs as the delivery person rang the doorbell. I sat at the table as Tadashi went to answer the door. He paid for the food and bid the delivery guy goodbye before shutting the door and joining me at the table. The paper brown bag was set down and he unpacked it. A box of steamed rice, a pair of eggrolls, some beef and broccoli and a small container of general gau chicken were placed between us.

"Well it looks good, they came fairly quick too."

"I hope it tastes good. It's hit or miss with this place."

"We can only hope for the best. Hang tight while I grab our plates."

Tadashi grabbed some plates and silverware then brought them back to the table. I helped myself to some rice and poured some chicken next to it, Tadashi did the same but had beef and broccoli instead. We ate and Tadashi made small talk, smiling at me while doing so. I spooned rice in to my mouth, chewing it, then took a bite of the spicy glazed chicken chunks. Something seemed kind of off about it but I didn't think too deeply in to it. It looked fine, was I imaging the weird taste?

Some pieces tasted totally fine while others had a funny aftertaste. The smaller pieces tasted better than the larger ones and I felt my stomach churn a little. I wondered if maybe take out was a bad idea. I set my fork and knife down and Tadashi noticed right away.

"Everything alright?"

I nodded, pushing my plate away a little.

"Yeah, I think I'm done." I explained, feeling grossed out. " I don't want anymore."

"Is something wrong with your food?" he asked, very confused. "You look really put off."

"The chicken tastes ...off. I think I'm imagining it. The bigger pieces taste weird... the texture is off too."

I felt like sludge was sitting in my belly. Tadashi furrowed his brow before reaching over and picking up my utensils. He cut in to some of the smaller pieces of chicken and they were fine. He sliced a larger piece and the insides looks translucent in the center, pink and fleshy meat nestled amongst cooked chicken flesh.

"This wasn't cooked all the way! " Tadashi quipped, dropping the fork and knife. "You just ate partially raw chicken... yuck. The larger pieces weren't cooked long enough."

The thought nauseated me further than what I already felt and I turned my face away in disgust. Tadashi shook his head and picked up my plate.

"I'm gonna clear your plate in to the trash, stay put. I'll get you a drink." He consoled me, seeing me grimace. "That is so incredibly negligent of them. How can they do that? It's not that hard to cook food all the way through. They're a restaurant for crying out loud."

"Ew, let's just not talk about it. It's grossing me out."

Tadashi did just as he said he would, junking the gross leftovers and grabbing me a glass of water. I drank it, feeling it wash down the swill. Tadashi waited for me to finish and took the glass from me immediately, refilling it at the sink. He insisted I drink the second glass, I told him I was fine but he didn't let up. I gave in and drank it, refusing to drink anymore.

"Well you needed to wash it down with something." He reasoned, happy I drank the water. "That can't be good for your stomach."

"Again, let's not talk about it."

"Okay, Okay. But you should at least go brush your teeth."

After that I went upstairs to brush my teeth in our bathroom because I was really grossed out by what I had eaten. I had a good gargle before coming back down to help clean the table. I felt gross but otherwise fine. Tadashi was finishing off clearing the table when I got down there so I turned around, ready to retreat back upstairs but Tadashi stopped me.

"Hey, don't go. I was going to watch a movie, join me." he offered, gesturing to the living room. "There's a robotics documentary on soon."

I wasn't particularly in the mood for it but figured watching that was better than just going back to bed.

"As long as it's one I haven't seen..."

"It's not."

Tadashi grabbed the remote, turning on the television. Curling my knees up to my chest, I sat in the corner of the couch, as far from him as the furniture would allow. A man's voice came from the speakers, narrating boldly.

"The amazing world of robotics, where science and imagination take strides!"

I internally rolled my eyes at the man's enthusiasm. It felt like a middle school science class video. Time went on and I made no comments, just watching boredly. Eventually I just shut my eyes, trying to will away the dull ache in my belly. I was completely ready to take a nap. Probably ten minutes after I shut my eyes, I heard the television click off . Weight shifted on the couch cushions and I felt fingers touching my cheek.

"You falling asleep again?"

Cracking my eyes open, I looked at Tadashi with a borderline apathetic expression.

"Maybe."

The predatory glint in his eyes from earlier in the day returned and he smiled the tiniest bit before leaning in closely, placing his arms on either side of me and effectively trapping me in the corner of the couch.

"Don't get smart with me." he warned, bringing his lips nearer "I have no problem with taking charge and fixing that behavior. I'll snap it right out of you."

Out of reflex I "pfft'ed" and rolled my eyes. That was certainly the biggest mistake ever. Fingers curled around my neck from behind my skull and I was pulled forward to lay across his knees. I didn't have the time to panic because when I realized what he did, he already moved on to pulling down my pajama pants. He grazed my round cheeks with the tips of his nails, making me aware of how much power he actually had.

"What was that?" he asked me, "Was that doubt I witnessed?"

"Ha ha..." I laughed nervously, trying get up. "Funny, Tadashi. Let me up."

Tadashi held me firmly, not letting me move. He drummed his fingers on my bum, feeling the flesh bounce the slightest bit underneath them. It hit me that he wasn't messing around and I swallowed thickly at the thought of him following through with some sort of spanking. Surely he was just messing around.

"I'm not laughing." he stated, squeezing one cheek. "There's nothing funny here."

Two fingers were brought to my lips and pressed suggestively against them. Now wasn't the best time to be playing around but if I were truthful, I was happy to see Tadashi showing interest in further activities. I took his fingers inside my mouth and sucked, not totally sure what I was doing. He allowed me to do it for a bit, rubbing my bum with his other hand.

"This is much better than that movie, hm?" he patronized me, moving his fingers around my tongue before pulling them out. "So much better."

He brought the damp digits down to my back side, easing them between my plump cheeks, seeking my entrance. I grunted as he slid them inside, my hands grasping at the couch cushion. He moved them carefully but it hurt from his earlier pillaging.

"That doesn't feel too great..."

"Then let's try something a little different."

I balanced myself as Tadashi scooted back on the couch a little more, dragging me with him as I was held down across his lap. His upper thighs pressed in to my stomach a bit uncomfortably and I winced but otherwise was fine. The dull ache in my belly wasn't severe, just there. He patted me on back and told me to stand up. I did so, pulling the back of my pajama bottoms up over my bum again as I felt awkward from the exposure.

I prepared to walk back up to our room, assuming that's what he wanted, but Tadashi pulled me to him and held me close. The sudden movement sloshed my stomach and I felt really off. My stomach clenched painfully, gurgling with heavy gloops under my shirt.

"Come here, Hiro..."

His hands took my face and he leaned down to kiss me. Earlier I would have been ecstatic about Tadashi instigating a kiss but currently there was something getting in the way of my enjoyment. My stomach... it leaped and next thing I know there was a cold chill running through me. I frantically pryed myself away from Tadashi who made a swipe for me but I dodged him and sprinted to the bathroom. Luckily it was still open from earlier and I flung myself on to my knees in front of the toilet and puked out my dinner. Tadashi must not have heard my gagging because he called out me urgently, as if was hurt by my getaway.

"Hiro?"

I retched, spilling the contents of my stomach, utterly grossed out. I really didn't want anyone, let alone Tadashi, to see me like that. I wished I had at least flung the door closed when running in, but of course you don't think of those things when vomit is projectiling up from your stomach ready to blow everywhere. I grimaced as I heard Tadashi's frantic running after I retched unintentionally loud, my sides hurting as the awful food made its way out.

"Hiro!" He called again, concerned as he certainly heard me throwing up now. "Hold on, I'm coming."

Sure enough he rounded the corner to the bathroom and low and behold there I was, a little porcelain queen with my pale skin tinged red at the cheek bones and tears clinging to my eyelashes. I could feel the tears collecting, warm and wet, threatening to spill. I'm sure my small frame was shaking as my belly purged itself and although it was ridiculous, I was horribly bothered by how frail and dainty I probably looked as big 'ol brother Tadashi came to check on me.

"Hey, it's alright. I've got you." He assured me as he began approaching intent on comforting me as I puked. "Just let it out."

He hurried over but I held an arm out straight, face still in the toilet, and wordlessly requested he keep his distance. That didn't do a thing though because I felt him take that arm in his hands as he knelt down by me and rubbed it in a comforting manner. I really didn't want him there, but I wasn't in a position to speak and he'd already made his decision. I could feel his worried eyes on me and I ignored them as I shamefully emptied my stomach. Throwing up was not something I did very often, thank god, but when it did happen I was completely miserable. Everything about it was disgusting.

I breathed heavily, almost filled with panic. My stomach settled for a moment and I feared for the next wave of nausea to hit me. When I thought maybe it was over, I was proved horribly wrong. Instantly my gag reflex kicked in again and more came spilling out of me. It was obvious how uncomfortable I was and Tadashi kept trying to comfort me.

"Aww Hiro, you poor thing." he sighed sadly. "I was so worried when you booked it like that. I didn't know you were sick but then I heard you gagging. Are you alright? Is it all out?"

I nodded, coughing as slobber dripped from my mouth. Tadashi really didn't need to be there or see any of it. My mouth tasted awful and I cringed, desperate for some toothpaste. Spitting, I turned my face a little away so Tadashi wouldn't see me. One of his hands released my arm and I could hear toilet paper being unrolled. He handed me a wad of toilet paper and I wiped my mouth clean of any residue or spit.

"I'm calling the restaurant and making a complaint. That chicken was undercooked and you could have food poisoning. That's just neglectful, serving undercooked food. Not to mention the risk for salmonella." Tadashi explained to me somewhat angrily over what had happened due to the restaurant's negligence. "If you get a fever or start having ...other stomach related problems ...you may need a doctor."

Mentally agreeing with Tadashi. I flushed the toilet and stood up on my own. Brushing off Tadashi's hands as he attempted to assist me up while he stood as well, I kept my eyes down. I turned the faucet to run the water then grabbed my toothbrush and globbed it with toothpaste. Trying to scrub away the vile taste in my mouth, I brushed thoroughly. Tadashi watched me worriedly, rubbing a hand over my back while I barely watched his reflection in the mirror

I knew Tadashi wasn't judging me or patronizing with his comforting gestures but I felt really embarrassed. Vomiting is a natural bodily function but it's certainly not something anyone needs an audience for. It ruined our 'moment' and I probably looked terrible. And gross. I felt gross.

"Are you sure you're alright now? Does your stomach hurt?" Tadashi asked me, slipping his hand around me to lay it across my flat abdomen. "Do you need some medicine for your stomach?"

I shook my head no, trying my best not to look aggravated with him. He meant really well. He just didn't know how badly I wanted to crawl under a rock. As uncomfortable as the whole throwing up thing was, after it was all out I felt much better. I couldn't deny that. It would just be nice if I could avoid Tadashi for a while, at least until my pride healed itself... And my asshole. That'd be nice.

"I'm fine, really Dashi..." I assured him, rinsing my mouth out. I bent at the waist to spit in the sink before washing off my mouth. "I feel better. A lot better."

"I hope it stays that way."

In the hand that wasn't wrapped around me, Tadashi already had a small hand towel ready for me when I turned off the water and set my toothbrush back in the cup. I took it from him gratefully and dried my face off. He took the towel back from me and hung it up. I didn't really know what to do so I stood there, looking down at the sink. Then would probably have been a great time to just go back to bed but I couldn't bring myself to leave Tadashi's embrace.

Tadashi definitely knew I was still uncomfortable. He held me loosely, very careful not to press my stomach too roughly. His head leant down, resting it in my hair as his chin brushed my scalp through the long raven locks. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as he gently nuzzled, affectionately trying to assure me it was okay. I didn't feel like standing around and being coddled so I pushed away from him and tried walking past him. I needed to find a rock to crawl under...forever.

"Thanks Dashi...I uh, I'm going to go lie down." I excused myself abruptly, causing Tadashi to reach out for me worriedly as I tried making my leave.

"Wait, are you okay?"

I huffed in childlike annoyance before responding. I almost escaped the awkwardness, almost!

"I already told you, I'm fine now, It was some bad take out." I dismissed Tadashi and made my escape to our bedroom.

Maybe if I acted snarky he would believe I was fine.

Unfortunately, I didn't really think out my escape plan because of course Tadashi followed me there. It was a shared room after all. I hoped with all my being that he wouldn't bring up my jumbled stomach again as he followed me in. I originally intended to just turn off the lights and go back to sleep but I could hear Tadashi rummaging around in his part of the room. The loud thunk of his book bag hit the ground and I assumed he was going to do some homework.

I was ready to at least lie down for the time being so I did. Getting under the covers of my bed I got comfortable despite the light being on in our bedroom. Closing my eyes I rested, not at all expecting to fall asleep anytime soon. My stomach was better but still uneasy. I probably shouldn't have laid on it but being too wiped out to reposition myself I stayed as I was. Tadashi's pen scraped against paper on his side of the room and the sound of pages being turned accompanied it.

Opening my eyes again I realized I must have fallen asleep as I could hear Tadashi putting away his work. The zipper of his book bag zipped shut and he set It down unusually gentle. Had he known I fell asleep? I was either asleep longer than I realized and Tadashi finished his work, or I had fallen asleep for a short while and Tadashi was packing up for now so he could shut off the lights and let me sleep.

I shut my eyes again to try and fall back asleep but I couldn't. My stomach didn't hurt and I wasn't nauseated but my the nap left me drowsy and feeling gross. It seemed that today was just not my day. I wondered what time it was but didn't feel up for checking so I stayed where I was while wishing away the general discomfort I felt. The light in my room shone across my closed eyes, seeping through to my eyelids and making it all the harder to fall back asleep.

Wishing that Tadashi would just turn off the lights proved to be effective because miraculously the glaring light invading my irises through the skin of my eyelids was gone and darkness took over. The lights being turned off helped make me more comfortable but not completely. I was still kind of on the warmer side and I did not like it. Still not willing to move, I dealt with it.

The floorboards creaked just the slightest while Tadashi moved around his side of the room. His desk chair was slid in and I could hear the gentle tink of pencils being placed back in a cup. Papers were shuffled and his book had already been put away hence his book bag being placed on the floor. He definitely finished his work. Surely he was getting ready to sleep after his tidy up.

It was silent for a second and I expected to hear Tadashi getting in his bed but I didn't. Tadashi left the room randomly but didn't close the door behind him. My best guess was he went to watch more T.V, I didn't question it because there wasn't a reason to. In his absence, the room was quiet. And suddenly, I just felt so alone. Opening my eyes to see what was barely still visible before my eyes, I stared off in to space while the sound of passing cars outside came through the window. Letting my eyes fall shut, I wondered what the next day had in store. And I hope with all my being that when I woke up, it hadn't been a dream.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I woke up groggy and lethargic with no one home. The house was so quiet it was actually pretty startling. Aunt Cass wasn't walking around the house nor was my older brother. Trudging along the stairs, I peered around the house. I called out only to get a response from Mochi. He fell off some piece of furniture out of my line of view then slinked his way over.

His eyes were bright and excited and he meowed at me urgently before beginning to walk away. Seeing he was going towards the kitchen, I made the right assumption that he wanted his food dish filled. Except when I opened the cabinet with the cat food, there was note signed by Tadashi that Mochi had already been fed.

"Silly cat. You're not getting fed again." I chided him. "But nice try though."

Mochi pouted and walked away, dissapointed that his plans had been foiled. Standing back up from the low cabinet with Mochi's food, I looked at the fridge in contemplation if I should eat. My stomach was still off and gurgled in protest to the thought of food. I grimaced and got a glass of water instead before making my way to the couch. On my way there I noticed the clock said it was past noon. I had slept the day away, how productive.

I could only assume Aunt Cass was at her friend's house and hadn't left for home yet. Tadashi I already knew was at his lab working on his project. He wouldn't be expected home for hours. I secretly hoped he would come home sooner but didn't hold my breath. But I was eager to see him and confirm to myself that everything we'd done the previous day actually was real. Because although I was awake, everything around me felt so bizarre and foggy. I wasn't feeling too well.

Watching cable I pondered if I should have hit Ricky up to see how he was. On top of not really wanting to do that, or thinking it was a good idea, I was too lethargic. I didn't want to go upstairs and get my phone or boot up my computer. I had no energy at all and wound up falling asleep despite having only been up for hardly an hour. Without any trouble I just dozed off on the couch in front of the T.V.

When I woke up again the T.V was being clicked off. Aunt Cass always turned the T.V off when she caught me dozing on front of it. She liked to remind me in the past the electricty cost money so as I cracked my eyes open I began mumbling an apology.

"Sorry, Aunt Cass... I didn't mean to."

"We can keep this between us."

It was Tadashi, not my aunt. He chuckled at my sleepy voice and came forward to check on me. He smelled like his lab again. As he came in close I heard him make a worried sound.

"Are you feeling okay, Hiro?" He asked me. "You aren't looking too lively."

"I've been sleeping all day. I don't have any energy. I woke up like this today."

Tadashi picked me up carefully, explaining he would putting me in my own bed where I'd be more comfortable. He wanted to take a shower so he set me down in bed and promised to be right back. He sounded so worried but I didn't question it. I just stayed in bed and shut my eyes, Tadashi keeping the lights off for me. As tired as I was, I couldn't just fall asleep again how I wanted to.

Whilst struggling to sleep I was stuck between a drowsy state of consciousness and actually sleeping so I didn't have an accurate perception of time. I had no idea how much time Tadashi was gone but every time I came around I could hear the shower still running. I dozed off once more listening to the water running. When I woke up again the shower was off but I didn't hear Tadashi. It felt as if the room had gotten hotter and now at my breaking point I threw the sheets off myself in annoyance and huffed.

"Hiro? You okay?"

"Eh" I grunted, not at all enthusiastic. "Too warm."

Tadashi's voice caught me off guard but didn't trigger a startle reflex in me. Either I was too tired or I was way too lethargic. It didn't matter either way because if my body didn't cool off I was either going to strip naked or die. Seriously, it was getting warm. I wasn't even sweating, it was just a gradually building heat that felt like was burning from my core. My skin felt like insulation, keeping it all from escaping. Some sweat would have been nice but instead I was filled with a dry intense heat.

I could hear Tadashi toweling off his head as he stood somewhere in his room. The heavy material of the wet towel made a light thump as it was dropped in a hamper. Tadashi must not have been wearing socks because the sound of his feet moving along the floor was louder than usual, his slightly wet skin sticking as he stepped with soft pops.

"Do you feel okay? You've been out for a bit." He asked me, making his way to me.

"How long have I been sleeping this time?" I mumbled, feeling depleted of all energy. "What time is it?"

"It's a little after midnight, Hiro." he told me, reaching a cool hand to rest on my forehead and ignoring my first question. "You said you're too warm? Well your head is kind of hot. Hold on. "

Leaving to fetch a thermometer, Tadashi mumbled something about "aspirin and water". Summoning all my will power, I sat up in bed. It was too hot! It shouldn't be this warm in Spring! I tugged at the collar of my shirt to cool off and took deep breaths. As I woke up I felt a little better, less groggy and gross but still unreasonably hot. When Tadashi came back he flicked on the lights and was surprised to see me sitting up. He had a thermometer, a bottle of aspirin and glass of water in his hands.

"What are you sitting up for?!" he practically scolded. "You're sick!"

I winced from the abrupt loud noise and rolled my eyes after.

"I'm just warm." I reasoned."Not sick."

"Well you haven't been answering your phone today so I think you are sick. Looks like you've been sleeping all day. Have you even eaten?"

I shook my head and Tadashi wasn't surprised, but he was upset. He frowned, his eyes watching me worriedly. Now that he mentioned it, I really had slept the entire day away hadn't I? That was a bit scary.

"I can get you some food after this."

"Tadashi I really don't want any."

"We'll worry that in a bit. For now open your mouth."

He set the water down on my nightstand, along with the bottle of aspirin and unsheathed the thermometer from it's plastic case before soothingly asking me to open up. I let him put the thermometer under my tongue and unintentionally closed my lips around it before Tadashi moved his hand away. Unfortunately the skin of my lips grazed his fingertip, cradling it along the seams of my lips, and in response Tadashi hesitated to move his finger away but did.

"Okay, so let's see..."

Ignoring the incident he watched the thermometer's digital screen flick through numbers as it measured my body temperature, clearing his throat whilst doing so. I pointed to the glass of water on my nightstand, offering it to him wordlessly due to the thermometer in my mouth, and Tadashi shook his head with a laugh.

"That's for you."

The device beeped loudly and Tadashi took it from my mouth, reading the results.

"Ninety nine point seven degrees."

"See? I'm not sick. No fever." I remarked, satisfied with myself. I didn't feel totally well but I had no fever, so that was good enough for me. "It's not one hundred."

Not at all convinced, Tadashi put the thermometer down on the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of aspirin. He opened it and shook out two pills, handing them to me along with the water. There wasn't a point to arguing about aspirin so I just took it, if anything maybe it would help. Tadashi was clearly very happy that I took it without a fight but insisted I drink all the water. So I did. I was thirsty as hell anyways but wasn't going to admit it.

"I'll be fine, Dashi" I assured him, trying to minimize any hysteric worrying he was notorious for. "I'm not even feverish but I took the medicine. I'm fine."

"You're almost there. How's your stomach? You threw up last night, is your stomach okay? I still need to call the restaurant. I didn't do it." He told me as he observed me closely, crouching to keep eye level with me as I sat on the side of my mattress with legs planted on the floor. "Are you nauseous? Head hurt?"

Tadashi seemed ready to go down a list of symptoms I could possibly have but I stopped him before his brotherly nature took over. If I didn't, he would spout out an entire synopsis of symptoms associated with terminal illness. After waking up from the additional nap I felt kind of better, aside from the post nap grogginess, lethargy and such.

" 'Dashi, I'm fine. Seriously, I'm not sick to my stomach or nauseous at all. I'm just too warm... fatigued now mostly. "

" So no stomach discomfort? " He questioned, staring at me seriously. "None at all? If you do it's probably food poisoning."

I shook my head no, feeling a familiar nervousness take over me while Tadashi's brown eyes scrutinized me for any signs of deception. I wasn't lying but I wasn't being totally honest. I didn't feel one hundred percent well but I really wasn't sick at least no horribly. It was nothing I couldn't manage.

"I'm fine, please drop it?" I begged him scooting back on the bed to get comfortable. "I'm dizzy though, I need to lie down again."

Of course Tadashi was worried as I resettled myself in bed to rest. I refused to pull the sheets over me though to avoid boiling internally. I wanted some personal space from Tadashi and wished he would back off a bit, which was very much different than my usual feelings for him. Feeling unwell, to any extent, made my cravings for physical contact evaporate.

"I'll turn off the light for you." he offered, getting up from his crouching stance by my bed as he went to follow through with his promise. "Just a sec."

As I laid in bed with the sheets thrown off, the fabric rumbled and bunched slightly by my ankles, I felt better in terms of fatigue but my skin was still hot. The heat I felt caused me to envision steam fighting to escape my pores as I lay there trapped by my own pajamas and flesh. The lights flicked off and Tadashi walked across to his side of the room where the curtains were pulled back then the window was opened a little to allow air to circulate. I breathed a sigh of relief, waiting for the cooler air to wash over me.

"You're welcome." Tadashi responded walking back towards my bed. "Better?"

"Not yet, I'm still too warm."

"You'll be okay, give it time" he consoled me, pressing his lips to my head. "The aspirin

will do it's thing."

He propped a knee up on the bed behind me, leaning over in the semi darkness. Passing cars in the street casted shadows across the room while they drove by street lamps. Tadashi's large form casted a large shadow in my mind than what it actually did physically. Him simply being there left me feeling as if I were being loomed over.

He laid down behind me and wrapped his arm around me in what was supposed to be a comforting matter. I wasn't going to ask why he was in my bed because I already knew it was because he was worried about me. After what had conspired between us , him being in my bed and that close to me was no longer 'unusual' but still felt somewhat unfamiliar. I didn't comment though and let him stay.

Being that my bed was a twin size, it was small. It fit both and Tadashi and I comfortably but left little spare room. Laying on my side with Tadashi right behind me added to the heat I felt. I didn't necessarily want HIM out of my bed but his body heat was unwelcome at the moment. I struggled with whether to tell him to back off or to just deal with the discomfort.

I shifted in his hold, pulling away a little. My legs moved around the sheets beneath me, desperate for a cool patch of fabric. The body heat from my legs quickly heated up every patch I found though and Tadashi obviously picked up on my restlessness.

"Stop moving, it doesn't help. You should know that."

"Well duh but I'm dying!" I argued, dropping my forehead down on the pillow in defeat. "I'm hot! I don't even have a fever."

"Sometimes the body heats up to fight off any infection, you may not have a fever but it's pretty close. You're probably fighting off bacteria from that gross food." Tadashi explained matter of factly."Just relax, moving makes you hotter."

I tried my best to keep still but my resolve was weak. My skin felt like it was steaming and my core was making it worse. For some reason I wasn't sweating which made it all way worse. At least if I was sweating my body would cool off naturally. Desperate and no longer willing to compromise my comfort for the physical contact Tadashi was giving me, I pulled away and rested myself at the very edge of my side of the bed.

"Hiro?"

"I'm too warm, I think you need to get out." I told him, the words spilling from my mouth as I savored the relief. "Between my clothes and you it's too hot. Something has to go. "

"Why does it have to be me?"

My brain didn't pick up on Tadashi's question until a few seconds later. It also didn't register the question until I felt Tadashi's hands tugging softly at the hem of my nightshirt.

"If you take this off you'll cool off faster."

I didn't fight him as he coaxed me on to my back and reared up on his knees. Leaning down he pulled my shirt off and dropped it on the floor. Of course I felt so much better, the breeze from the window hitting my chest and arms. I savored it, closing my eyes. Tadashi laid back down next to me, resting himself about an inch away from me.

He ran his fingers over the skin of my stomach experimentally, the padded tips warm against my cooling flesh. I could feel his face rested next to mine as he laid on his side again, allowing me to take up more space while I rested on my back. His fingers felt good and overall I was much more comfortable. His breath hit my neck in soft puffs as he breathed calmly, completely relaxed.

"How do you feel?" he asked, resting his hand on my stomach with the palm pressed over my navel. "Better?"

"Better." I confirmed honestly.

"Feel good?" he pressed on, scooting closer to me as he resituated his arm across my waist.

"Mmhm."

Tadashi brought his lips to my neck, a couple of inches below my ear, and kissed gently.

"I'm glad."

I blushed despite my typical demeanor, not expecting such a sweet gesture. The first kiss Tadashi had given me before was... dirtier. He had kissed me on the mouth could taste my semen on him. Now his lips had puckered ever so slightly, kissing me affectionately under my ear as he held me. I was so thankful Tadashi couldn't see my face.

He brought his hand up to my forehead and tested the temperature. Apparently I cooled off because he hummed approvingly.

"You'll be fine for sure."

Tadashi didn't move his lips from the spot on my neck, instead he kept them there as he rested his head. Although my mind didn't think much in to it from feeling vaguely unwell, my body responded differently. The blood flow in my groin picked up, pooling in a compromisable area. Willing it down wouldn't have been such a challenge if Tadashi wasn't so close to my sixteen year old hormonal body.

My older brother didn't know of the problem that he was stirring up and I prayed with every fiber of my being that it stayed that way. As long as he didn't go looking down there it would be fine. I would be horrified if he knew I was building a stiffy from his comforting gestures. As time ticked on I was about half mast and becoming restless, my breathing was harder to control but I managed. Nervous that he would somehow feel my issue, I tried getting him out of my bed as nonchalantly as possible.

"Dashi?" I piped up.

"Hmm?" he hummed leisurely, holding me somewhat lovingly. "What is it, Hiro?"

"Could you move to your own bed?"

He made no move to get up, instead he tightened his hold on me just the smallest bit.

"Why?" he questioned, not sounding the least bit offended.

For a brief moment I mentally panicked, having not previously come up with an excuse such as ' ' 'I'm going to sleep' or 'I'm still too warm' for examples. Tadashi answered his own question with a question though.

"So I don't find out about that hard on you're sporting?"

Somehow the universe always had a way of throwing me curve balls.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly, fully aware of what he'd said, just unsure of how he gathered the information.

Tadashi hadn't been touching anywhere below the waist, his arm was wrapped around my waist far above my groin. How he knew I was hard was completely beyond me. I laid very still, in shock as Tadashi tilted his face up to kiss the top of my cheekbone and delicately dragged the supple flesh of his lips down to the hollows of my cheek.

"You've been breathing a little heavy in case you didn't know, it's very suggestive."

I couldn't help but feel embarrassed all over again. I didn't know what to say so I just didn't say anything. My cheeks burned hotly, especially where my brother's lips were pressed. I turned my face away from him, mortification consuming me completely. I was visibly aroused without any knowledge of it, my guard was never so low. Tadashi's attention was really fucking with me and everything felt different.

"I need to get up, I need to get up right now." I told Tadashi, prying his arm off my body. "Let go. Let go of me right now."

My palms felt moist as I shook with nerves. I wasn't myself today and now it really bothered me. If one day like this with my brother had caused a roller coaster, what would come from this in the long run? No matter which way I tried to look at it, I felt vulnerable and out of control. Subconsciously I was too comfortable, too fast. My guard couldn't go down, not like this. Too much was at risk, this was a dangerous game. What was I thinking? What was he thinking?

Bending over in just my pajama bottoms I searched for my shirt and tried pulling it on but my arms trembled. Tadashi bolted up from my mattress and didn't waste any time trying to get me back in the bed. He swiped for the shirt I was struggling to put on myself but I dragged it down as I avoided his arm. Pure dread filled my stomach, a feeling worse than my previously upset stomach.

"Hiro, come back here. You need to lie down."

As I stepped away in a panic, I tumbled backwards from some miscellaneous object on the floor. My back hit the ground loudly, the impact sounding worse than the actual fall. I sat up unphased and hurried from the room, grabbing my sweatshirt from my desk chair on the way out. I zipped it up as I hurried down the stairs, hearing my brother in a frenzy as he tried getting out of the bed but struggled against the sheets which he got wrapped up in.

I thanked my luck as I saw my flip flops laying by the second set of stairs, slid them on, and rushed from the house. Tadashi had just started making his way down the flight of stairs from our bedroom when I let the front door close behind me. Running down the street I paid no mind to anything around me.

I could hear my name being called behind me but I kept running, needing to distance myself from the house. As I ran down the street I became aware of something in my sweatshirt's pocket hitting my side. Reaching my hand inside I felt it was my wallet. Holding it firmly, I picked up my pace and turned down another street before slowing down.

Stopping briefly, I breathed a heavy puff of air. A cool breeze blew past me, bringing me back down from my mini freak out. Looking up in to the indigo sky it dawned on me how crazy I must have looked bolting out of the house in pajamas. A passing car drove by with it's headlights on, catching my attention as it went down the street I was on. Watching it go, I saw the turn signal light up before it went right and disappeared out of my sight.

Looking over my shoulder, I took in my location and continued on down the street heading in no particular direction. My flip flops smacked the pavement as I walked, scuffing softly. Feeling calmer, but like a complete idiot, I wondered where I could go to kill time before going back home while mentally kicking myself the whole time.

The sound of an engine humming emerged in the distance behind me, nearing closer, as well as a set of headlights. A car stopped behind me and I turned around curiously, holding a hand up to shield my eyes. I couldn't see but I heard a window roll down. It was the same car that had just passed me.

"Can I help you?" I questioned, becoming weary of the potential danger I was putting myself in.

"What the hell are you doing, Hiro?"

"Oh, hey Ricky...I'm just out for a walk."

I answered back, relieved it wasn't a creep. Ricky turned off the headlights, sparing my retinas from further damage. He stuck his head out his window, holding out a hand in a 'What the fuck' sort of gesture.

"Hell of a time for a walk, Kid. Really? You look like you're ready for bed." He deadpanned with a glance to my night time apparel before gesturing to his empty passenger seat. "Just get in. Fucking Crazy."

I stood there, unmoving and Ricky flicked his wrist towards the passenger seat once more

"Dude." He urged. "Get in."

Nodding I walked in front of his car, slowly with hesitation. Ricky purposely leaned on his steering wheel, blaring the fucking horn at me like I was a cow in the street or something. Obviously he scared the crap out of me and once I was in the car I slammed the door shut. Flipping him off, I pulled the seat belt on and he turned the engine back on.

"Big brother has a long leash on you tonight, huh?" Ricky retorted passively. "Where to?"

"I don't know."

I turned his radio on, clicking through the stations. Ricky ran a hand through his brown hair. The glossy brown strands lay cropped with a heavy bang across his forehead and eyebrow. When he turned to look at me it swished, falling out of place.

"Seriously? " he questioned rhetorically. "What are you up to anyways?"

"I just needed some air. I wasn't really going anywhere... I was taking a walk."

I clicked through more stations, disappointed. Ricky slapped my hand away and told me to open the glove compartment for the CD's.

"Do you want a ride back home or somewhere? You shouldn't be out like this alone. For a genius you're fucking dense."

"So I've been told." I agreed, glumly. "Just take me back home I guess. I don't care."

I thumbed through the CD cases uninterestedly, lips turned down in a glum pout. Ricky sighed and plucked one CD case with scribbled writing on the front out of my hands and I took it as hint to put the others back, so I did. The disk went in with a mechanic buzz of CD player but Ricky didn't press play.

"You don't sound thrilled. If you don't want to go home I won't take you home. I don't think you want your brother seeing you pull up with me anyways." Ricky observed, clearly bitter about the second bit. "I just don't want to leave you out here alone... so where are we going?"

"You choose, I don't care."

Nodding, he accepted my choice. Not wanting to talk anymore, I sat silently as Ricky drove us to wherever. He drove downtown, stopping at a gas station. He parked the car and opened the door to get out and pump gas. I sat there idly for a couple minutes when an advertisement caught my attention on the store window and I unbuckled my seat belt to get out too.

"I'm almost done" Ricky told me, holding the gas nozzle to his car.

" I'm just going to the store. I'll be right back."

A bell chimed as I entered the small store. The tired clerk waved to me with two fingers from his place at the counter. Nodding, I greeted him back.

"Anything I can help you with?" He offered. "Need anything?"

"Yeah actually... I saw an advertisement in the window for ice cream. Where's the freezer?"

The older gentleman smiled some and pointed towards the back of the store. I wandered back there and someone else entered the store as I looked through the ice cream. Deciding on a strawberry shortcake bar I shut the freezer, my empty stomach was starting to gurgle and such. But even with hunger pains surfacing I knew there wasn't much I could really eat yet. Noticing a display of colorful soda in glass bottles, I grabbed a red one and made my way back to the front. Hopefully the carbonation would help if I needed it.

Ricky was who came in and he stood at the counter getting cigarettes as I set my stuff down to pay after him. The older clerk smiled at me and Ricky glanced over to see what I was buying.

"Of course." he commented, somewhat amused. "You would."

"Jerk." I jabbed back, "Don't judge me."

The clerk chuckled, scanning Ricky's cigarettes who then took them back and opened the carton.

"Nothing wrong with something sweet, sonny." The clerk assured me kindly, as Ricky placed an unlit cig in his mouth. "Better those than that."

Ricky slid over my soda and ice cream to the clerk to scan as well. I was going to insist he not when Ricky took the cigarette from his mouth and spoke up.

"He's sweet as is, he doesn't need sugar."

The clerk snorted in laughter and I chuckled uncomfortably as Ricky paid for the items. Following him out, I wondered what the hell his deal was with the random comment. He didn't bring it up as we got in the car so I didn't either. Unwrapping my ice cream, I took a bite, wondering where the hell he was going to take me along to. Sick of the quiet car, I leaned over and pressed 'play' on the CD player as Ricky smoked a cigarette.

An angsty male singer sang suggestively over the speakers and I quickly regretted my actions. Leaving the radio on, I prayed we would arrive soon. Ricky surprised me when he pulled up to the beach. Parking his car by the sand, he turned off the engine and reclined his chair a few degrees as he leisurely smoked. No one was in sight, just the heavy crash of the waves.

Eating my ice cream in awkward silence, I paid no mind to Ricky as he puffed on his cancer stick. Soon enough he flicked the bud out the open window, exhaling the smoke from his last drag. He looked over at me curiously and I felt uncomfortable all over again. Pretending not to see him from the corner of my eye, I kept eating. Suddenly feeling like I should have taken my chances walking back home, I regretted coming with Ricky.

"So..." He trailed off carefully. "We gonna talk about what happened at your house?"

"Look, I'm sorry Tadashi kicked you out, if you're mad I get it."

"I don't care about that, man. Not really in the way you think I do, anyways."

Unsure of what to take from what he said, I glanced up from my ice cream. Ricky was watching me, casual as could be.

"You're not mad he kicked you out?" I asked.

"Angry? Nah. More miffed at you to be honest."

Ricky's eyes focused on my face, the green irises dark and unspeckled. He blinked a couple times, not offering further explanation. Anxious, I avoided eye contact.

"Hey, I didn't ask for a ride. You kind of forced me... I would have walked around."

"Not that, Hiro." He corrected, scoffing. "I swear to God you're fucking naïve."

He dug in his pocket for another cigarette, pulling out the pack in an aggressive manner. Lighting it he sucked deeply, holding the smoke until he released it slowly through his nose. Taking the last bite of my ice cream, I stuck the stick in the wrapper and put it in my pocket.

"Look, I'll just leave. I can find another way home. My brother is probably freaking out right now..." I tried excusing myself and opened my door but Ricky leaned over and shut it.

"Your brother will live. We need to talk. "

For some reason my brain assumed the absolute worst of him and I tensed. Ricky took a long drag, flicking the ashes out the window, before turning his attention on me again. I anticipated what he would say next, swallowing heavily. The beat up fabric of his car seats suddenly felt like I was sitting on nails and I pondered how far I would get if I booked it from the car right then.

"What the hell happened yesterday?" He demanded, his voice level and lacking aggression now.

"At my house?"

"In your bedroom."

Tadashi was the first to come to my mind. I could vividly see his head in my lap, bobbing up and down with mouthfuls of my cock as I held my breath. Ricky waited for me to say something, but I didn't. I knew he wanted to know why I rejected him earlier, but my guilty conscious thought he knew more than he actually did...like how Tadashi looked between my legs swollen and ready to blow.

"Hiro?" Ricky pressed.

Without giving him an answer, I coughed to clear my throat and looked out the window. The silence ate up the space between us, only the smoke from Ricky's cigarette adding to the barrier. Beyond my comfort zone with the situation, I tried getting out of the car again but Ricky grabbed my arm before I managed to get the door handle. The quickness of his reflexes led me to believe he'd been staring at me as I'd been looking away.

"You don't have to be in the closet forever, man... what are you so evasive for? Just talk to me. Jeez." Ricky sighed, sucking in more smoke as his hand kept me from escaping. "You act like you have something to hide all the time. Talk to me."

If only he knew... if only Tadashi didn't.

"Come on, relax. It's just us."

Ricky's jeans scratched against the fabric of his seat as he leaned over to me and pushed my face towards him with his free hand. Smoke billowed towards my face from his lit cigarette, floating in the air between us. Looking at him, he seemed more frustrated than angry. His thumb pressed in to my chin as he stared at me.

"You're different, Hiro... you always have been. I really like that."

When he tried kissing me again I coughed heavily from a gust of second hand smoke that I inhaled accidentally. Startled by the advance, I sucked in a breath resulting in the pollution of my airways. Without missing a beat, Ricky chucked the unfinished cig out the window behind him and rubbed a soothing palm over the material of my sweatshirt.

I coughed harshly, my eyes watering. He unzipped my sweatshirt down to my ribcage. Slipping his hand in, he rubbed across my chest over my T-Shirt until I caught my breath again. Stray tears leaked on to my cheekbones from the ordeal and my sinuses burned the slightest bit but otherwise I was fine. I peeked up at Ricky in an apologetic manner and he smirked, presumably at my 'innocence'.

His lips touched mine and he continued rubbing circles in to my chest. I cringed from his familiar taste of tobacco but didn't pull away. I wanted this contact to click and feel right. I wanted it to feel better than my brother. I let him play with my mouth without responding until I tried reciprocating the action.

When I slipped my tongue forward to Ricky he groaned softly, putting his other hand in my hair to keep me close to him. The kiss felt nice but there was no spark... no temptation. I couldn't bring myself to back out and Ricky continued. My sweatshirt was undone the rest of the way then pulled off me. Hands slid under my shirt from behind, rubbing my shoulder blades.

"I knew it." he mumbled against my mouth. "I fucking knew it."

His hand dipped down out of my shirt to palm my ass and he squeezed appreciatively at the small handful. Despite my lack of participation, I was starting to get hard. I couldn't hide it as Ricky pulled away and clicked my seat to recline flat. He saw the lump and his gaze zeroed in on it. Hand on my thigh, he prepared to pounce.

"Want me to take care of that?" he offered willingly, inching his fingers up my inner thigh to where my problem was. "Because I would love to."

I couldn't speak. My body and mind were on two different wavelengths. Tadashi set off this carnal desire for physical contact inside me, but my mind wasn't responding to Ricky. My body wanted satisfaction but I couldn't make the connection mentally with the nineteen year old salivating over my crotch. His fingers played with the strings to my pajama bottoms, twisting them in his fingers with an antsy hand.

When he tried pulling my pajama pants down I came back to life and pushed his hands away with a loud "No". Ricky froze, almost horrified, and looked up at my flustered face. I was terrified he was going to be pissed but he laughed quietly and squeezed my knee playfully.

"Maybe your first time shouldn't be in my dingy car, no worries. I can wait." He assured me, crawling up to my ear. "Virgins are worth it."

I couldn't mentally handle what had just taken place. I trembled as Ricky backed off and settled back in to the driver's side. He turned the key and the car started up. Fixing my seat, I set it back up straight and buckled in as Ricky pulled away from the beach. His hand rested on my knee again, holding it in what was supposed to be a flirtatious manner. Ricky really didn't know much about me, not as much as he thought he knew anyways.

We didn't talk on the drive back. When he pulled up to my street I spoke up, making him stop a few houses down from where I lived. Tadashi wasn't going to be happy with me running off while 'sick'. I didn't wanna rub salt in any wounds by showing up with Ricky. I also didn't want a lecture. Another lecture...

The car slowed down and came to a stop and Ricky looked at me expectantly. As if I had something important to say. I didn't have anything of importance to say, I just wanted out. Scratching my arm I fidgeted side to side before mumbling out an explanation.

"Thanks Ricky... here is fine."

"Okay then, well I'll see you around huh?" he asked, kissing me on the lips. " Don't be a stranger, Hiro."

"...yeah."

I got out of the car, grabbing my sweatshirt, and started walking when Ricky called out to me.

"Hiro."

Turning around, I saw him holding my soda from the gas station. He held it out the window for me, grinning. Of course I'd forget something. I walked back and took it from him, waving him off in to the night. The distance from where I stood and where I lived were not far enough. Bracing myself for whatever was going to happen, I approached the front door. To my great disadvantage, it was locked. And of course I hadn't grabbed my keys on the way out!

My options were doorbell, risking waking Tadashi if he was even asleep. Or sneak in another way and hope he isn't awake. I decided to take my chances and sneak in through the garage. The door would make too much noise, so I opted for the window on the side of the garage instead. Thankfully it was unlocked so I slid it up and jumped on to the window ledge. It dug in to my stomach as I tried getting inside.

Grunting, I placed my palm on the wall below me and steadied myself to set my glass bottle of soda on the floor. I pushed myself forward to delodge myself from the windowsill but I pushed myself too far and fell in to the garage, falling on to the hard concrete floor. I didn't hear any movement from anywhere in the house, but then again how would I hear if someone on the complete other side of the house got up? They were more likely to hear me.

Hoping my entrance had gone undetected, I got up and tried finding my way in the dark. The garage was nearly pitch black but not hazardous. Just where Tadashi and I stored our experiments and projects. Many of which weren't properly put away. I learned my lesson, however, when I one of said projects tripped me in the dark and I hit my chin on the way down to the ground.

"Fucking ow! Stupid piece of-" I muttered, rubbing my face but was cut off by the sound of something inflating.

The whirring noise of air filling something got louder until it abruptly stopped. Light glowed behind me and I saw Tadashi's robotic nurse standing behind me, light emitting through his body.

"Hello. I am Baymax, your personal health care companion. I was alerted to the need for medical attention when you said 'ow'. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

Fucking hell. That was my emotional pain.

"Baymax, I'm fine! Shush! Keep it down." I whispered urgently from my place on the floor, hoping he hadn't drawn Tadashi's attention from where ever he was in the house. "Don't-"

Luck was no longer on my side as I heard footsteps approaching the door and it was too late to hide. The garage door connect to the house swung open and Tadashi saw me and Baymax in plain sight. He looked down from Baymax to me and shook his head. I was really in for it now...

He flicked the light on to the garage and walked towards me. Crouching down he helped me up but not without giving me his classic brotherly scowl. I braced myself for yelling but I was tugged in to his chest instead. His night shirt smelled like laundry detergent and him, it was amazing. I didn't want the bliss to end.

"Hiro has suffered injury from a minor fall. His chin has no abrasion but may bruise in time. I suggest ice or a cold pack."

Leave it to Baymax, naturally.

"What the hell were you up to?" Tadashi scolded me immediately after, looking down at my chin and rubbing it with his finger but I hissed in discomfort. "What did you do? Don't run off on me like that, especially when you're sick! Are you crazy?"

"I'm sorry Tadashi-" I tried apologizing but he wasn't listening. I chose to ignore that he said I was sick. I felt fine then.

He held me tightly, unwilling to let go. His biceps circled my torso like a noose and he was rocking me back and force as if I had caused him all the anguish in the world... which I most likely did. He had always been super protective of me. His hug was the most welcoming contact I'd felt all night, and I returned it.

"You've been acting so strange, are you okay?" Tadashi questioned, squeezing me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just went for a walk. It helps with my pubescent mood swings..."

Baymax stood there staring at us and Tadashi chuckled, tapping me on the back. I alerted the robot to my satisfaction with my care and he nodded and returned to his station. I didn't want to let go, so I didn't. Tadashi nuzzled my head and pulled away to guide me back to the house. Clicking the garage light off, he shut the door too.

I followed him upstairs and chucked my sweatshirt on my chair again, flicking my flip flops off near it. The clock said '2:12' as I laid back in my bed, my exhaustion catching up with me. Tadashi insisted on taking my temperature one more time and I let hit without a fight. Having it come out to '98.7 F' got him off my back about being sick and he set the thermometer down on my nightstand.

I really expected him to climb in to my bed with me but he turned off the lights and returned to his side of the room. It threw me off completely and I called out to him through the darkness.

"Tadashi?"

"Hm?" He answered back, casually and light hearted as if nothing haywire had taken place in the last two hours. "What is it, Hiro? You okay?"

"Yeah, just why are you over there?"

"Aunt Cass comes home later on today... I know I'm sleeping in to tomorrow so better safe than sorry."

When he finally backed off, I wanted him back. I didn't say so though. I hummed in acceptance. I told Tadashi goodnight, and rolled over to go to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow would be a little less chaotic... hopefully Aunt Cass wouldn't catch wind of anything going on behind closed doors.


	5. Chapter 5

Nails scraping my bed sheets woke me up and I sat up in confusion. I had no clue what was going on until looking down and seeing Mochi paw at the sheets covering my feet. The heavy set feline tried pulling itself up but his body wouldn't allow for that. So in an attempt to climb the bed sheets, he ended up falling with them stuck to his claws instead.

The loud thud that hit the floor was more than hilarious and I laughed not at all peeved that Mochi woke me up. Getting up to help detangle the big guy, I set him free of the sheets then picked him up to put him where he originally was trying to go. Mochi made himself comfortable and I happened to glance towards Tadashi's side of the room to see him missing. Checking the time revealed it was almost eleven so naturally he was already up somewhere in the house.

Tadashi's definition of 'sleeping in' was staying in bed until about ten thirty... I could easily sleep until noon, clearly. Placing the sheets back on my bed over Mochi, I sought out the bathroom. After doing what I had to do, I washed my hands and spotted Tadashi's razor on the counter top by the faucet. Seeing it made me reflexively look at myself in the mirror, scrutinizing my lack of facial hair. Sixteen years old and smooth as girl, ridiculous.

I couldn't picture myself with facial hair, not that I really wanted it, but the lack of it just bothered me. Being intellectually advanced put me far ahead of Tadashi in terms of development but when it came to normal progressions such as puberty, older brother had me beat. Reaching pubescent and social milestones left me behind Tadashi and it constantly seemed it would stay that way. My body was a mess of all sorts, my pride not far behind it.

When looking at myself I could clearly see I wasn't a child, it would be foolish for me to really think I looked like one. But when comparing my sixteen year old self to a twenty year old sibling, it was easy to get carried away. I wasn't on the higher end of the growth curve, I never was. It was really common for people to mistake me for fourteen years old when first seeing me and I wished that I would hit another growth spurt soon.

Shutting off the faucet, I glared at Tadashi's razor in childish spite before brushing my teeth and leaving the bathroom. The house was quiet and I peered in to the kitchen looking for signs of life but there were none. Aunt Cass was supposed to be home from her night out yesterday but her loud, joyful activity couldn't be heard anywhere. Silence was not normal unless I was home alone.

The Café was closed so she couldn't be down there, and if she were outside doing gardening her voice would carry through the windows like always as she sang. The lack of human life around me was extremely weird and I tried my damn best to figure out where everybody was. Saturday morning wasn't a vacant house time.

"Aunt Cass isn't home yet."

Tadashi waltzed in, dressed and showered for the day. He smiled as I turned to look at him, eyeing my head of messy hair which stuck out haphazardly from my scalp. I tried brushing it down with my fingers but it only helped so much. He had his tablet in his hand, setting it down on the kitchen counter. It dawned on me he had been reading quietly in the den.

"Oh...is she still out?" I asked calmly, figuring nothing bad had happened if Tadashi was so casual about it. "She's usually back by now."

"She called twenty minutes ago, she's coming back tonight. Her and Karen are hitting the flea market."

It was really weird for aunt Cass not to come home after a night out with Karen. She always came home the morning after because Karen normally had to work. It was possible Karen called out sick from a hangover but I was beginning to wonder if it had really been Karen that Aunt Cass went out with nights prior.

"I'm not so sure Aunt Cass went out with Karen yesterday but whatever. She'll be back from her boyfriend's house tonight, got it."

"It's not our business anyways" Tadashi commented, leaning against the wall as I opened the pantry in search of a Pop-Tart. " But yes, she'll be home tonight. At nine."

Nine at night was kind of late but it wasn't like I relied on Aunt Cass for meals so I didn't care. I'd eat junk food if nothing was set in front of me. But the way Tadashi said 'at nine' caught my attention very quickly. Box of poptarts within reach, I questioned him.

"Nine? That's kind of late, isn't it?"

"Sure is."

The box of breakfast treats I was trying to grab were poked back a few inches on the high shelf where I now could not remotely reach them. I glared at Tadashi, pointing at the poptart box that he purposely moved out of my reach. Puberty always managed to fuck me, I really needed to grow more.

"I'm hungry." I deadpanned, "You mind?"

"Those aren't breakfast, I keep telling Aunt Cass to stop buying you those. They're just empty calories and sugar."

"Like the woman who runs a café filled with doughnuts and scones really cares whether my breakfast is too sugary. All she does is serve sugary breakfast, a pop tart isn't much different, Bro." I argued to Tadashi, coyly taking satisfaction in the fact Aunt Cass still catered to my sweet tooth. " Besides, I get what I want cuz I'm the youngest. Remember? As the older sibling you simply wouldn't understand. Now if you don't mind, I'm starving."

Tadashi was against giving me the sugary breakfast, refusing to hand them to me. I threatened to call Aunt Cass in a mockingly childish tone but we both laughed it off. Trying to grab the box again, I tried hopping to grab it and wasn't prepared for the bicep that curled around my ribcage and pulled me away. I was set down away from the pantry and Tadashi shut it.

"Look, do me a favor and go take a shower. I'll make you lunch instead of giving you that crap. It'll be ready when you're out."

" You're really gonna go this route?"

"I'd feel better if you ate something substantial, especially after your little stomach bug the other night." He sighed worriedly, insisting I do as I was told. " You didn't eat much that day and on top of that you threw it up right after. You didn't eat yesterday either. It's almost lunch time so you missed a meal today already. Take a shower and I'll make you something."

Throwing my head back in slight exasperation over my brother's protective behavior, I held my hands up in surrender and marched off upstairs to the bathroom. I would've been fine with a poptart but if he wanted to make me something better I wasn't going to complain. Taking a fresh towel from the linen closet, I placed it on the sink counter and began undressing.

For the second time that morning my reflection had a bone to pick with me. I looked at myself shirtless, seeing the exact same person I'd seen the other night, except without the post sexual indicators such as flushed skin, sweaty hair and semen across my belly. I mentally tried placing myself in a third person view, remembering the events of yesterday. I watched what I believed I looked like being taken by my brother and felt totally insecure.

My short skinny body being sprawled about as he did what he wanted to me, making me release in virginal convulsions. He bent me over, touched me, sucked me and fucked me, all while taking in everything. From my imaginative perspective, I looked ridiculous while all of it took place. I wouldn't have been surprised if at any point Tadashi wished I was filled out more like him and not like myself.

The bathroom door clicked as if something pushed on it and I flinched as if somebody were going to come in and see me in my underwear. I probably looked even younger than I already was with tight white underwear on and I didn't want to be seen in them.

" Dashi?" I called out, nervously only to hear Mochi meow and bump the door. "Silly cat."

I opened the shower curtain and turned the water on, reaching my hand in to see if the water was warm yet. It gradually shifted from frigid to warm and I stepped back. Dropping my underwear I stepped in and almost slipped as the bathroom door rattled again. This time, it opened.

"Hiro?" He asked, peaking in. "You call me?"

I reflexively hurried to get in the shower and tugged the curtains closed as to not be see me naked. Peaking my head out, I'm positive I looked like someone who'd just been caught naked anyways.

"Knock!" I berated him, acting as if he hadn't seen any of it before. "I'm naked!"

I full heartedly expected Tadashi to laugh at my reaction but he crossed his arms on his chest and looked at me beguiled. My nude insecurity was uncalled for and he wasn't going to let that go unaccessed. So, with one brow raised in true curiosity he challenged me.

"And? "

I couldn't come up with an argument, knowing very well what his was going to be. He watched me struggle with it, smiling with an almost plotting expression. It didn't take being a genius to figure out he was going to mess with me. He held eye contact with me and I struggled with whether I should take my chances and retreat behind the curtain or if I should stay alert and watch until he left. My brother wasn't as predictable as he once was.

" Aren't you supposed to be doing something? Like downstairs?"

Tadashi's eyes flickered to the shower curtain and he leaned off the wall as if going to approach. He stopped himself, stood up straight, gave me one last look and left me to shower in peace, but not before tossing me some advice.

" Don't take long. "

The stairs creaked under Tadashi's weight as he strode back to the kitchen and I bit the inside of my cheek. I didn't know whether to talk to him directly about what happened between us or go along with it. I didn't need a blatant explanation that Tadashi was somehow interested in me, but a confirmation of what he intended to do about it would be appreciated. I mulled over it as I washed up, aware that I had a phantom pair of hands on my body. I could feel Tadashi's hands on me, it was so hard to deny I missed them already.

I could never picture myself instigating anything between Tadashi and I, the action seemingly more taboo than incest itself to me. Getting over the embarrassment of my over analyzed body, I began feeling the start of arousal. Years of jacking off in the shower conditioned me to a routine, and it was being throw off. Having more vivid experiences to think about made me want to touch myself but I couldn't.

A part of me knew if I did it, Tadashi would come back questioning why I was taking so long. Another part of me didn't know of masterbating would offend Tadashi now that he... claimed me? Of course if I did it quickly he wouldn't know, but I didn't want to try. Something about it just felt wrong.

Choosing to do as I was expected, I showered quickly. When finished, I left the bathroom and listened for footsteps. Tadashi was still downstairs and I tiptoed up the stairs to our room. Getting dressed became a more complicated process as I originally picked up a pair of sweat pants to wear in the house but then second guessed myself. Tadashi knew me my whole life, he didn't care what I wore around the house. Still, I worried he'd think I was being sloppy... never in my past did I ever worry about what I wore with my brother around. He was my brother.

If I put on the crappy sweats I'd be self conscious for no reason. Not wanting to visibly look troubled over something while downstairs, I chose to wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt but put on a really casual one. The red material fit me loosely, the cuffs falling under my elbows. If I suddenly began wearing nicer things I would definitely be questioned about it, or teased. Not wanting any extra attention for my appearance, I put on the clothes with subconscious hopes that I looked a little nicer than usual without it going totally unnoticed.

When my brother didn't comment on my appearance I felt more at ease but hoped he still appreciated the change. More than once he told me my old sweats were suited for work inside the garage and nothing else, so surely the different clothing had to be noticed. What I was wearing wasn't anything special but it was better than the old sweats I wore on my lazy days. If I were to be a little more honest with myself, I'd realize I was quite preoccupied with how I looked. Unhealthily so.

I was more than happy though to smell sunflower seed butter and banana when dropping down in to a chair at the table. Tadashi winked knowingly, flipping the sandwich on the griddle. The butter on the bread fizzed along the black heated surface, toasting my sandwich to perfection as Tadashi could only do. Using the spatula, he moved it to a plate and cut the sandwich in half carefully and served it to me with a glass of milk.

"Careful with the butter, it's runny and you already took a shower you knucklehead." He pinched my chin prior to sitting across from me with his tablet propped up in his hand.

I wasted no time biting in to grilled sandwich. Tadashi never over cooked them, unlike aunt Cass who meant well but didn't have the science down to make them for me. Although picky, I'd always eat the ones Aunt Cass made but she knew they weren't one hundred percent to my liking. The ones my brother made were perfection, I could easily eat two if he made me them.

"Better than a pop tart?" he joked, the question being rhetorical. "Big brother knows best."

I grinned sheepishly, slowing my chewing down. It became a lot harder to swallow when Tadash's brown eyes were watching me from over the edge of his tablet. Less than half way through my sandwich and I needed a drink badly. I picked up the milk, knocking back half the glass in order to wash down the sticky sunflower seed butter. I set the half empty glass back down and Tadashi got up to get the milk carton.

" Tadashi, it's fine. You don't have to-"

When he brought it back to the table, he refilled my glass and bent over to face me at eye level. I knew my eyes were wide as saucers, I knew because he surprised me with his intrusion of my personal space. Terrified of how stupid I probably looked, I swallowed and averted my eyes.

"You worry too much." he chuckled, putting his fingers alongside my jawline. "Don't stress the small stuff."

He didn't leave it at that, much to my unsuspecting self. I assumed he would pull away and leave me to my lunch, but he didn't. The fingers on my face tapped in alternating motions, their owner's face preoccupied with my mouth. Brown irises darted up to meet mine and I forgot how to breathe when Tadashi flashed me a pearly white smile.

His mouth neared mine and I could smell whatever coffee he'd been drinking earlier, very very faint wafts of hazelnut. The smell was fleeting but still detectable when close enough. Tadashi paused before our lips touched and he chortled for a moment. My inner critic screamed at me, worrying Tadashi would pull away and tell me it was all just a joke. I was seconds away from getting up from the table and running but Tadashi smiled widely again.

"What is it?" I demanded, holding back the fearful and borderline sad tone of my voice. "...What's so funny?"

"You reek of the sunflower seed butter" he explained, catching my uneasiness. "Don't worry, I'll take responsibility for that."

His genuine amusement put me at ease enough to breathe correctly. He brushed his lips against mine, softly like the brush of a feather, and stood up straight to return the milk to the fridge. I ate my lunch feeling as if someone had given me bad news and then taken it back. The moments I spent scared that Tadashi was playing a joke on me were far more intense than I was prepared for.

It was of course obvious to me now he was never at any point playing a prank, but my mind wasn't as sharp as I'd prefer it to be. I wished I had the nerve to say something and put my anxiety to rest but I couldn't muster up the courage.

After eating, I thanked Tadashi for the food and excused myself to play video games. The console sat connected to the living room T.V and I took my place on the floor by the couch to play. Something had to calm me down or I'd probably flee from the house again. Stress and me did not mix. I missed the serenity I felt in Tadashi's arms the previous night after coming back home.

I chose to play a racing game I'd been in to for a couple weeks, grateful for the time alone. I wasn't against having Tadashi around but something had to give or I'd be an even bigger mess. Immersed in the game, I was pulled from it for a moment as I heard the sound of couch cushions sinking under someone's weight. I didn't greet him, focusing on the task at hand.

My kart was lagging behind in third place as I tried to gain the upper hand in the game. Tadashi's socked foot poked me every so often, his toes nudging my hip. The action was far more distracting than he probably realized but I let it go and kept trying. My efforts aside, I ended up being pushed back to fifth place, the finish line only one lap away.

Tadashi's foot stopped it's poking for a few brief moments and I maneuvered my way back to third, plowing by other drivers. By the time I reached second place, it was too late because the kart in first place already crossed the line. Groaning I looked at my brother unamused and hit his knee with an open palm.

"That was your fault." I accused, grumbling as I started an entire new race. "I want to break my record."

My smack to his knee was passive aggressive to say the least. I didn't really hit him because of the videogame. I saw the opportunity and I took it.

"You've been stuck on that track for weeks, don't blame me."

The new race started and I tried again, focusing hard, but Tadashi liked to push my buttons. His toe nudged me again and I swatted it away frantically while still moving the joystick.

"Quit it, or else!" I threatened, tensing up as Tadashi slid down from the couch on to the floor behind me, legs spread art to trap me to him from behind.

"Or else what? You going to tell Aunt Cass? Well she's not here, is she?" He taunted me confidently blowing a puff of air in to my ear. "And she won't be home for a long time. "

He held me by the midsection in hug as I played. I really would have preferred his little foot nudging. I still tried my best to play, barely managing to concentrate. He really fucked with me when a hand slid down to my thigh.

" Tadashi..."

"Mmhm?" He answered me, moving his hand up to pop open my jean.

I tightened my chest , lurching forward an couple inches as he zipped me down. His fingers dug in and pulled my hardening bulge out from the confines of my jeans, my flesh still covered by my boxers.

"Tadashi" I repeated, as he fondled me. "I'm trying to-"

" Go ahead. "

"I can't!"

Tadashi saw the easiest solution to be taking away the game controller. He grabbed it, paused the game, and slid it across the floor to the console out of my reach. When the hand in my pants tried releasing me from the confines of my boxers I yipped and wriggled away. In a hurry to get up, I didn't take in to consideration my surroundings. I banged my knee on the coffee table and cursed, almost crashing to the floor along with a photo frame which Aunt Cass had on said piece of furniture.

Catching me, Tadashi kept me balanced with his arm. I held my banged knee, grunting as I tapped it to will away the pain. It left as quickly as it came, offering immediate relief. I didn't want to look up at Tadashi after behaving like a spazz so I stepped away quietly, taking a much needed deep breath. I bent down to pick up the photo frame and turned it over, inspecting the cracked glass.

The crack in the glass spread across the young faces of my older brother and I, ten year old Tadashi helping a five year old me with a robot action figure were blemished with a spider web patterned crack. I stared at the picture, transfixed as I laid it down back on the coffee table where Aunt Cass would find it.

"Are you okay?"

"What are you doing?" I asked him, tucking myself away and buttoning my jeans.

The question hit Tadashi as straightforward and lacking significant meaning. He hugged me from behind once more and craned his head down to kiss my cheek, affectionately whispering to me as I denied his access to my mouth.

" I'm picking up where we left off"

"No, Tadashi. What are you doing?" I repeated myself, putting more steel behind my voice to emphasize.

He stayed quiet, refusing to let me go as he nuzzled where his lips rested. My jaw locked as I waited for his answer, surprised I had called him out on what ate at me for the previous day and half. I was hopeful to hear him tell me something, anything, so long as it explained his actions. When he said nothing, I got angry and tried ripping myself away. Tadashi wouldn't let me go, using his weight as an anchor while pulling back against my attempted escape. His palms were hot on my forearm, branding the squeezed flesh red.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Tadashi wanted to know, evidently confused to why I was trying to run. "Why are you acting like this? Don't run from me again."

I didn't listen and pulled away harder, making Tadashi almost lose his grip on me. His socks slid across the polished floor, increasingly losing traction as he slid with my movement. He couldn't calm me down and I wanted nothing to do with him, effectively flipping on a dime. My brother slipped when I tugged especially hard and fell, taking me down with him. I was pinned to the floor, hands above my head and his knees trapping my legs.

"What's going on with you?" Tadashi chastised, flexing his biceps as his muscles used all their force to keep my fighting body pinned. "You're scaring the crap out of me."

I didn't look him in the eye and my eyes wandered to the photos on the walls. Framed pictures of Aunt Cass and us scattered the entire room, shining the inevitable truth down upon me like a heavy rain. I stopped fighting Tadashi and whimpered, feeling scared of what we started. Facing Tadashi, I looked to his worried eyes.

The man I obsessed over, and lusted after for years, was holding me down with frightened eyes. The man who took my virginity and treated it as nothing from the norm, looked at me without the brotherly glint in his eye. His stare was meaningful, and passionate, begging me to cut him a break. He wasn't looking at me like I was his brother, he was looking at me how I'd spent previous years secretly looking at him. Long, anguished years.

"This is so fucked up." I whispered, feeling fluid swelling at my tear ducts. "What are we doing?"

No tears fell from Tadashi's eyes as he watched me from above. His eyes became tender with understanding and he rested his body on to mine, releasing my hands. His hands rested under my skull, cushioning it from the hardwood floor, and held it in place without and slack in his grip.

"Oh, Hiro..."he murmured to me, " You're ashamed , aren't you?"

I didn't have the heart to reply, not wanting to hurt Tadashi's feelings. He already knew though and kissed my cheekbone where a stray tear leaked, shushing away my surfacing whimpers. I didn't know how he was so calm or collected about all of this, it baffled me extremely.

"Rules can't change what we want but they'll definitely guilt you pretty good, huh?" he commented, looking at me with mirrored understanding. " I've got you. Don't stress the small stuff."


	6. Chapter 6

To say I felt like a complete baby was an understatement. I cried, my face turned away from Tadashi as he held me to the ground. Growing up with a romantic interest in my older brother was horrible. I lived with the idea for years that one day I would just get over it and live a normal sexual life once puberty blew over. That expectation came crashing down fully as I replayed the previous two days in my head, reflecting on the years that led up to it.

For so long I spent all my time immersed in electronics and my brother since I was never kept with kids my own age for very long. Graduating high school when I should have been in eighth grade paved a very lonely and isolated path after exiting the public school system. I wasn't around kids my own age after getting out of school and when I was in school people hardly spoke to me, such misfortune left me unable to relate to those my age or even interact with them.

Ricky was cool when I met him in the bot fighting scene after graduation. Three years older than me wasn't a horrible age gap but being fourteen at the time with a promiscuous seventeen year old hanging around was frowned upon by Tadashi. The time I should have spent expelling my sexual energy with another teenager was mostly spent cooped up in my room with a computer and my older brother keeping tabs on my location. Ricky laid low until I turned sixteen.

Up until meeting Ricky, Tadashi was the only one to pay any attention to me. At the age of fourteen and fifteen I knew the intrusive thoughts about my brother were horrible, and I tried willing them away as nothing. But when they began manifesting themselves in my subconscious as wet, sexual dreams I knew it was too late. I still told myself it wasn't though.

Laying underneath him with tears spilling from my eyes I couldn't help but wonder if maybe fate played out differently, I wouldn't have been in the situation I was in. Being smarter than my peers seemed to have doomed me in a way because when I thought about it, if I went through school without being bumped up grades so frequently maybe I would have been less attached to Tadashi. When puberty came knocking the only one constantly around was my brother.

And that was my downfall.

"Hiro, why are you still crying?" Tadashi asked me, letting his hold on me go to wipe away the tears. " Everything Is okay, don't cry."

"Everything isn't okay!" I sobbed, pushing his hands away from my face. " We're brothers. We can't do this."

Tadashi got off me and bent down to pick me up despite my fighting. I pushed him away as he tried getting his arms under me but he ignored my struggling and hoisted me off the ground. He held me bridal style, my face bent down helplessly as he carried me away.

"Let me down!" I begged, tear streaked face in the collar of his shirt for comfort as I insisted he leave me be. "Please..."

My request was disregarded as he hugged me closer to him, climbing the stairs up from the living room. We passed by the bathroom and he took the stairs up to our room. Inside, he closed the door behind us and he carried me to my bed. He laid me down on the sheets gently and sat down behind me, rubbing a hand through my long cropped hair.

"Why did you bring me up here?" I sniffled, mad at how nice his fingers felt in my hair.

"I wanted you to be comfortable." His fingers massaged my scalp, rubbing and playing with my hair to comfort me without getting too close. "I wasn't going to let you continue to fall apart on the floor, I love you too much for that."

Tadashi sighed as he kept a soothing hand on my head, waiting for me to calm down as I let out all the angst I'd stored away over the years. I wasn't mad at him but I felt like I was. I was just mad at my own existence. Of all the people to comfort me while I loathed over my incestuous behavior, it had to be my brother himself.

I hated myself more as time ticked on because my brother's hand was so nice in my hair, I just loved his touch. Tadashi shushed me lovingly, his heart breaking at my sobs. He couldn't take it anymore and he stopped playing with my hair and laid down next to me. He hugged me from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder, resting his head on mine as I cried.

"Go away." I couldn't even cease my crying to order him away from me. "Just leave me alone"

"You don't mean that." Tadashi said, knowing how badly I did need his comfort. " I know you don't mean that."

I kept crying until the guilty angry feeling died out. I soon got it through my head that if Tadashi was willingly partaking in our...activities... and didn't stress over it then I was beating myself up for nothing. When it got out of my system the relief was amazing. The crying left me light headed and tired but my brain stopped buzzing with repressed hatred and guilty thoughts.

I knew that societally every bit of what Tadashi and I had done was wrong and I hated myself for enjoying it, but I wasn't ready to let go of the attention I'd craved for so long. He felt right and it felt good. I didn't want that feeling to go away, not after feeling so alone.

" You calmed down faster than I thought you would." My brother observed gratefully, happy that I stopped my pitiful sobbing. "Do you feel better?"

I nodded, bringing my hands up to rest underneath my chin as I wiped away tears clinging to my jawline. Tadashi hummed approvingly and kissed my cheek, squeezing me tightly. His warm body was so nice against me and in the back of my chemically imbalanced brain I swore to myself that I'd never make a bipolar joke ever again in my life. The mood swings were killing me. Bless those who had to permanently cope with that.

"When does puberty end?" I groaned embarrassed at my behaviors. 'I've been a mess."

"You should be done with puberty soon, most men stop growing at eighteen... twenty one in some cases but that's just overall growth." Tadashi assured me, kissing my cheek again. "You're just stressed out, being a teenager is hard. Everything is okay."

" Is it really?"

He pondered the question before answering me affirmatively. If there was anyone I trusted wholeheartedly it was my brother. I spent years of my adolescence stressing over my crush on Tadashi, now that he was here with me and telling me I was okay I wanted more than anything to believe him. He never steered me wrong.

"How are we going to act normal around Aunt Cass?" I worried, already imagining myself tiptoeing around like a paranoid mess when she came back home. "What if she finds out what we're doing?"

" You've hustled big league bot fighters twice your size and age but you're worried about Aunt Cass?"

"Well yeah... it's Aunt Cass. We see her everyday."

My concern was seen as miniscule by Tadashi and he felt the need to remind me how many times I escaped the clutches of low life henchmen after swindling their boss out of bet money. I played them all like saps during my rebellious year, pocketing thousands of dollars that Aunt Cass still didn't know I had stored away. I could put on an act and get away with murder, it was my specialty.

"You've got a good poker face use it. It doesn't work on me but with everyone else you're golden."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

My body was rolled back and Tadashi was looking at me , looking satisfied with himself. Smug almost as he brushed lint off my shirt and tapped the underside of my chin. He tickled me there, too content.

"You can put up a front with just about everyone but me. You've had a weak spot for years, bet you didn't know that"

"You're lying..."

"Nope. You can't get anything past me. You can't lie to me and you can't put a front up with me. I know all. Your poker face works on everyone else. Not me though"

I gave him a challenging look, ready to disprove his statement. I'd gotten away with plenty over the years. Tadashi raised his eyebrows waiting for whatever argument I was going to throw at him. Wanting to wipe the know it all smirk off his face I turned myself towards him.

"Oh yeah?" I challenged.

"Mmhm. You're my little brother, you can't hide things from me."

"I've liked you for years and you never knew until yesterday." I threw my argument at him "Had you kept your hands to yourself you still wouldn't know."

I totally thought I had him beat but my brother shook his head at me. He took a breath looking at me like I was naïve. He rolled his eyes very lightly, smiling right after and chuckling at what I assumed was my puzzled face.

"I've known since you were thirteen, Hiro"

". . .You're full of shit. "

I accused him, nervous at the specific number he used because that's I began seeing Tadashi in a decidingly amourous way. Surely he just chose thirteen as guess because of the whole puberty thing.

"You didn't know I liked you. You didn't do anything about it."

"I was eighteen, I couldn't in my right mind do anything to my thirteen year old brother."

With my brother I didn't usually think of our age difference. He was five years older than me and I often forgot that while mixed up in my infatuation with him. Him being an eighteen year old when I was thirteen didn't often pass through my mind at the time. Him being twenty one didn't really register with me currently until he started going out for an occasional night out with his friends and came home buzzed once.

"Okay so I was jail bait. Fine. Point taken." He had a point and I had to admit it. "But how did you know? I gave you so much attitude back then."

"Back then, Hiro?"

I rolled my eyes at him.

" Anyways, your eyes told all...and they wandered a lot." Tadashi added the last part in a teasing tone, emphasizing how I would stare at him when I thought he couldn't see. "A lot more than you realized."

"Shit..." I groaned, reliving the last three years mentally and cringing. "Please don't tell me any more."

Tadashi shifted in to a big brother mode, getting on top of me to taunt me. He blocked off my escape routes on either side of the bed and looked me in the eye, shit eating grin beginning to take up his face. He was going to wreck me with something embarrassing and I knew it. I frantically filed through the most embarrassing memories I had, hoping whatever he got me with was not any of them.

Once when I was thirteen took his favorite pen and hid it in my desk because I wanted something small of his I could treasure when he was gone... that same pen is still there. If Tadashi wanted his pen back he'd have another thing coming to him. Finders keepers or whatever. If it were that, I could live it down.

The time I stared at his ass while he went through his backpack came to mind. He turned around and I barely got my eyes up in time to look innocent. I was fourteen, I could live down that one too. I also went through his closet and just poked around for the hell of it...or maybe I liked the way his jacket smelled. His gym shirt also smelled pretty good last week when I took it from his bag for a minute. Not that he knew that... I hoped he didn't because that I could not live down.

"You don't want me to tell you about the big pair of brown eyes following me around the locker room last week? You know, that bring a guest day you accompanied me to? I could tell you about those same eyes watching me stretch in the weight room."

"No, that's super generous of you but I'm all set..." I was relieved that he didn't bring up his gym bag, if he knew I went through it ...just no.

"How about my gym bag being rifled through? You know, last week. "

Damn it.

If I could've given up all my intelligence for the ability to disappear I would have. Tadashi's teasing was hitting me hard, destroying the sense of secrecy I thought I'd had for the last three years. It suddenly felt like he knew everything. Choosing the defensive route instead of mousing down bashfully, I lashed back at him.

" Wanna tell me about my wet dreams and masterbating in the shower for three years too?" I bit back at him with sarcasm, hoping he'd catch I was extremely embarrassed. "And the horny day dreams? Since you just know everything let's just throw it all out there."

My brother was very attentive at the mention of my day dreaming.

"We should do that." He encouraged. "I'm all ears/"

"Fucking really?"

"And to think you kiss me with that mouth."

I slid myself back to sit up since he was blocking my way off the bed. I pointed at him and he blinked, waiting for my sassy response with high expectations. He really took joy in our back and forth squabbling, I assumed it was because he always got the upper hand.

"To be fair, it's actually the other way around Tadashi. " I corrected him, knowing that at no point during the previous twenty four hours did I instigate a kiss. "You kiss me. "

" Come here and spice things up then."

My brother began crawling towards me and I panicked... for some reason. I pulled my knees up in to my chest and turned away not ready for the abrupt sexual shift. Well, for the abrupt action my brother was going to take about it. Tadashi kept approaching and invaded my personal space with his face.

" You're pretty hot and cold, Hiro" he said, in reference to my on and off willingness to partake in activities. " Just like your mood swings."

I pushed him out of my personal space and he laughed, coming back in to kiss me on the cheek. I knew I was blushing and I pointed my eyes away a little.

"I'd love it if you kissed me for a change."

"Is that a fact?" I mumbled unnecessarily sarcastic, solely because I was nervous and sarcasm was my go to crutch. "How interesting."

"Don't pull that attitude out on me, be nice."

He didn't say it in a scolding way, his tone of voice was more taunting if anything. I looked up at him despite my hesitancy to and he grinned at me, straight pearly white teeth showing. The smile was for me and that alone made me go red in the face. My older brother broke out in a chuckle as I blushed harder, eyes just filled to the brim with infatuation.

"You're so cute."

At that my face turned hot, the heat seeping from the pores of my skin like steam. Embarrassed and caught unprepared, my response was to cover my face with one hand and look away. I groaned in aggravation with myself. For whatever reason it was so much easier to let Tadashi touch me and whatnot than it was to directly interact with him on such flirtatious levels.

Having him look at me so directly, showing his true feeling, made me feel... vulnerable? It was strange. The previous days it was almost as if I'd subconsciously convinced myself that at some point Tadashi would abruptly stop pursuing me physically and it'd all just end on one big joke, my pride and mental health being the punchline. But now after actually talking things out, after my episode, it was real. And I wasn't ready for that.

I wasn't ready to interact with my brother on a mutually intimate level, to seek out his touch or affection. I wanted to, but the boundary that was SUPPOSED to be between us was gone. Only a shadow of it was left. One I clung to out of habit, not desire. I didn't know how to go about this. From behind the boundary I knew how to act because I'd been trapped behind it for years. Now I was lost. The expression 'careful what you wish for' rung a little more clearly in my mind than ever before.

"God damn it, Tadashi" I muttered, still covering my face. "Why is this so hard?"

"Because it's new" he answered simply even though my question was technically rhetorical. "Just kiss me, it's alright. I want you to."

"Obviously I know you want me to, that's not the issue."

"Then what is?"

He removed the hand I had on my face in a gentle manner and put it on his own. He held it there and leaned in closer to me, smiling again as my face flared with a deeper flush of color. His shiny white smile made my stomach jump and I breathed heavily with my back pressed in to the headboard behind me. His lips were close enough all I had to do was tilt my chin up and I'd kiss him.

"Well?" Tadashi asked.

I'd forgotten he asked a question and I came back to reality, staring in to his brown eyes.

"I'm...I'm not sure how to do this."

"You know how to kiss." Tadashi whispered. "Just kiss me."

I didn't know what I was doing, not totally. Tadashi let go of the hand I had on his face but I still held it there. Looking at him, I forced down the uncertainty I felt. Just for a second. Tadashi wanted me to kiss him. That's what I needed to do. I wanted to. So looking down from his eyes, I focused on his mouth.

His wide grin had reduced to his usual, closed lip smile. Slender pink lips curled up in a tempting curve, beckoning me to close the distance between us. Placing my hand on his face to join the other, I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment before carefully pulling his face the last couple of inches down to mine.

My face refused to cool off or offer me any relief to the burning I felt on my cheeks. Eyes shut, I closed the distance between us. As our lips touched Tadashi didn't move them at all, they just lingered on mine. I almost backed away in reflexive fear I'd done something dumb or wrong but then it struck me...he want me to kiss him. He was waiting for me to initiate an actual kiss... and expected me to follow through with it as well.

Pursing my lips I pushed them against my brother's tentatively. I could have shoved my tongue in his mouth without restraint and he would have been fine with it, that I was sure of. He just wanted me to initiate, to show I wanted to participate. He wanted me to instigate. My caution wasn't for him though, it was for me. I was testing my own comfort level and my own nerve to be honest.

I hesitated to use my tongue but Tadashi pushed his lips against mine in a wordless encouragement. Taking a brief inhale through my nose, I willed myself to creep my tongue out. I touched the seam of my brother's lips and felt my heart hammering in my chest as I did so, the pounding increasing as a narrow part in his lips formed.

My tongue slipped in without me being ready, my brother's sly manipulation having been carried out perfectly. I didn't see the point of backing out so I crept my tongue further in his mouth until pushing my face a little closer. And that's when our front teeth clicked. It was a very quick collision, hardly an impact, but it happened. That's when I let go of his face to pull away, embarrassed.

"Ah ah." Tadashi scolded me, a huskily murmured chide. He shifted his weight on to his knees and took both my hands, returning them to his face.

I wasn't given much leeway to argue the matter and still berating my miniscule accident I brought Tadashi's mouth back to mine. This time when I kissed him, I faltered as our teeth neared. Tadashi's fingers appeared under my chin, tilting my head just a bit towards my shoulder. His subtle advice was embarrassing but appreciated all the same. Being sixteen I probably should have known to do that already.

Careful of his front teeth I pushed my tongue inside his mouth slowly, cheeks humming with the heat spilling from them as I found his tongue. He moved it, pushing it back slightly against mine. I wasn't naïve enough not to know what he wanted me to do , so I just did it. I sucked on his tongue.

My technique was sloppy at best, unconfident. Tadashi didn't care, he didn't laugh at my expense either. Not even an endeared chuckle. I did feel his lips turn up at the corners a little but he held the back of my head and took over. He pushed my tongue back in my mouth, proceeding to suck on it far more expertly. He released it and explored my mouth, pressing me back harder in to the headboard.

I felt a warm, fuzzy feeling close to contentment as he returned to the dominant role I was used to him having. He kissed me assertively but his pace was slower, his movements more drawn out than our first make out session. It felt so incredibly different than Ricky. I welcomed the wet, slippery feeling of Tadashi's tongue in my mouth. I loved it and I wanted more of it. When Ricky had kissed me in the car it was numb, and lackluster.

At the time it really bothered me that his kisses did nothing for me mentally. My body reacted to him but my mind couldn't produce the spark, the spark of interest that would draw me to him with infatuation. As my older brother kissed me the whole world around us could suddenly fade away and I wouldn't know until I opened my eyes, and even then I'd be mesmerized by his face and not care for our surroundings.

There was something about the way he moved his mouth against mine that just turned me on and spread heat through my core. He kissed me so fiercely but somehow managed not to smear saliva all over our lips. I wouldn't have cared if he did. I probably would have licked it up. Either I was lovesick or just plain fucking hormonal. It was probably both, but my raging hormones played a far larger role.

Inside my jeans my dick was getting hard, erecting without time to spare. I became hard so quickly it actually hurt. My erection strained against my jeans and I ripped myself away from Tadashi's mouth, taking my hands off his face and putting them on my crotch with a surprised grunt of discomfort. That's when my brother laughed at me, but it was a just quick surprised chuckle.

" I used to hate that." he told me, making quick work of my jeans to free my crushed erection. " Here, let me get you out of these."

"Thanks..."

Tadashi unbuttoned my jeans and unzipped me, backing off to remove them from me. I still sat against the headboard, now my pants missing. My loose red t-shirt hung past my hips, covering my underwear just barely. My bright white socks were still on my feet and bent at the waist to reach my toes. I slipped off the stupid looking socks.

As I tossed them off the bed Tadashi placed his hands on my shins and rubbed them gently. I looked at him, expecting to see some suggestive twinkle in his eye but I saw a far more gentle expression. My older brother gave me another smile and beckoned me forward. I moved on to my hands and knees from the sitting position I was in then I crawled towards him.

I was gathered up in his arms as he kneeled towards the foot of the bed and he hugged me closely. I felt so small in his hold but at the moment I welcomed it because I felt safe and the nagging voices that buzzed around my head for years stopped. I could smell the detergent on his clothes again and it felt blissful, like a sanctuary away from all the angst I'd endured for years.

When Tadashi had confronted me about my sexuality, I didn't anticipate any of the events that followed. From then and now, all of it was still running through my head with amazement. I remembered distinctly how curious Tadashi had looked at me when questioned if I liked males. Then how genuinely surprised he was when I told him I actually was gay... Suddenly my blissful euphoria was pierced with realization.

"Hey um, Dashi?"

"Yes, Hiro?

"Would you like to clear something up for me?"

"What is it?"

I recalled my brother's initial reaction to my coerced coming out, then compared it to his story earlier. His tale of having known about me all along. They didn't add up, at all. The nit picky part of my brain that liked to pick things apart set to work right away, analyzing the inconsistency. If Tadashi really did know about me, his confrontation was... out of place.

"If you knew about this...situation... all along, why'd you even ask me if I was gay?" I questioned him. "It doesn't add up. It's a random thing to ask but..."

"To be honest, I asked because I wanted to see if you'd tell me the truth. I was curious."

"...but you sounded so surprised when I told you!" I argued, remembering the little heart attack I'd had when my brother looked at me with shock. "You looked REALLY surprised."

"I was surprised." he defended. "I was surprised that you admitted it. I expected you to lie, you're evasive. I was almost positive you'd lie Hiro."

My brain processed the information and I accepted it, okay with the newfound answers. I made a note to myself that given my brother's tone of voice, he did not like my evasive, defensive tendencies. I should work on that. I was content regardless. My contentment was short lived, however, as something else popped up.

"Mind explaining to me why you just, you know, grabbed my dick yesterday? I'm not complaining now... but at the time it was uncalled for. Again, I'm not complaining. I'm just asking."

"I saw an opportunity." He answered me simple as that. " You gave me an opening. You want to keep playing twenty questions?"

" Now who has the attitude, sheesh."

My brother laughed and craned down to kiss me.

" Still you. Now are you going to interrogate me or do you want to pick up where we left off?"

I ended up being carried to Tadashi's side of the room after telling him that yes, I did want to pick up where we'd left off. On his larger bed he sat me down and began undressing himself. I watched him pull his shirt off, wringing the cotton of my own shirt between my fingers. No longer having a reason to avert my eyes, I let myself take in my brother without shame.

My older brother was in shape and muscular, something I constantly put myself down about in comparison. It didn't pass through my mind at the moment, my usual insecurity, because I was too enraptured with the way his bicep's flexed when he tossed his shirt aside. Too focused on the smooth, beige mounds of his pectorals.

Tadashi was man. He was a fucking man and I loved it. He looked nothing like me physically and when taking a moment to think about it, my own bodily complex was probably what had me so fixated on his masculinity. I wanted to look more like him... but Jesus did I just love looking at him too.

When he caught me staring I flushed but didn't look away. My insides burned but Tadashi was pleased with my assertive eye contact, smiling to himself. The praise in his eyes was crystal clear, my confident action pleased him. I felt a dramatic spike of confidence, then determined to keep those praiseful eyes looking at me. I crawled closer to the edge of the bed and reached out for him, taking his belt in my fingers.

It surprised both him and me when my fingers didn't shake or tremble. I undid his belt buckle, pulling it from the loops carefully and Tadashi caught my wrist. He took the belt from me and set it aside on his nightstand after rolling it up how he liked. I waited with baited breath for him to return his attention to me. When he did, my stomach fluttered at the approving stare he gave me.

He hooked his hands under my shirt and lifted it off me, not caring where it ended up. I tried undoing Tadashi's pants in return but he stopped me, wanting to get a good look at me. He put his hand to my chest and nudged me away firmly, making me fall back a bit. Still on my knees, I caught myself with my arms outstretched behind me.

"Dashi?"

"Yeah, Hiro?" He replied, his eyes darting up from my torso to meet my gaze.

"Are you going to finish getting undressed?"

His demeanor shifted and the eyes on me became smoldering.

"Is that what you want?" He inquired, blatantly testing my confidence. Seeing if I'd admit to it.

I nodded in response, never breaking eye contact.

He took off his pants and then next thing I knew he had his arm hooked around me. I was tipped to the side, falling to the mattress on my stomach with my torso twisted slightly because I'd tried catching myself. Tadashi pushed on my chest so I'd lay on my back and his pillow cushioned my skull with the repositioning. He made sure I was comfortable before climbing over me, layering himself on top of my body.

With his arms braced on either side of my head, he had his hands in my hair. He lowered his face to mine and I kissed him before he could kiss me, the moan that escaped his throat was amazing. It was deep and hungry as his erection pressing in to my thigh, which only made it better. My own erection was pulsing with need, poking Tadashi in the abdomen.

"So..." My brother said lowly in my ear after letting me out of the kiss. "What are you going to let me do to you?"

"Anything." I replied quickly, desperate to continue. "Just do something-ah!"

Through my underwear, Tadashi began squeezing my erection. He stroked and fondled it with the cloth barrier and I tossed my head aside on the pillow at the stimulation. One of his hands was still in my hair and unintentionally tugged on it from my movement, but I didn't care in the least. I was too busy concerning myself with how amazing it was as my brother slipped his hand down my underwear and grabbed me directly.

"You like that?" He asked as he stroked me, kissing my collarbone after. He licked the contour, leaving a wet trail in the hollow with his saliva.

"That feels awesome." I groaned, almost whining with his firm strokes. His hand just about devoured my dick. "Your palms are so warm."

I was stroked for a bit more before Tadashi decided to try something else. Moving up higher on the bed, he aligned our pelvises together after snaking his hand back out of my underwear. He rocked his hips in to me, our erections rubbing and grinding through the material of our underwear. I rocked back against him, holding him by the broad shoulders.

The friction between us was hardly anything too intense but in my horny haze it was amazing. He couldn't seem to give me enough because I raised my legs to wrap around his waist and dug them in to his lower back to rock against him with more leverage. I was breathing heavily, moaning softly under my breath. I didn't care at all how desperate or horny I was acting, because the situation was what it was. I was a horny, pent up teenager living a fantasy.

Tadashi was more composed than I was but crumbling gradually. After grinding into me with controlled precision, his own dry thrusts were becoming firmer, more powerful. I didn't know if it was for my gratification or his own pent need but either way I had no issue with it. I was getting close, which Tadashi did have an issue with.

"You're going to cum in your underwear you knuckle head." he taunted breathlessly, still dry humping me. "Wouldn't you rather get to the good stuff?"

" Let's get to it then." I urged, my climax approaching. "Or else I'm going to lose it like this. Because otherwise I don't think I really care."

Off went my underwear with a quick glide down my skinny legs after Tadashi backed off me. He stood from the bed and dropped his underwear to the floor then retrieved his bottle of lubricant from the nightstand. I laid back, beginning to bend my knees up for him assuming he'd come at me how he had before, but he shook his head. With the hand not holding the lube he rolled me over partially, conveying that he wanted me on my hands and knees.

"The penetration is easier this way." he explained very seriously, almost apologetically. "I want to see your face but I need to do what's safest. You couldn't fit me all the way last time."

"I understand." I assured him under my breath, recalling my discomfort as Tadashi only penetrated me shy of five inches before it was unbearable to even consider letting him go deeper. "Do what you have to do, I don't care."

Positioning himself to kneel behind me, Tadashi opened the bottle of lubricant and poured some on his fingers before the bottle clicked shut. I only knew he poured the lube on his fingers because moments later cold, slimy digits were prodding at my entrance. I didn't yelp or squeal like I'd done the first time but I did jump at the contact.

"Why does that feel so weird?" I complained lightly, clenching up at the slimy wet feeling circling my entrance.

"You're not used to it, it takes time." Tadashi promised, beginning to press the fleshy pad of his finger against me. "Now breath and open up for me."

I was offered an apology and then Tadashi was pushing a fingertip inside me. My entrance was sore from the day before but nowhere near detrimental to the situation. The light burning I felt passed as he carefully fingered me, spreading the lubricant around the ring of muscle. I clenched and unclenched reflexively at the intrusion, breathing heavily.

I was fine and Tadashi slipped in another finger, beginning to venture deeper inside me. From the way he was curling his fingers and prodding around carefully I could tell what he was going to do. I remembered how he'd played with me in the bathtub and immediately recognized the familiar mannerism. I took a deep breath in preparation and then he was at my prostate.

I moaned when he began pressing it, rubbing it firmly with two fingers. I slowly gathered Tadashi's sheets in my fingers and clenched when he pistoned his fingers in me abruptly hard. He jabbed at my prostate and I almost yelled from the intense jolt that shot up my spine. My brother loved it, and kept going.

Under his hand I wriggled, bouncing back and force against his fingers. I was acting on pure instinct, going with what my body was telling me to do. The direct stimulation was persistent and unrelenting, pushing me close to the edge. As my thighs began to quiver Tadashi removed his fingers, rubbing my hip reassuringly as I shifted to see what the problem was.

There was no problem, he was just getting more lube. He flipped open the bottle again and drizzled some on himself, rubbing it in. The bottle still open, he used his thumb and pinky to spread my cheeks apart a little before drizzling more lubricant directly on my already slippery hole even though I was already lubed up on top of him having lubed himself. I bit back a squeal at the frigid, wet drizzle.

" Why would you-"

"I'm playing it safer this time." Tadashi explained, clicking the bottle shut. " Better safe than sorry."

"Does that really require you to lube up my ass like fucking slip and slide?" I demanded, unhappy with the unpleasant sensation that came with having lube poured DIRECTLY on my asshole. "That's freezing."

The bottle of lube was placed back on the nightstand with Tadashi long, outstretched arm, slow and leisurely.

"It certainly does require this." he responded, unresponsive to my sarcasm. " Like I said, playing it safer. I don't want to hurt you again."

"You didn't hurt me."

"Regardless, you were in pain. Now take a breath and let it out slowly when I tell you to."

Fingers still keeping my cheeks spread, Tadashi shifted behind me a bit. I felt the blunt tip of his erection press in to me and then I was instructed to let go of the air I was holding. I let it out very slowly as he began to breach me. The penetration happened almost effortlessly with all the lubricant Tadashi had applied, not to mention I was more prepared for it. Inch by inch he entered me and when he slipped halfway in I began to feel a familiar burn.

"Nng-"

My breath hitched at the tight, burning sensation behind me. Tadashi kept applying pressure, pressing in to me very carefully. He instructed me to breathe through it, promising me it'd be worth it in the end. It hurt as he moved deeper inside me, sharp pains prickling where I stretched. True to his word though, after taking the time to adjust he had completely sheathed himself inside me. I felt his pelvis near my backside and then the head of his penis brushed my prostate.

I gasped, involuntarily shifting back in to him. My head hung low with my hair covering my face and from behind me I heard Tadashi's strained breathing as my inner muscles squeezed his entire length and girth. My body tried pushing him out like an intrusion but he stayed firmly where he was, my anal canal fluttering around him.

There was a very dull pain still present but as he rocked his hips in to me, rubbing my sweet spot, it didn't matter. I groaned as he teased it, feeling my dick throb with need to be touched. I wasn't quite confident enough to just start touching myself in front of Tadashi so I let my erection go unattended, but with the stimulation of my prostate it actually started to hurt as it swelled.

"How are you holding up?" Tadashi asked me, holding off on actually thrusting.

"I'm fine, you can move." I insisted, wanting him to move very badly. Immediately. "Please move."

Tadashi moved cautiously, thrusting very slowly. He pulled out and pushed back in, letting me adjust to the sensation of full penetration. My prostate aside, I was amazed at just how many nerve endings there were back there. I could feel so much just from his gentle motions and as foreign as it was, I still liked it.

He resumed prodding my prostate as he moved more quickly, gradually letting go of his protective attitude. Going in to it this time around he'd been far more gentle than our previous encounters and I pondered if maybe he began feeling bad about his impulsive actions. I didn't ponder it much because soon enough he was letting loose and returning to the more aggressive Tadashi I'd found about.

The sensations were overwhelming and I had to resort to lowering my chest down to the bed, my arms beginning to shake. I feared they were going to give out on me and I decided falling on my face during sex was not something I wanted to have fight to live down. Avoiding the problem, I laid with my torso parallel to the bed, my backside propped up still.

"Tadashi... ah-"

I moaned with his movements and that encouraged him to fuck me harder. He was completely losing his cool and quite rapidly. Without warning he suddenly pushed me down to lie flat. The hard snaps of his pelvis against me were becoming just a little bit too much for me to comfortably handle but the momentum of his thrusts rocked me into the mattress, rubbing my erection with the friction I needed.

Close again, I groaned deep in my throat and clawed at the covers under me. From the frantic wiggle of my hips Tadashi knew I was close and I almost died a wonderful, euphoric death as he suddenly pressed his body down on me. Almost his entire body weight was weighing down on me and his breath was right by my ear, hot and panting.

"Can you handle this?" He asked. "I'll slow downif-"

"Keep going."

My prostate was jabbed repeatedly and I moaned, my voice rising. I tried pushing back up in to him for more stimulation, so close, but he held me down. One arm was pressed between my shoulders and the other clenched the sheets by my head. My mouth fell open and I drooled for a moment before I cried out sharply, Tadashi's strangled cry following mine.

Cleaning up had been a little embarrassing being I came on his sheets and felt bad. Tadashi kissed my head and promised things like that just came with the territory and he winked at me, leaving me to piece together the pun. I huffed and rolled my eyes, helping him gather the covers to wash. After cleaning ourselves off in the shower, we moved the covers to the drying machine and went about the afternoon just hanging out.

Tadashi had been carrying the bed covers upstairs when the house phone rang. I left the room to go get it, walking past him on the stairs. A hand swung out behind him when I passed, landing on my ass. I turned around to smack him back but he sprinted up the stairs and teased me to get the phone before it went to voicemail. I was too slow because it did go to voicemail.

"Hey boys, I'm going to be coming home late tonight..."

The message was directed at Tadashi and Aunt Cass reminded us that we'd be eating take out again for dinner since she wouldn't be home until hours after dinner time. Apparently she'd be paying Tadashi back for whatever he bought us for dinner when she got home. Remembering my near food poisoning from the Chinese take out before, I grimaced at the thought of take out again.

"Ick..."

I trekked back up the stairs to our room and Tadashi was smoothing out the covers when I walked in. Plopping down on my bed, I picked up the remote to the TV mounted on the wall on my side of the room, turning it on. Tadashi walked over and sat next to me as I flicked through the channels.

"So as you know we're on our own for dinner again tonight." I mentioned uninterestedly. "I don't think I can stomach take out again. The other night kind of turned me off. I think I'm just going to eat a sandwich or something."

"We could order subs." Tadashi suggested. " I'm sure a cold sub would be easy on your stomach, nothing greasy or heavy."

"Maybe."

About an hour after a late dinner that night Tadashi had playfully snuck up on me as I rummaged through the pantry for something sweet. He grabbed my ass and I shot up like rocket in surprise. I turned to yell at him but the words were lost in my throat as I caught sight of his predatory stare. I took a step back, very weary, and then bolted when I saw him move towards me.

I looped around the island counter in the kitchen but Tadashi thought quickly, going around the other side. I screamed like a little fucking girl when I barrelled in to his chest and he scooped me up in his arms swinging me around. I screamed in terror as everything around me spun and Tadashi was laughing his ass off as I clung to his neck, screaming.

I was squirming, begging him to put me down. With all the noise we were making we didn't hear the front door open. Aunt Cass appeared in the stairway and saw us horsing around. She cleared her throat and Tadashi stopped, looking over calmly like he hadn't just tried spinning me in to the next dimension.

"Welcome home Aunt Cass!" He greeted our Aunt as I held my head, dizzy as all hell.

"Thank you Tadashi. Why are you tormenting your brother?"

"I'm not, we were horsing around."

I gave him a very unamused glare. Horsing around my ass... literally.

"Yeah, we were going around alright..." I grumbled. "My head, damn. I'm dizzy."

"Put Hiro down, Tadashi" Aunt Cass told, smiling to herself in amusement. "He's a little too grown for that, he's sixteen."

"That's the issue here?" I retorted, my eyes still crossing. "The room is spinning..."

Tadashi ruffled my hair as I leaned in to him for something stable and he laughed as my disorientated groan.

" Sorry Hiro, that was great though."

"Speak for yourself."

I was set down on my feet and took a second to reacclimate to the floor. Aunt Cass came forward and hugged me, swatting Tadashi for his actions. He kept laughing as she let me go and hugged him, wandering off to find mochi. She checked with my brother to make sure he'd been fed and Tadashi assured her that Mochi had been given both his breakfast and dinner.

As she left the room Tadashi gave me a small smirk and prepared to make a run for it but Aunt Cass came back with Mochi following her ankles. The fat cat purred at her feet and she bent over to hoist him up, complaining that he needed to be placed on a diet. She wandered off to the living room, offering to watch a movie with us but Tadashi declined.

"Maybe another time, Aunt Cass."

He claimed he needed to go back upstairs and gestured for me to follow him as Aunt Cass was busy looking for the remote in the couch cushions. I shook my head, knowing what he was after. My ass hurt from the pounding I got earlier and I wasn't ready for more. Tadashi was beginning to mouth something to me but Aunt Cass found the remote and asked if I was staying.

"Hiro, Honey. Come watch something with me if you have nothing to do."

I sat down with her, to Tadashi's annoyance. As I sat down though I squatted carefully but a little too obviously. She raised a brow and questioned if I was okay. I didn't have an excuse prepared but Tadashi came to my rescue. Well, kind of.

"He was watching your exercise tapes, those squats really did him in."

The save was the last thing I anticipated and I looked at him bewildered. Aunt Cass hugged me randomly and I had no idea why she was so happy.

"That's great! We can exercise together!" she gushed. "Tomorrow we'll do yoga! "

"Yay..."

On that note Tadashi smiled victoriously and left me to watch whatever chick flick Aunt Cass was going to choose.

"If you get bored You can come hang out with me Hiro..." he trailed off while climbing the stairs. "I'll be waiting."


	7. Chapter 7

After painfully sitting through a bittersweet romantic movie with my aunt, I trudged to the kitchen for a snack. Getting a cookie and a glass of milk, I bid Aunt Cass goodnight knowing she'd be turning in for the night soon. Climbing the stairs I began trekking back to my room, aware that there was a possibility Tadashi was still awake. I wasn't too sure how I felt about that.

About halfway through the film he'd come down to 'nonchalantly' check on me, more accurately meaning he was investigating why I hadn't followed him upstairs. I smiled nervously, shifting my hips deliberately to subtly convey the soreness I still had. He smirked and wandered off, Aunt Cass completely zoned out to the sappy scene on the screen.

Approaching the door to Tadashi and I's bedroom, I couldn't hear anything. I pushed open the door and when I entered only Tadashi's bedside table was on. He was reading a book and looked over at me. I shut the door behind myself out of habit then flicked the light switch on with my elbow. I walked over to my desk, setting the glass of milk down and booting up my laptop with the cookie held between my teeth.

"Hey Yoga butt, how was the movie?" Tadashi asked me from his side of the room. "Any good?"

"Fucking gay." I muttered around the cookie in my mouth.

I heard my brother give a vaguely amused scoff at my answer.

" How horribly rude, Hiro."

" Well it was." I insisted, chewing a bite I'd taken of the cookie. "It was gay as hell."

" You of all people should know better than to use that word incorrectly."

I turned in my office chair to face my brother. He wasn't quite getting the big picture here. Not at all. So I spelled it out for him.

"No, it was literally gay." I explained, defending my choice of words."We were watching 'Brokeback Mountain', Tadashi. It was gay. "

"Oh...well that is pretty gay then." Tadashi agreed, turning a page of his book. "My mistake. You were right."

Shaking my head I took a sip of milk.

" It wasn't bad but I would have preferred not watching a gay romance with Aunt Cass. That was so uncomfortable."

I took another swig of milk to wash down the bite I'd taken and my brother bookmarked the page he'd been reading and set the book aside. He put his hands behind his head and looked at me as I took another drink, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"If it was so uncomfortable then why'd you stay down there?" He questioned. "You could have come up here."

"To get my butt diddled? No thank you, Jack. "

"If I'm Jack that makes you Ennis."

"Whatever, either way my ass is sore as hell."

My brother's playfulness aside, his protective side came out. He worried he'd overdone it and asked me if I was alright. I assured him I was fine, just not quite used to all the activity. My brother was well endowed and my once virginal body sure as hell could feel that. I turned back to my desk as my laptop chimed with the home screen and I began running a game to play.

"What are you up to over there?" Tadashi pryed, getting up from his bed. "Anything interesting?"

"Not in particular-" I began explaining until I suddenly got an message alert with a certain name Tadashi wasn't fond of. "Uh, you know. Just going to play a game before bed..."

I felt my stomach leap at seeing Ricky's name pop upon the notification and hurried to close it without looking suspicious. Tadashi popped up behind me as the notification disappeared and I swallowed.

"You should wrap it up soon, it's getting late."

"Yeah, I'll get to bed in a bit. Just gonna unwind first..."

"Alright, don't stay up too late."

A kiss was placed on the top of my head and then Tadashi was shutting off the bedroom light, his bedside table lamp, and getting in to bed. In the dark with my computer screen illuminating the small space of my desk and face, I nervously fiddled with the mouse.

So Ricky wanted to talk...

I could hear Tadashi turning over in his bed, getting comfortable. I didn't dare even considering opening Ricky's message until I heard my brother settle in to sleep. Even then, I very hesitantly opened the message window.

"Hey, are you up?" Popped up on my screen and I typed back that I was up, nervously waiting for what reason Ricky decided to message me so late.

It wasn't the first time I'd ever spoken to him so late, but with the change in events I couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Because as I typed to a man who made his sexual interest in me blatantly clear, the object of my affection and blatant obsession was half way across the room trying to sleep. Both which didn't quite like each other...at all.

What started as a casual conversation quickly turned to Ricky trying to lure me out from the house to hangout. Even had I wanted to go, there was no way I was getting past Tadashi. If I left, whether he caught me or found out about it later on, I would be in for an interrogation. If there was one thing Tadashi hated more than Ricky, it was me running out and about past dark. Combine those two together and there would be a problem.

Declining as politely as possible, I then informed Ricky I was off to bed because of the late hour. I waited for his response and when I saw he'd seen my message I flinched. Him typing back felt like it took forever when it'd only taken a few seconds.

" Be sure to give your big brother a nice goodnight kiss after he reads your bedtime story."

Xxxxx

"Take a deep breath and slowly bend forward, touching your toes..."

With my hair falling over my face I did as the yoga tape instructor said, touching my toes as Aunt Cass struggled to reach past her ankles. With her old exercise clothing on, earlier on in the morning I'd been woken by Aunt Cass who was ready to start the day with yoga. Tadashi roused from sleep as I was tugged from bed and just smirked like an asshole big brother while Aunt Cass skipped off to get the living room ready.

"Ugh ..." I grumbled when digging out some clothes to wear, getting dressed. " I've got a big morning ahead of me today."

"You certainly do have a big morning ahead you."

Tadashi sat up and stretched, watching as I pulled on my clothing. Crawling around for my sneakers I tiredly plopped back on my rear and tugged them on. Back to my brother, I laced up my sneakers unenthusiasticly, messing up and having to start again. Again, I grumbled about my oncoming yoga session. Why me? It was all Tadashi's fault.

"So you going to help in any way or...?"

"I'm the last person you should be turning to help for, really."

"Alright then, whatever that means."

The lady on screen instructed us to hold our position and I groaned internally. Twenty minutes in to the video and I really just wanted to be in bed. Tadashi just had to be creative and tell Aunt Cass I was watching her tapes. Fricken Tadashi.

"You can really feel this in the hamstrings, huh?" Aunt Cass huffed, still trying to reach past her ankles. "Wow, that's kinda painful...Hiro, how are you holding up?"

"How long is this video?"

Aunt Cass bumped me with her elbow in a teasing manner, nearly losing her balance in the process.

"Only about ten minutes left, almost there." She told me. "Don't go quitting on me."

"Wouldn't dream of it..."

As we leaned forward to touch the floor instead, or rather I could and Aunt Cass tried, the stairs were heard creaking under someone's weight. Already knowing who was about to walk in, I braced myself. Neither Aunt Cass or I said anything, stuck in mid position. I heard as Tadashi entered the room, standing behind us as the tape instructor encouraged us to hold the stretch.

"So how's the yoga session, you two?" He pried very casually, my face going pink with both the blood rushing to it and embarrassment.

Aunt Cass answered him chipperly despite how strained she actually was, I didn't comment. I could feel his eyes on me and I just knew what was running through his mind. I could feel how tight my old shorts had clung to my rear with the bend, no doubt in my mind his eyes were also taking note. Tadashi also noticed my lack of response and didn't leave it be.

"How are you holding up, Hiro?"

"Oh I'm just dandy..." I answered him, my stomach dropping as Aunt Cass then made a comment regarding my flexibility.

"Oh he's so flexible, look at him. " She gushed, proud of me. "He's hardly breaking a sweat."

"It's those young joints." Tadashi explained to her simply. "He can really bend and stretch when he needs to. Take my word for it."

In utter horror I looked past my leg at him and he winked, walking past us to the kitchen. Aunt Cass was none the wiser and carried on. When the video was wrapping up, Tadashi came waltzing back in with a mug of coffee and sipped from it as he went back up the stairs, still in his pajamas...deliberately being sure to make eye contact with me.

When done with the video I went to the kitchen as Aunt Cass turned off the T.V. She followed me in to the kitchen. I opened the pantry and I heard Aunt Cass opening the fridge. She rummaged around before clicking her tongue. Apparently she was missing ingredients.

"We don't have bread or eggs... how am I supposed to make breakfast?"

"Well we could just have doughnuts with milk." I suggested, wondering if the cafe downstairs had slipped my aunt's mind. "They're downstairs. You work there, remember?"

"I want something a little more substantial today. Hiro would you be a dear and go to the corner store for me please?"

My aunt was usually one for running and doing errands, she hardly ever asked for me to do them. Although I just wanted to go back to bed after something to snack on, I told her I'd go because she almost never asked me to run errands for her last minute. She handed me ten dollars and instructed me to grab something for myself also. She smoothed out my hair and off I went, still dressed in my exercise clothes.

The corner store wasn't exactly around the corner, more down two streets and around the corner. Still early in the morning the street was somewhat busy with commuting cars, their drivers surely off to work. I stuck my hands in my pockets, not really paying much mind to my surroundings. I zoned out as I walked, coming back to as a school bus passed me.

What looked to be high schoolers filled the bus and I nearly cringed at the familiar, gaudy yellow vehicle. In my experience, nothing good ever came of getting on the bus. I had far too many memories of sitting alone and getting crap thrown at me for being the 'nerd', the 'overachiever'. As a kid, being promoted to high school at the age of ten seemed cool.

It really wasn't.

I had no friends from the age gap, completely isolated. Until I met Ricky that is. When I graduated at thirteen I hadn't a clue he even went to the same school as me. I'd never seen him until venturing in to the nightlife of bot fighting at fourteen... but he recognized me. It was so strange, being approached by another person.

Xxxxx

"Bot down! We have a winner!"

Sitting across from a man literally twice my size, I watched as he punched a large heavy fist down in to the pavement. The crowd clapped in surprise, watching wearily as my opponent stood angrily and collected his fallen bot. I was doled out my winnings and heard snickers as I placed the earned cash in to the pocket of my hoodie.

"It's probably his lunch money, you know." Some guy snorted loudly to his pal.

The crowd erupted in laughter.

No one ever took me seriously, even when I won or showed up with some real bot. Not some shit the amateurs called a bot. I grit my teeth and picked up my bot, ready to leave. Then I heard a sharp slap, like someone had been struck upside the skull from an unforgiving person. Then a ruckus began. The man who'd commented moments prior yelling out angrily. I didn't look back, I kept walking. If I got mixed up in the commotion I'd be screwed. I was too small, no one would protect me. Tadashi was at home across town.

Leaving the abandoned parking lot I kicked at a pebble on the ground in annoyance, listening as it skimmed the ground. I could hear that whatever commotion began stopped abruptly fast. Even with the weight of my winnings in my pocket, I couldn't bring myself to be happy. I was pretty bummed if anything.

For once it would have been nice to be taken seriously, even if just a bit. Even when I won I wasn't given proper validation. Not much different than my life in general. I was smart and it really got me nowhere, just paved the path to an everlasting migraine.

I was always told to put my big brain to use, to do something I loved. I loved robotics, and I loved the bot fight scene. As developed as my brain was, my body hadn't caught up quickly enough...And I was a joke because of it. Doing what I loved was a joke. I never thought I'd get the validation.

Stopping, I looked up to an overhanging street lamp. I sighed before looking back down to my hands. I turned my bot over in my hands, frowning at the evidence of my hard work and potential. I felt it was worth nothing. I felt I was worth nothing...because no one besides what was left of my family ever told me otherwise.

Then I picked up on the smell of a lit cigarette.

Xxxxx

A lit cigarette was exactly what I smelled when turning the corner off the street. And there was Ricky, leaning up against the storefront. He tapped a pack of what appeared to be a newly boughten cigarettes and pulled one out. It dangled from his lips as he then replaced the pack in his hand with a lighter.

I froze when I saw him, unsure of what to do. As he raised his head he spotted me. Raising his lighter, he flicked it and lit the cigarette in his mouth. Taking a drag, he closed the lighter and placed it in his pocket before waving to me, his mouth set a fairly placid grimace.

"Hey Ricky."

"Sup Hiro?"

I approached him and he flicked away ashes before taking another drag. Knowing I didn't really have a choice but to stop and chat, I stood next to him. Eying me for a moment with his green eyes, he moved the lit cigarette away, keeping the smoke from hitting me.

"Mr. Virgin Lungs over here." he teased me. "What's up? You sleep well?"

"I slept pretty well...I guess?"

"You guess?...What's with the sporty look? That's new."

Remembering what I was wearing, I cleared my throat. Ricky raised a brow, the movement somewhat obscured by the heavy fringe hanging over his eye. His brown hair caught in the morning's rising sun, cigarette smoke billowing murky around his shoulders.

"Was doing some exercise." I explained to him simply, being it was the truth. "Yeah, just some exercise..."

"This early?"

"Well it's never too early to get in shape...the early bird gets the worm or whatever."

Ricky chuckled, giving me a once over look. I could see all his teeth, the pearly whites straight like Tadashi's. No gap like mine. If only I had a way to explain away the thousands of dollars I stored away from bot fighting, I would have paid for my own braces. Attempt to make me look older, not like a gap tooth little kid.

I always assumed Ricky's teeth would change from all the cigarettes he smoked, but they didn't. Somehow he'd managed to keep them white even with the smoking, no stains on them yet unlike how they'd warned in health class.

"You're funny, Hiro. You look fine the way you are."

I didn't agree with what he'd said but I felt awkward and flush anyways. Ricky really did think I looked fine...he thought I looked better. If his actions in my bedroom or his car counted for anything, he certainly had an interest. Remembering such, I wanted away from Ricky. I wanted to make my escape to the store and then home. Ricky didn't give me the opening.

"So, what has your ass over here so early. Hm?"

"Oh...um, My aunt." I answered him, trying my best to ignore the ways his eyes watched my mouth move. "She needs stuff, she's making breakfast...my aunt..."

"Your aunt's a nice lady."

Another flick of his cigarette, another glance to my lips.

"Well I'm going to go grab her groceries now... she's expecting them soon."

"Alright." He dismissed, very smoothly. Lips curling. "I'm still gonna be here when you come out."

Just as Ricky said, he was there when I left the store with Aunt Cass's bread and eggs on hand. The convenience store plastic bag in one hand, I stepped out as Ricky was finishing smoking. He winked, dropping the cigarette to the hot top to snuff out with the toe of his old black boot. Fishing his car keys out from the depths of his worn ripped jeans, he nodded for me to follow him.

"I'll drive you back. Hop on in."

"I can walk, Ricky. It's right up the street." I argued weakly, not liking the idea of Ricky's car pulling up to my house. " Thanks though-"

"Hiro. Do me a favor and just get in the car. Jeez."

Opening the door to the driver side, Ricky got in and adjusted the hanging fabric of his green and black flannel button up. He pulled the hem in closer to his torso before closing the door, ensuring he didn't catch it in the door. The window was open and he whistled, jabbing his thumb in direction of his empty passenger seat.

"Get in."

Buckled in and a bag of groceries in my lap, I sat in uncomfortable silence as Ricky drove out of the corner store parking lot. As tense as I was, I didn't feel like I was in any danger with Ricky. If anything being with Ricky put me in danger with Tadashi's temper. In the past I didn't care quite as deeply for Tadashi's dislike of Ricky but more than ever I now cared about Tadashi's opinion. More I didn't want his disapproval.

I wanted things to go well.

"I'll drop you off a few houses down like last time, relax."

I swallowed thickly as Ricky's remark. Daring a side glance I caught the end of his annoyed headshake. I fully anticipated him to keep it at that but he spoke up again. He had such a way of easing in to topics...

"So, have you had a chance to explain to your brother I'm not a rapist?"

"Erm..."

Nowhere in my memory was there a discussion revolving Ricky with Tadashi the previous days. Ricky glanced to me, waiting for an answer and not knowing what else to do I shook my head. His eyes didn't leave mine and I meekly shrugged my shoulders, already knowing he was expecting an explanation. I had none. Ricky looked back at the road.

"You know, it wasn't great having to sneak around your brother to see you when he thought I was just trouble. But being promoted to 'rapist' isn't exactly a label I'll embrace either, Hiro. You need to clear this shit up."

"Look, I haven't had the opportunity to bring it up. I'll talk to him."

"Why didn't you after he kicked me out?"

The first thing to come to mind for reasoning was the thorough corruption I underwent after Ricky's attempt at bedding me.

"I got sidetracked..."

With my brother's dick...and mouth. And fingers. Just all of him because he was gorgeous and sexy. And I was weak in many senses of the word.

"Sidetracked?" Ricky repeated, sighing under his breath. "Fine, whatever. Look, just do me a favor and talk to him soon. As soon as possible. I mean it, you need to get on this shit fast."

"….why the hurry?" I asked him wearily, feigning ignorance.

However, Ricky surprised me with his answer. He took a heavy breath as he pulled in to park along the sidewalk a few houses down from mine. His fingers still gripped the steering wheel his eyes cast straight ahead.

"Cuz I'm not losing my time with you to a misunderstanding. Especially not to an overprotective sibling."

"I know Tadashi can be a bit much but he means well, Ricky. He's my brother and-"

"You're sixteen, I'm pretty sure he could find better things to do than obsess over what you do. The guy's twenty one for Christ sake... Isn't your brother in like his third year of college? Right?"

Unsure of where Ricky was going with his question, I nodded. Ricky pondered something before turning to me. As if trying to comfort me, he put a hand on my shoulder. It wasn't a comforting gesture. Not to me at least. I could have gone without.

"He'll be out on summer break soon, just think after that it'll be Fall. One more school year and he's done. After next year he's gonna graduate and start his life. Probably somewhere far away if you're lucky. Can only hope but it's most likely what's going to happen."

I felt my mouth go dry as Ricky smiled, mistaking my wide eyes for joyous realization. In truth, I was horrified. Absolutely horrified at what he was implying.

"Just think Hiro, only one more year of Tadashi."


	8. Chapter 8

Going back home, I felt almost in shock. I left the bag for Aunt Cass on the counter along with the change then walked away without saying anything. Aunt Cass looked at the change and back at the bag before pausing, then she called out to me.

"Hiro, you didn't get yourself anything." She chided me. "You're supposed to get yourself a treat when I send you on a errand, Honey. What happened?"

"I didn't want anything..." I managed to call back to her.

Walking up the stairs I realized how nervous I'd been when going in to the store, knowing Ricky was waiting for me outside. I totally forgot to get myself something, but I didn't care. I didn't care at all. From the kitchen I could hear my aunt beginning to move pans around, probaby looking for the one she fried eggs with.

Mulling over Ricky's words, I gnawed on my lower lip. I could feel my fingers twitching, my palms getting wet. The closer I got to my bedroom the harder it was to breath. Never did I ever think about what would happen after Tadashi finished college. It never crossed my mind that like everyone else, he was going to college to build a future himself.

Then he would leave. He would leave and never come back for me.

Being that for years I yearned for my brother, having him for such a brief time felt like a a dream. It felt like a beautiful, beautiful dream. My insecurities aside, I was so happy. So much happier than I let on to myself. I didn't realize just how happy I really was until Ricky dropped reality all over my new happiness, crushing it in a single sentence. I'd had my brother's attention for hardly two full days and he crushed my happiness.

"Just think Hiro, only one more year of Tadashi."

I avoided Tadashi that morning after Ricky dropped me off. I didn't know what to do or how to feel other than completely crushed and anxious. I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him even though I hadn't done anything wrong. Not necessarily. I saw Ricky and Tadashi wouldn't approve of that...but I hadn't planned on it. Either way, Tadashi wouldn't like knowing that. I really wished I hadn't seen him.

For the rest of the day I immersed myself in my computer, trying to escape what was going on in my head. Sitting through dinner that night was uncomfortable, I hadn't even wanted to eat. But being I skipped breakfast and lunch both times I was called down, Aunt Cass sent Tadashi upstairs after me.

I got his big brown eyes when he came in, him staring at me worred. He was analyzing me because he knew something was wrong. Like he told me, I couldn't hide things from him. I still tried. Boy did I try. I avoided conversation at the dinner table and left as soon as I'd spooned enough bites of lasagna to fool Aunt Cass that I was full. I wasn't hungry to begin with.

I was showered and in bed before Tadashi came upstairs from helping our aunt clean the kitchen. The lights were off and I buried myself under the blankets, holding them over my head like they'd protect me from the cruel joke the universe had played on me. Had I not been so distraught I would have been pissed, but alas I was a mess. Just a mess.

As hard as I tried I couldn't fall asleep. I wasn't even drowsy when Tadashi came up the stairs. The bedroom door opened and my heart stopped before resuming its frantic palpitations. Tadashi didn't turn on the lights, he came walking to my bed in the dark.

I felt a hand rub my back through the blankets then it was being pulled back just enough that my head was out. I braced myself for some intervention but Tadashi kissed my head then fixed the blankets to rest at my shoulders before going off to his own bed. His lips felt so nice, leaving a warm sensation where he'd kissed. I felt my heart clench as his bed springs shifted with his weight across the room.

I missed him already.

Xxxxx

The first day avoiding Tadashi was horrible, the days following it being torturous. Had I just opened my mouth and said something it would have relieved me of so much pressure but alas the one person to talk to about my problem was the problem himself. Telling Tadashi was out of the question, I wouldn't guilt him with my separation anxiety. He had a life to live. It was only logical he would get his diploma and move away.

It was impossible to cope through, each day everything I bottled up just grew heavier in both my head and heart. As Tadashi was in school and Aunt worked the Café, I would spend my afternoons alone in our room. The reminders of Tadashi across the living space tugged at my heart strings, forcing me to focus on my computer screen harder.

Ricky didn't message me when I was online, offering me some relief. Although the entire time I was on, I would constantly glance to the bottom of the screen in anticipation of a message from him. Although I had the opportunities to talk to Tadashi, I didn't. My interactions with Tadashi were strained, he was gone all afternoon and then I'd sleep right after dinner. It worked for the time being, but by the weekend I was mentally exhausted from not talking out all my racing thoughts.

The exhaustion caught up with me. What was a trip to the living room one evening to play video games, turned in to a horrible, horrible panic attack. I got pissed after losing a level multiple times and in a moment of rage I flung the controller, my arm knocking something off the coffee table in the process.

"Fucking-" I grumbled as I heard something hit the floor. "Ugh."

When looking for what had fallen, I found it quickly. A picture frame fell and I quickly discovered Aunt Cass had yet change the picture frame I'd knocked over days prior. Again, I was faced with the beloved old picture of my older brother and I. Spiderweb cracks still all over it now worsened. There were more cracks now than there were before, long longs from each corner to the other.

Like the cracks along the picture were actually wedged along the hollows of my ribs and as if someone had punched me right where those cracked bones caged my heart, I wailed. I clutched the photo and cried, shaking. It caught me blindsided and I took a deep breath, trying to regain the composure I'd lost so quickly. Without thinking I booked it from the living room in complete horror of myself. Where had all this hurt come from? Had I been carrying that all along?

The last thing I wanted was to go to my room and see evidence of Tadashi there so as a last second resort I hid myself away in the bathroom. I collapsed myself down on the floor, back to the wall, and gripped the broken picture frame in my hands. Hot tears ran down my face and I felt like I'd lost control over myself. In mere seconds I was a crying mess, all it took was a picture.

I didn't know how long I sat there crying, it felt like the walls had collpased on me and I was stuck under a pile of rubble away from the world. With how badly my heart ached, I could've sworn my crying would end me. I thought I would pass out. I truly did.

As I moved to wipe my eyes, I flinched at the feeling of something touching my leg. I hadn't heard the door open, I worried I'd been found. It turned out to be Mochi and the fat cat approached me. He tried hopping up in to my lap but failed, meowing for my attention. I picked him up, struggling with his weight, and held him in my lap. Curling my body over Mochi, I hugged him.

The picture frame lay next to me on the bathroom tile as I used Mochi to cry in to. He sat there and let me wet his fur with my tears. He was so soft, it was like holding a pillow. A big fluffy pillow I could hug. Lke the one on my bed...in the room I shared with Tadashi.

I kept telling myself how badly I needed to pull myself together. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Tadashi would be gone. He would finish school and go on to live his life. He would move away, get married and I would see him at Christmas. Maybe Thanksgiving too, with his spouse. And maybe a kid.

The idea of Tadashi moving away to build a life with some man just tormented me further. I wanted him to myself, I didn't want him to leave. Crying over it made me feel stupid. It wasn't like I didn't know I would never have a 'normal' relationship with him. It wasn't like I'd be his husband one day, he was my brother! We couldn't reproduce and it wasn't like someone would hand us over a child, either.

Legally I could never have Tadashi the way I wished I could. No matter how much he touched me, kissed me or loved me, we'd go our separate ways. I just wasn't ready to accept that. Ricky just had to throw it in my face. The worst part was, he didn't have a clue what he did to me. How badly he'd fucked me up the days to follow our car ride. He thought this was all good! He knew nothing!

As I sobbed in to Mochi, I wanted nothing more than for the floor to swallow me. Just to take me away and never bring me back. Like someone had flipped a switch, my existence no longer meant a thing to me. I wanted to disappear. More than that, I just wanted my brother.

"Hiro."

And there he was.

Tadashi's voice scared me. I didn't know he entered the bathroom. I hadn't even heard him come home. He was couched in front of me, staring at my teary face which I very reluctantly lifted off of Mochi. Again my brother's big brown eyes were watching me worriedly, analyzing me. I sniffed and he shook his head, coming in closer to hold my head.

"You're breaking my heart here, Hiro."

I continued to cry, unable to look away from him. He clucked his tongue and drew me in close, pressing his lips to my head. Like before, the kiss felt warm and left me missing him even as he was right there with me. The days that had gone with me avoiding Tadashi backfired more than anything, I couldn't even stop crying to talk to him.

He was patient with me, and stayed there. As moments went on while I cried in to his chest, he comforted me to almost no avail. But in the midst of it all, the smell of oil hit my nostrils, followed by the deodorant my brother used. For some reason, that was really comforting. It dawned on me my brother was still wearing his lab clothes.

"You're home early." I blubbered to him when realizing he wasn't supposed to be home yet.

"That's right, I am."

I took a few deep breathe, fighting will all my might to control myself. I took another whiff of Tadashi's shirt, shutting my eyes in bittersweet relief of what was a smell I knew far too well. It was a smell just purely my brother, making his presence just all the more real. His early presence. He was supposed to be at school in his lab, but he was there right in front of me.

"Why are you home?"

"Because you've had me worried sick and I couldn't focus. You haven't talked to me in days, Hiro." He explained to me, his voice cut roughly aggravation. " Then I come home to you like this..."

My brother's stress was evident, he almost sounded angry. I took it personally, blaming myself for it completely. With my throat closing in on itself I croaked out an apology. It was al I could do.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Oh, Hiro...stop it. What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know..."

Mochie was shooed away by Tadashi before he got his arms around my back. He picked me up and tucked my head under his chin, starting to walk out of the bathroom before he heard something odd. Something crunched under his foot a bit and he paused, looking down. I shifted my eyes to see what it was, spotting the picture I ran to the bathroom with. Seeing the picture frame, Tadashi rubbed my back before continuing out of the bathroom.

In our room, he walked past my bed and went straight for his side of the room. Pulling back the divider, he set me down on his bed. I was situated on my side, a pillow placed under my head, and Tadashi rubbed my shoulder a bit before telling me he would be right back. He needed to shower.

As he left the room, I was left to curl in to myself. Again, missing my brother like he'd slipped away from me.

When Tadashi came back from his shower, I'd already cried myself back to the incoherent mess he found me as on the floor. He didn't come to my side or comment, I heard his dresser open and close. There was the rustling of clothing being put on and then there was a body pressed up behind me. Tadashi got in the bed and as he wrapped an arm around me I stubbornly pressed my face in to his pillow as if it would hide me.

"Are we going to talk about this now or do you want to go another week and destroy yourself?"

I shook my head and Tadashi sighed, coming in closer. He brought a hand up and began playing with my hair, pulling it away from my face as I still had it hidden away from him. His chin rested on my shoulder and he coaxed me softly, worry heavily saturating his voice.

"Come on, Hiro. You need to talk to me. If you don't I'm going to have a talk with Aunt Cass." He cautioned me. "You're acting weird and she went on about taking you to the doctor the other night..."

"I don't need a doctor." I spat out annoyed, though muffled through the pillow. "I'm fine."

"Clearly you're not."

After a vague and sugar coated threat to take me to the emergency room, more specifically the psych ward, Tadashi explained he was just scared for my mental health. My unusual and rather consistent mood swings were concerning to Tadashi who felt I changed drastically in a few days. He wasn't wrong, I wasn't doing too great mental health wise. As always, he figured me out.

"Prove to me you don't need the hospital, please." Tadashi pleaded with me gently. "I don't want to take you there but you're scaring me. This isn't you. It's either I take you or Aunt "

I didn't want to go to the psych ward. For one, I didn't want some doctor picking me apart to see if I was crazy. I didn't want to sleep in some sterile bed surrounded by people who actually needed help because I was in love with my brother. That in itself was reason enough to lock me away, but Tadashi seemed to be coping with it much better. Surely he knew what was to become of us, he wasn't stupid. He wasn't supid and I wasn't crazy, just heartbroken.

"I don't want to go to the hospital...they'll keep me there."

"Just tell me what's wrong."  
"I can't."

With a heavy sigh, Tadashi gave me one last chance to fess up. I refused. Unable to pry it out of me, my brother flipped me over. I was grabbed by the shoulders and pulled up as he intended to get me out of the bed. I begged him not to take me, but he insisted it was what was best. According to him, I was really scaring everyone.

I cried and struggled against his hold but he wouldn't let go. Again he explained I had to go and when he tugged me to sit up, I clung to his chest before he could pull me off the bed. I sobbed, squeezing him as tightly as I could. Tadashi hugged me back.

"Hiro..."

"Don't make me go!" I squeezed him tighter, trembling as his hand rubbed my back. " They'll keep me and you won't be there, I can't go Tadashi. Don't make me! I'll be good! I promise..."

My chin was grabbed and held firmly by Tadashi, his fingers pressed in to my jaw just shy of hurting me. His love for me shone through his eyes, the affection he held that fueled his protective nature. But over such loving eyes were heavily knitted brows, below them a set of tightly pulled lips.

"Talk then."

I wanted to hide my face in to to his chest again but he held my chin firmly. Blinking away tears, I took a shuddering breath. Having no choice, I confessed.

"You're going to leave me." I told him, my stomach churning as I said the words out loud. "You'll finish school and I'll never see you again."

"...do you really think that?"

"I'm only going to see you at Christmas... and you'll be married. But I love you so much. Don't leave me alone."

I was kissed on the mouth, Tadashi not caring about the tears all over my face. He wiped them for me after, rubbing my cheek soothingly afterwards. Bringing is eyes back to mine, he shook his head very lightly, as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard.

"Where did you ever get an idea like that?" He asked me. "I swear, Hiro..that brain of yours is huge and all you do with it is over think."

I didn't tell Tadashi about my run in with Ricky. Or that he'd been the one to feed me such intense insecurity. Even as my brother did his best to assure me he'd always be there for me, I couldn't quite take it to heart. I was paranoid, and scared. I was completely convinced that one day, regardless if it were a year or ten years, I would lose Tadashi to bigger and better things in his life. Deep down I had always feared such things.

Choosing not to argue with me, Tadashi just assured me I had nothing to worry about. He didn't go in to any legal matters, and he didn't talk about what would happen when he was ready to move away but he promised me that in the end I would be with him. When he left, he would take me with him. Whereever and whenever he left, I'd be there too.

"I don't ever want you to cry over this, do you understand me? You're the only person I put before myself and that goes for everything. Nothing, will ever change that."

I was laid back down, my brother holding me to him. Laying there with me, Tadashi was quiet for a bit. He was focused on watching me, making sure I was actually going to be okay. I wanted everything to be okay, but Ricky had left a sour taste in my mouth. A horribly sour taste. I wasn't mad at him, but he gave me a lot to think about. For the time being, I didn't want to do much thinking.

I just wanted my brother.

Xxxxx

"Who wants mac n cheese?"

Aunt Cass placed a pan of freshly baked macaroni and cheese on the table, removing her oven mitt to pick up the spatula. Eating some bread that she set out earlier, I watched as she cut the first piece. She smiled at me and put it on my plate before doling some out to Tadashi.

"Thanks, Aunt Cass."

"You're welcome, Hiro. Dig in, okay?"

Eating dinner was far more comfortable than it had been the week prior. I could actually taste the food and enjoy it, feel it hit my stomach comfortably. My mind still buzzed with lingering worrisome thoughts but compared to what I'd gone through at previous meals, the anxiety was nothing.

Across from me, Tadashi began eating and Aunt Cass took a seat. Serving herself, she then began to eat. She blew on her food carefully before taking a bite. Aunt Cass and Tadashi made comfortable dinner talk, including me every so often. I didn't really feel like talking but did so when asked a question and whatnot.

Over all, the attention at the table wasn't really on me. Aunt Cass did ask how I was feeling. She asked as casually as she could muster but I saw her worry, the way her eyes lingered on me. I told her I was fine and she eased a bit. The topic of my week long withdrawal was briefly mentioned, Aunt Cass checking that I was doing better.

"I'm happy to see you looking better," she told me. "You were starting to sulk for a bit, Hiro. What had you so down, honey?"

"It was nothing..." I explained to her, glancing at Tadashi who stared right back. "Nothing at all."

"Well you know Tadashi and I are always here, Honey."

As the meal went on, Aunt Cass served me seconds. Cutting a big, cheesy piece from the center of the pan she encouraged me to eat. I took a bite, wincing at how hot the cheese was. Right away my aunt worried, concerned that I actually burnt myself. Although the inside of my mouth felt a bit raw, I was fine.

Taking a big drink of water, I cooled off my tongue. Aunt Cass leaned over and kissed my head in a motherly way, doting on me. I promised her I was fine, reminding her I was sixteen. My age didn't matter to her at all, she reminded me that.

"I don't care how old you are, I'm always going to worry. You burned yourself pretty good there, do you need more water?"

Tadashi got up to get me water before I could answer. I sat there awkwardly as he leaned over my shoulder to fill my glass.

"Aww, It always warms my heart how close you are." Our aunt gushed. "Tadashi takes such good care of you."

"He sure does...heh..."

I wasn't expecting a kiss on the cheek, but I got one. Tadashi gave me a quick peck, his back turned to Aunt Cass. He played it off as well intentioned and brotherly, but the small smirk on his face told another story. Aunt Cass make something close to a squeal and went off to get a camera, demanding Tadashi do it again.

"Again, again! Come on, get in closer Tadashi." She directed from behind her camera. "Okay, Hiro. Look at me!"

When he came in close again, I put my arms out and held him away. Aunt Cass whined but took a picture anyway, laughing as she saw it. When she went to put the camera back Tadashi winked at me and went back to his own seat, setting the pitcher of water down on the table.

"I love you two, my silly boys" Aunt Cass chimed as she came back, pinching my cheek. "Getting kisses from your big brother still, you two are so cute."

I argued meekly that I didn't need kisses from my big brother, Tadashi chimed in all too happy to do so.

"Nothing wrong with kisses from your big brother."

"There totally is."

Tadashi raised an eyebrow at me.

"Would you rather I put my hands down your pants...and give you a wedgie?"

Halfway through his sentence I felt my heart stop and my stomach leap to my throat. Tadashi played off his play on words easily, Aunt Cass none the wiser. All I could do was utter a weak 'no', having to recollect myself. My older brother was ballsy...

"You sure?" My brother pried, fighting back a smirk.

"I think I'll pass..."

"If you insist."

Aunt Cast pinched Tadashi, shaking her head.

"Tadashi look how big you are, you'd probably tear his underwear right off him."

I almost choked. Again, I took a big drink of water. Over the rim of my glass I could see Tadashi smiling as Aunt Cass came in close to me and looked at my face, patting my back.

"Tonight is just not his night, huh Tadashi?

"Not yet."

Across from me, Tadashi very blatantly mouthed out to me an answer undetected by Aunt Cass. He subtly gave the stairs leading upstairs a tilt of his head and I immediately knew what I was in for. Of course, it had been a very hard week in more ways than Tadashi and I hadn't been talking, we hadn't being doing certain other things either.


	9. Chapter 9

****Note****

To those who have read this fic before, you have probably noticed that there are less chapters as well as blank chapters. Well, I went back and edited chapters, combining some and fixing up others. I did this because, unfortunately, this fic was written during the early phases of my writing and as time went on I developed a rhythm or style of writing, so to speak.

This fic had the potential to be better so I cleaned it up and such to fit more to my current style of writing. I hope no one is upset over this. No scenes were taken out and only one major change was made. (I went in and made it so that what was originally many chapters stretching out of the events of one day, is not that way anymore.) I didn't want to have to delete chapter 10, 11 and 12's reviews and comments so I left blank documents there until I can get some new chapter updates in there. Sorry for this mild chaos! I just appreciate your feedback so much, I really didn't want to delete the chapters and see the feedback go away!

Anyways, sorry for the long note. Chapters 1-8 are the original story and chapter 9 is new. I hope you guys enjoy : ) Sorry for the long wait! Also, once I get new chapters to fill chapters 10, 11 and 12 I will take down this note so the next readers aren't confused.

xxxxxx

The weeks that followed, Tadashi finished his big project for school. He turned it in and his professor was happy with him. Ecstatic even. BayMax now had a smaller model built for travel. Of course the model was still just a singular unit like BayMax, but he had big plans to create more. He just didn't know how he would go about it yet. But his professor was thrilled regardless.

"BayMax Mini" fit in a seat just like a child did almost, buckled up and the perfect size for transportation, unlike BayMax who could easily take up an entire car if he didn't deflate. The original BayMax was still intact of course because my brother couldn't bear to deconstruct the original robotic nurse he'd put so much time and effort in to building. Tadashi kept him around our house now, having moved him from the garage to our bedroom sometime before the end of the semester to keep him from gathering dust.

Not only did he not gather dust, he watched over me a lot. Which to be totally honest, really unsettled me for a little bit. There was nothing particualrly creepy about BayMax but despite his design that was specifically meant to not intimidate people, especially children, I still found being watched over by the robot uncomfortable. But only because I was being watched, period.

BayMax had a tendency to follow me around and what not, talking to me almost how Tadashi did. He would ask me how I felt even if I hadn't said "ow". Soon I noticed he would scan me without prompt too. When I brought it up to Tadashi he said that BayMax was just doing what any real nurse would do with a patient under their care.

"He's programmed to respond to voice cues that signal pain, but he's also programmed to do regular nurse maintenance." He reminded me. "Just let him do his thing. He'll gather what he needs then leave you alone for a while. It's just his routine."

BayMax was definetly one of Tadashi's better inventions even if I got saddled with being his patient. I had actually been looking over BayMax, just watching him for a few minutes on his charger, when I heard Tadashi's Moped ride up past the side of the house. A quick look to the bedroom window and I saw his helmet zip by around the corner. I had remembered him saying it was his last day of class for the semester, and curious to how his project went I got up from bed to greet him in the kitchen.

As I left the room I could hear the front door unlock. The keys jingled and turned in the lock and soon Tadashi was opening the wooden door. Aunt Cass was in the kitchen and she perked up as Tadashi came in smiling wide. As I came to the bottom of the stairs I saw Aunt Cass drop what she was doing to dry her hands on a dish rag and go over to Tadashi who had a handful of multiple envelopes.

"Tadashi, Honey! Let me see! Let me see!"

My brother came home with his final grades, excited for the Summer to start. He looked so relieved and proudly showed Aunt Cass his project grade along with his final grades for the classes he'd taken. Along with A's that he had busted his ass working for, he also came home with dozens of internship offers. Dozens.

"Oh, look at all this! Tadashi I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Aunt Cass."

"You did so well! Look at all these companies that want you!"

Aunt Cass gushed and praised Tadashi for his hard work, looking through the pile of offers given to my brother. She put them down suddenly in a flurry of excitement and hugged Tadashi around the midsection, swaying from side to side so happily. As she doted on him I let my eyes wander to one of the envelopes left on the table, the pile having slipped and fanned out. I chewed the inside of my lip, swallowing as I saw one offer in particular was from a big company... and it was across the coast.

Tadashi met my eyes over Aunt Cass's head, assuring me silently that everything was okay. He gave me a small smile and seeing his brown eyes shimmer gave me some sense of relief. Still... the heap of offers he had on the table was a foreboding reminder of sorts that my brother was getting his life together and would eventually have to accept one of those offers.

Aunt Cass suddenly announced we would be going out to eat in celebration, I didn't dread much about it except having to actually shower and get ready to eat at an actual restaurant. Before I went off to get ready like I was told to, Aunt Cass gave Tadashi another big congratulations. She kissed his cheek and then went to finish the dishes she had abandoned when Tadashi came in.

"I'm always so proud of my boys!" she sang as she returned to the sink. "Now both of you be ready in an hour, okay? Hiro, go get out of those pj's and in to the shower! Pronto, okay?"

"Yes, Aunt Cass..."

Walking back towards the stairs I held in the groan of annoyance. I was happy for my brother but I really didn't want my lazy day interrupted. I had planned on going back to my room to play a game on the computer or something but Tadashi's success merited a dinner celebration. Up the stairs I went, Tadashi staying downstairs to grab a drink from the fridge.

Inside my room I stripped my shirt off and dropped it in the hamper, my pants following soon after. When my underwear came off I grabbed a towel I'd left on my desk chair to wrap about my waist and make my way to the bathroom. Shutting the bathroom door behind myself, I jumped in surprise as something wedged itself in. Tadashi had gotten his foot in the door before I could shut it completely.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as he let himself in. "Get out! I have to shower."

"I have to shower too."

"You showered this morning!"

Tadashi rolled his eyes and pinched my nose. In retaliation I swatted his hands away.

"I've been at school all day. It's hot out and I need to shower."

"Then wait your turn!" I snapped back, looking to the door behind my brother. "Our Aunt is home."

"She won't come looking for us. Relax."

I didn't feel like argueing so I let Tadashi have his way. As we stood in the shower washing off, I peeked behind myself to make sure he was behaving himself. He met my stare as he scrubbed under one arm, raising his brow in a cockily curious manner. He knew exactly what I was thinking but just to burn my ass he winked.

"You're impossible."

My huffed comment and pink cheeks made Tadashi snicker. I ignored him and began washing between my legs, moving backwards to clean my ass. With a palm of soap I washed well, and used the excess sud to wash around my thighs and lowered back. The shower rinsed me off all the soap and I moved on to wash my hair. Bent at the waist a bit I leaned my head down to get all the shampoo out.

"So where are we going to eat? Do you know?" I asked.

"Probably the steakhouse, you know Aunt Cass." He answered me. "I don't care either way."

"You love steak though."

"Craving rump roast, to be honest."

Running my fingers through my hair with one hand, I blinding reached for the conditioner and squeezed a little out on to my head. As I set it down I scoffed at my brother.

"It's a steakhouse, I'm sure they have rump roast. They specialize in red meat."

"Not really the kind of meat I'm after."

Finger-combing my hair was interrupted by the sudden sensation of my ass being grabbed. I stood up straight and Tadashi pushed me back in to my bent over position. The soft pads of his fingertips grazed over my entrance and shortly after I could feel the blunt tip of Tadashi'erection rubbing me. It poked my rear and I panicked.

"Aunt Cass is HOME." I reminded him, breaking free of the hold he had on me. "Are you crazy?"

Tadashi pulled me in to him and kissed me square on the mouth. I struggled against him but became still as he picked me up and held me flush in to his chest with my legs wrapped around his waist. His tongue in my mouth was something I had difficulty really having an issue with... and the close feeling of just being in his hold was heavenly. When I gave in to the kiss is when my brother decided to come out from it.

"We don't have much time right now anyways..." he said remorsefully but thoughtful. "But we will have plenty more time tonight. And I anticipate you'll be on board."

"No promises."

Tadashi put me down, not believing my answer for a second. He was smart not to because I really did want some time with him. Preferably unlimited time versus the hour limit we had to get ready for dinner. As we showered Tadashi's arousal didn't go down and as tempting as his wet, hard cock looked, I ignored it and finished rinsing off. I could worry about that after dinner.

Xxxxx

Aunt Cass didn't have us dress up but we were told to wear nice clothing, dressy casual was the guideline. She took a photo of us together then loaded us up in to her car. The steakhouse wasn't too far. Somewhere between downtown and where we lived. While driving we passed the high school I used to go to. Aunt Cass looked at it then at my less than fond regard towards the building that as far as I was concerned could burn down to the ground in ashes.

"Hiro, do you and that friend of yours from high school still talk?" She asked me. "What was his name, again? It's Ricky, right?"

From the back seat I could see Aunt Cass looking at me through the rear view mirror. I could also see Tadashi's side long peek from the passenger seat mirror. He was more interested in my answer than Aunt Cass. Unlike our aunt who had a well intended curiosity, my brother was expecting an specific answer.

Unknown to either of them, I avoided Ricky for weeks. Ignoring his messages that popped up in my inbox. I was mad at him and my anger only grew the more time I spent with my brother. Romantic feelings for him or not, I still loved him in a brotherly way. And I was offended that Ricky was so intent of getting Tadashi away from me. All because he wanted to be let around me.

Tadashi may have had a lot of control over what I did because I let him, but at the end of the day I was old enough to decide whether I wanted to be around Ricky. And I decided I wanted space from Ricky, even if he was my only friend. Not yet having the patience to sit down and talk to him about how he hurt and offended me, I just left him hanging. He had no clue the panic and anxiety he instilled in me that day. And he wouldn't know any time soon.

"I haven't spoken to him in a bit..."

Tadashi's eyes were still on me and Aunt Cass was oblivious. Her eyes were worrisome in the rearview mirror and I scratched at the material of my pants. Her plucked brows were knitted sadly. Aunt Cass knew I struggled socially in school. Aside from the bullying and isolation, she also knew I'd only ever made one friend.

"Did something happen, Honey?"

"No. He's just been busy lately." I lied, trying to appease her worry. "It's okay."

"Well make sure you don't lose contact. I would hate for you to lose a friend."

Tadashi crossed his arm and leaned back in to his chair a little bit. As nonchalantly as he could muster he dissmissed Aunt Cass's suggestion.

"Hiro doesn't need a friend like that."

"Oh, Tadashi. I'm sure Ricky is a fine person."

"You don't really know him."

"Everyone has a reputation. Can't believe everything you hear."

I could see it in my older brother's posture that he didn't like the conversation at hand. To avoid getting himself too invested, he let it go. But not without a final thought.

"Hiro can do better." He stated, looking right at me through the mirror. "I don't want him hanging around with that guy. If he knows what's he worth he'll steer clear of him."

It was quiet for the rest of the short ride to the steakhouse. I didn't know what to say following that conversation and neither did Aunt Cass either. She always tried to see the best in people and being she really didn't know much of Ricky's reputation, she really couldn't see where Tadashi's harsh criticism was coming from. I knew Ricky was a player and notorious for getting in to trouble downtown, but aside from that I didn't have too many issues with him as a person. None except for his manipulative personality. That I finally could see he had.

Tadashi didn't want me around him but even with that I chose to keep my distance for a bit based on my own irritation with him. Although, my irritation was just petty. I didn't care though. I still needed time to get over it. Shrugging my shoulders at Tadashi, I got him to take that prying brown eyed stare off of me.

Pulling in to the parking lot Aunt Cass was cheerful again. She parked and we all undid our seat belts to get out. I was the first one out, ancy from the conversation that had just taken place. When my brother and aunt got out we went in and requested a booth from the young woman working the front counter.

"Let me see..." She trailed off, looking at the map of tables available."We can seat you three in the right."

That same employee fulfilled our seat request right away and led us to a booth on the right side of the restaurant. She promised our waiter would be over soon then resumed her position at the front counter. Aunt Cass took one side of the booth while Tadashi took the other. They both looked at me, apparently expecting me to sit with one of them. Tadashi patted the empty seat next to him and Aunt Cass pouted as I slowly sidled up to my brother.

"Now I'm over here all alone." She teased, purposely giving me light hearted grief. "Hiro, remember when you'd sit next to me? You were so little. Where does the time go?"

"I don't know..."

I cleared my throat at the doting shine my aunt had in her eyes. She looked at me so fondly then at Tadashi. Her eyes glazed over a bit, moisture surfacing there. I swallowed dryly as Aunt Cass folded her hands under her chin and visibly withheld from getting choked up.

"I can't believe how fast you two grew up." She told us, eyes now specifically on my brother. "Now you're almost done with college. I'm so happy for you but it breaks my heart to think you'll be graduating and moving away to work for some big company. Oh, but I couldn't be more proud."

Tadashi went to speak but we were interrupted by our waiter arriving. I froze as soon as I heard him speak from next to me. Every hair on my body stood up.

"Hi there, my name is Ricky. And I'll be your server today."

We all looked over to him, my Aunt being the quicker of us all. She wiped the inner corners of her eyes and excused herself before then greeting Ricky warmly. Tadashi said nothing and neither did I.

"Hello, Ricky. I didn't know you worked here, Sweetie." Aunt Cass remarked before smiling. "Small world."

"I guess some places will hire all sorts."

My brother's comment was passive aggressive at best with his sarcasm poorly hidden. My aunt's eyes widened is confusion and she looked over at Ricky with skepticism, worried Tadashi had offended him. Ricky grinned simply, composed and almost satisfied.

"My uncle owns this place so it wasn't hard getting in." He explained, grin growing tighter. "College really isn't for everyone. So, I've been working here since high school graduation. It's a living."

Ricky handed us our menus, starting with Aunt Cass. He handed one to Tadashi and in turn my brother took it and opened it, eyes up at Ricky.

"Working is a living." Tadashi stated back bluntly. "Guess you should be pretty busy."

A menu was handed to me and Ricky held eye contact with me, his hand lingering before he let go. His green eyes defied the friendly face he presented for work. The way he was looking at me told me he was not too happy with me. He wasn't enraged but an evident annoyance was there. Especially towards my older brother.

"I make free time when I can."

"I'm sure you do."

Looking at my aunt, Ricked resumed his workplace appearance and conduct. Asking her what she wanted to drink, he pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. Aunt Cass ordered a lemonade and he jotted it down. Eyes on Tadashi, he didn't ask. He waited for him to speak up. My brother ordered a ginger ale and my aunt jumped in, insisting he could order an alcoholic beverage if he wanted to.

"We're celebrating you." She insisted. "You should get something special."

"Ginger ale is fine. My stomach could use it."

Ricky scribbled his drink down then looked at me, eyebrow quirked. Feeling extremely uncomfortable I averted my eyes to the table and ordered a soda. That wasn't specific enough.

"What kind?" He asked.

"Any is fine..."

"We have the gummy bear brand now. Do you want that?"

Nodding without thinking to even tell him what flavor I wanted, I let him put me down for some of the sugary candy flavored soda that had become a staple in our town amongst kids and teenagers. The gimmicky drink that was one of many could be found in various vending machines, gas stations and supermarkets. There may have been a colorful label stuck to the brand like the other products advertised to youth, but it was one product that actually tasted good.

After Ricky left the table I took a breath and looked up at my family. Aunt Cass had a look of realization then her attention was on me.

"You didn't tell your friend what flavor you wanted. Don't those silly drinks come in different colors?"

"They do..." I affirmed. "I like the red one but it's fine. Whatever he brings me is fine."

Tadashi made a comment about Ricky being mediocre at his job if he couldn't remember to ask the customer what flavor they wanted. Aunt Cass hushed him then asked him if his stomach was too upset to eat.

"I feel better now."

"That was fast."

"It was passing."

Stare stuck on my brother, Aunt Cass was quiet. The gears in her head turned bit. After a moment she came to a conclusion, or at least she began to.

"Tadashi, you shouldn't act like that toward's Hiro's friend just because you don't like him."

"Well I have strong feelings about who Hiro shouldn't be hanging around."

"I'm his guardian, let me worry about those things."

There was a look shared between my aunt and brother, Tadashi reluctantly consenting to our aunt. Aunt Cass looked down at her menu, announcing we should start figuring out what we wanted to eat. Looking over our menus consisted of Aunt Cass and Tadashi talking to one another, debating what they wanted. Food was the last thing on my mind. I opened my menu just to keep appearances but didn't give it much thought or time. I felt like I was being watched, the feeling sucking my appetite right from me. An anxious feeling blossomed in the pit of my stomache, a dark cloud beginning to loom over me.

"Here you go."

I jumped as Ricky walked past me and put Aunt Cass's drink down. Tadashi got his and then a glass filled with ice was set in front of me along with a tall glass bottle of soda. Ricky placed his serving tray down then fished a bottle opener from his black apron, picking up the bottle and opening it he then poured the contents in to my glass.

"Was that the flavor you wanted, Hiro?" Tadashi questioned as Ricky collected the empty bottle and cap.

Despite a tension brewing between my friend and brother, Ricky looked content and confident with himself. He answered for me, having no qualm doing so.

"Of course it is." Ricky answered for me.

"I don't recall you asking what flavor he wanted."

"Well he likes the red one."

Tadashi was unimpressed and pressed the issue casually. Belittling Ricky while Aunt Cass was none the wiser of what was going on. She watched the exchanged in a laid back manner, sipping from her lemonade and looking over the menu.

"He could have wanted a different one." My brother challenged.

"Well as his friend I assumed he would want his favorite flavor."

"Well now it's not really your job to assume, now is it?"

At that remark Aunt Cass put her drink down and gave Tadashi a concerned stare.

"Tadashi, don't be rude. What has gotten in to you?"

Tadashi didn't respond. Aunt ass then looked at me for some indicator of what was going on. I coughed uncomfortably and fiddled with the straw to my drink before taking a sit to wet my throat. Meekly, I thanked Ricky for the drink.

"Thanks Ricky..." I mumbled. "This was the one I wanted."

"That's what I thought."

With an air of victory about him, Ricky jutted his chin out cockily as my Aunt had looked away for a minute to rifle through her purse. Announcing he would be back to take our orders in a bit, Ricky left. But first he was sure to brush a bent finger up the back up my neck as he walked away. Tadashi didn't see it. Luckily Aunt Cass had just plucked her phone from her purse and showed him a text from her friend Karen.

"I texted Karen the good news while you two were getting ready and she texted me back. " she explained as Tadashi took her cell phone for a moment to read the text. "Be sure to type back a 'thank you'."

The restaurant was a perfectly comfortable temperature and I wasn't wearing anything heavy, but I felt like the air around me was suddenly too warm. I drank more to cool off but it didn't help the way I needed it to. My face was warm and just as Tadashi was handing back Aunt Cass's phone I excused myself to use the bathroom.

By the time my brother looked up me and my red face were already out of sight. I didn't hear him follow me but peeked over my shoulder just to make sure. I realized half way through my dash from the table that I'd gone that wrong way to the bathroom. Turning back around I cringed as I saw my booth in the distance.

Tadashi was looking out over the floor space, probably keeping an eye out for Ricky. He wasn't serving any tables right that second, actually he wasn't within eyesight at all. When my brother looked back down at his menu I made a move to dash across the floor space. The bathroom was around the corner from the kitchen and as I approached the corner a door from the kitchen swung open.

"Woah!"

I yelped, backing away quickly from a waiter with a loaded tray. As a result I lost my balance and fell on my ass. Thankfully I was far enough away from the dining area that no one saw me or heard the commotion over the general noise of the restaurant.

"S-Sorry! I'm so sorry."

The waiter tried to assure me it was alright but being I was completely embaressed out of my mind and nervous, I sat there for a moment with my cheeks pink. The waiter began put the tray down presumably to help me up but I shook my head and got up on my own. Around the corner I disappeared to the men's bathroom. All the stalls were empty but I ran to the handicap stall being it was farthest away from the door.

Locking the stall behind myself, I leaned with my back to the door and took a deep breath. My face felt hot and I clapped a hand over my face, vividly reliving the previous few minutes with pure cringe. Groaning to myself in the empty space I stepped away and sat on the toilet after placing the lid down.

I plopped down and held my face, pulling my hair back by the bangs.

The entrance to the bathroom opened and I stayed quiet when my name was called. It was Ricky. When I didn't answer him he walked up to my stall since it was the only one with a shut door. He stood outside my stall and knocked.

"Hiro. You okay?"

I lost my voice for a moment, mostly because I didn't know what to say. Was I okay? Probably not.

"I'm fine, I guess..." I answered, my voice quiet and unsure. "I just needed some privacy."

"Well my coworker said you just wiped out by the kitchen and booked it in here. You checking your ass for a bruise or something?"

My embarrassment only grew and I snapped a 'no' at Ricky. He leaned against the door and gave a short chuckle at my embarrassed and defensive denial. His tone grew serious again when he asked me again if I was okay. Again I didn't know what to say because I really didn't know if I was okay. I didn't feel it. Not in any way really.

"Ricky I-"

"Open the door."

I faltered at his request, feeling it was more a demand. I didn't totally feel like it was an option, that itself made me more apprehensive. I told him no, that I wasn't going to open the door. Ricky sighed but didn't back off. I heard him sigh loud and clear. His fingers tap along the door thoughtfully.

"I don't know what's going on with you but you're acting funny." He told me. "This is unusual, even for you."

"You know I kind of resent that,Ricky."

"Well I'm just saying."

I wasn't mad by what Ricky said but shit like that hurt to hear. I didn't need any reminders that I was awkward or that I didn't fit in. Especially not from Ricky of all people, he knew better than anyone how hard it was for me. He was the only one close to me who'd seen it first hand. Tadashi knew I struggled socially because he was the one always home with me and dealing with the aftermath of it but Ricky had actually been there for some moments... even if it was just the bot fighting scene.

I could remember clear as day multiple occasions where bot fighters tried to hustle me because I was young teenager. They saw a fourteen year old kid and thought they'd get the better of me. Of course I'd win and they were extraordinarily unhappy with the turn in events. One by one those assholes handed over their money and I'd take it with a scowl and triumphant huff. That became routine after a while but Ricky always encouraged me to be proud of myself. If a hustler was low enough to target a kid, and I beat them, then I should take that with stride. That's what Ricky would tell me.

He had my back and never hesitated to physically take on anyone who looked at me the wrong way. Of course being Ricky had a reputation, they always backed down. But that was something I had to give Ricky credit for even if I was mad at him. He would have knocked out anyone for me, nothing could keep him from protecting me downtown. Not even men twice his size.

Yet he was so cautious of the door we had between us.

"Hiro just let me in for minute, will ya? I can only sneak away for so long before my uncle comes looking for me."

Cautiously I stood from the toilet and approached the stall door. I paused with my hand on the lock and the door was pressed in, showing Ricky was still leaning on it.

"I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. Just open the door."

The door clicked with the lock coming undone. I stepped aside and let Ricky push the door in. He shut the door behind himself and relocked it. The sound of it clicking locked again made me tense. He saw my reaction and rolled his eyes but let it go.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, right to the point.

"I'm not."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Just be honest with me. Why are you avoiding me?"

I couldn't be completely honest with him even if I really wanted to. So I shrugged my shoulders and stood there awkwardly. Ricky pressed me for an answer and I couldn't give him the one he wanted. I couldn't tell him I was madly in love with my brother, infatuated and completely heartbroken when he'd told me Tadashi would be out of the picture. And that he wanted him gone more than anything. How fucked up I'd gotten over the cruel reality that my brother would have to move on in life, my mind automatically assuming he wouldn't want me anymore.

"Hiro, I don't have all day. If you can't cough it up now I can pick you up after work."

"No you can't. Tadashi doesn't want me hanging around you."

I was quick to use my brother as scapegoat. It wasn't a lie. Ricky inhaled through his nose and let it out in aggravation. I looked at him then away.

"You haven't talked to him yet, have you? Look, I told you-"

"And I told you that my brother doesn't want me hanging around you." I interrupted him.

"Awfully ballsy all of a sudden, aren't we?"

Eyes narrowed, Ricky stepped in closer to me. I backed up reflexively and he stared at me long and hard. His green eyes could have burned holes through me.

"What is this really about?" He asked me, adamant that I give him an answer. "If this was really some obedience thing to your brother you wouldn't be acting so fucking weird right now. "

"Well I'm always weird, remember? You and everyone knows that. Just leave me alone."

"You're too smart for this stupid shit, Hiro."

I lost my nerve under Ricky's hard stare and withered in to myself. I had a hard time looking right at him but tried. Eyes glued to the floor I gave up, feeling completely trapped. I didn't want to talk anymore. I wanted out of the bathroom and I wanted to be next to my brother. More importantly, I wanted to get away from Ricky.

He came in closer, to my displeasure, and brought his face in close to mine. I swallowed heavily and his eyes darted down to see my Adam's apple move. There was a moment of hesitation before he kissed my forehead. I blinked down at the floor in disbelief. Ricky's lips lingered.

" You can't just hide behind your big brother all the time, Hiro. I can protect you too. You know that."

"I'm not looking to be protected."

The entrance to the bathroom opened and an employee called for Ricky, telling him he was needed out on the floor. Ricky called back that he would be right there. When the door shut again he looked down at me, carefully placing a hand on my hip.

"I'll message you later. Answer this time."


	10. Chapter 10

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here's an update! Hope you're all doing well!

xxxxx

To Tadashi's chagrin that evening. Aunt Cass left Ricky a good tip. He queried what Ricky had done that merited such gratitude and generosity. We had just ordered our dessert, Tadashi not partaking for lack of sweet tooth. He had coffee, sipping from the mug filled halfway with milk as Aunt Cass picked at a slice of cheesecake while I waited on a brownie hot fudge sundae.

When my dessert arrived, it came in the big, decorative frosty glass it was always served in. Except, this time around, I couldn't help but notice how much bigger it looked. There was no doubt more brownie chunks at the bottom. Instead of chunks it looked like an actual slice wedged in there. Plus, there was extra whipped cream on top heaps of ice cream. Aunt Cass was amazed, slightly jealous that she hadn't gotten what I ordered..

"Hiro, Honey. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to steal a bite of that." She warned as she twirled her spoon joyfully. "That looks amazing. Do the sundaes always look that good? I don't remember."

"Totally." I lied, knowing it was way bigger than usual. "Go ahead, have some. This is more than I can probably comfortably eat, anyways. I'm sort of full from Dinner... this looks good, though."

"Don't mind if I do. Thank you, Sweetums."

I spooned a bite out and Aunt Cass followed my example. She made a sound of contentment when the treat reached her mouth. Tadashi watched as I ate, looking at the Sundae with a mild annoyance.

"He laid it on thick."

"Oh, I know." Aunt Cass agreed. "The hot fudge is heavenly."

"…"

Our Aunt's obliviousness made me chortle without thought but I stopped on a dime at Tadashi's side glance. He wasn't impressed or amused. I took another bite, smiling with cheek cold and filled as he shook his head. Aunt Cass was sort of...air headed... at times. She didn't notice. Aside from that, I didn't find much about the situation humorous. I knew exactly who had arranged for my dessert to come out so special. It didn't sit well with me.

It sat worse with my brother.

I ate the sundae, however. Contently too. A brownie sundae was still a brownie sundae, no matter the offering behind it. The dessert was delicious, but it was just a bit harder to eat it with Tadashi watching me the way he did. It was like he was caught between wanting to see me enjoy myself and not wanting to eat the mess of sugar. That, and maybe some jealousy. Someone else had made me happy.

Aunt Cass had helped me finish the piling, mountain of ice cream that became Tadashi's nemesis for the time it'd taken us to consume it. Since it was so good, our aunt was sure to thank Ricky on our way out of the restaurant. She smiled brightly at him and told him that he didn't have to put my dessert on his tab how he had done. He shrugged, making sure to give Tadashi direct eye contact. Precise alignment of their pupils.

"I'm a good friend." He dismissed. "I take good care of Hiro. And I always will, don't you worry."

Xxxxx

Door to our room locked and entire house quiet, I laid alongside Tadashi in his bed. Along the wooden floor our pajamas were left in a heap. Soft cloth discarded and deemed useless by my brother. His long arm held me around the waist as his hot, bare chest pressed in to my back. My cheeks were still warm, my skin damp with perspiration. He kissed me so gently along the curve of my shoulder.

Still trying to catch my breath from our toss in the sheets, I laid there almost limply. Tadashi's erection hadn't left as it confidently pressed in to me, making it clear what he wanted. I resisted slightly as he tried rolling me on to my back. Pulling away, I made my way to the edge of his bed for sanctuary... and a much-needed anal resting. For fucks sake.

"I'm sore..."

"I'll be gentler with you this time."

"Well, I don't think I have another one in me tonight. Stay over there."

Tadashi didn't try to coax me in to it, instead he followed me to the edge of his bed where I'd pulled away to so invasively. He resumed spooning me snuggly, resting his head above mine. My eyes were set on the screen door shielding us, my eyes barely able to see it in the dark. The light shining in through the window was just enough that I could also see his desk. On top of it were his bookbag and the stack of letters I still wasn't happy about. My stomach bubbled.

"Why are you all the way over here, anyways? Don't like my hugs anymore?"

Tadashi's question made me laugh dryly. It wasn't funny. I didn't think it was cute either. It wasn't charming, clever or in good taste. If anything, the question chaffed me from angles all around. Like a new brillo pad to my raw asshole.

"That's a stupid question."

"We can't all be geniuses."

Jutting a skinny shoulder back towards my brother, I scoffed. To both my relief, Tadashi switched the topic. To my dismay, however, it was one I didn't want to talk about. And Tadashi knew it.

"You're not still all hung up on those letters, are you?"

My silence ate up the air long enough for Tadashi to gather an understanding. His hand came up to idly trace my collarbone, lips touching the back of my neck. With the brotherly voice I'd heard my whole life, Tadashi promised me everything would be alright.

"You can't really promise me that, though..." I argued, scratching at Tadashi's bedsheets gently. "Don't promise me that anymore."

"I just did."

"I know..."

I swallowed thickly as Tadashi ran his fingers through my hair so lovingly.

"It would take something pretty big to separate us, Hiro. You know that."

Xxxxx

It was close to Eleven when a buzzing woke me up. Somewhere beyond the separator of Tadashi's side of the room my cellphone was buzzing. Tadashi's arm was around me, pinning me to the mattress as he slept heavily. As the buzzing continued, I knew exactly who it was trying to call me.

Getting Tadashi's arm off of me was no easy feat. I had to lift it carefully, struggling against the heavy, dead weight. When I freed myself, I grabbed my pajamas off his floor and made my way to my side of the room. My phone was left in a hooded sweatshirt. I picked it up and fished the phone out, quietly answering the call.

"What happened to messaging?"

"You weren't online and I sent you texts."

"...oh...sorry."

Ricky was forgiving.

"No worries, just glad you picked up." He told me, the sound of his car door opening in shutting in the background. "I just finished closing with my uncle. You looking to be picked up?"

"Um, Ricky... I don't know if that's a good idea."

"I'm real tired of having to jump through hoops, Hiro. Is your brother asleep?"

"Yeah, he is..."

"I'll have you home before sunrise. Wait for me outside."

Aunt Cass was passed out in her bedroom with Mochi snoring next to her, the television still on. I gently shut her door and Tadashi's before I left the house. As promised, Ricky pulled up as I sat on the sidewalk with my hoodie pulled over my head. When the car pulled up I went up to the passenger side door and got in.

"Hey, you." He greeted me as I buckled in, still in his work clothes.

"Hey, Ricky. Where are we going?"

"My place. I need to shower this day off me."

Ricky lived with his parents in the run -down part of town. Some old two-family house that his parents owned, sharing the space with those they rented to. His parents lived on the first floor and their renters lived on the second. The attic was also finished, which some relative of Ricky's used to rent. The house was big but needed work. It was livable though.

"So, you haven't been over this year." Ricky commented as we pulled in to his drive way. "I don't live with my folks anymore."

"...but we're at your house."

"The attic is mine now."

That surprised me as Ricky led me up the stairs and towards the second floor.

"My cousin was acting like a fucking looney so my parents kicked him out."

"Since when do you parents give a shit what other people do?"

"There were some noise complaints and the cops got involved. Parents don't like cops sniffing around. Makes us look bad."

According to Ricky, the attic was his now. They couldn't get anyone "decent" enough to rent it so they just let Ricky have it after months of pestering them about it. He had the space decked out with his bedroom furniture as well as some futon I didn't recognize at first. Ricky saw me eyeing it.

"The neighbors didn't want it. Some relative of theirs gave it to their daughter for college. Brand new and the bitch had the nerve to turn her nose up at it like she lives in high class or something. It was for her loft, Whatever, her loss."

"I guess so. It's nice. I don't see why she didn't want it."

"Some people just don't know how to be grateful."

The attic was like a studio apartment, almost. Had a bathroom and small kitchen that consisted of a range and fridge, a few cupboards on the wall and a shelf nearby. It looked nicer than the floor below us. I was impressed. Ricky was living on his own like a bachelor. His parents just let him be. Speaking of his parents, he excused himself for a moment to answer his mom as she called him. Apparently, she saw him pull in and wanted to let him know he was welcome to come and pick up a plate of food if he was hungry.

I was left to sit on the futon as he went downstairs to get the food, coming back minutes later with a sub sandwich, a big bag of chips and a 2 liter of soda. His mom was a sweet person and loved him. He made enough to feed himself but she still sent him food.

The soda and chips were set on the counter, the sandwich going in the fridge for later on. Ricky began unbuttoning his work shirt, walking towards the bathroom to clean up. Before the door shut he reminded me that there was a game system I was free to use while he was gone.

"I got the new system a few weeks back, have at it."

By the television the console was sitting, one controller next to it. The shower water came on and I went over to turn on the television and grab the controller. Seated on the futon, I began tinkering around with the game Ricky had in it. I soon came to the conclusion that I knew what I'd be putting on my Christmas list that year. Or what I'd ask for when my birthday came around.

Ricky then emerged from the bathroom with a towel as I tried my damned best to act natural. He should have taken his change of clothes in with him before showering. Just my luck, he didn't. Of course.

"I'm gonna eat once I get dressed." Ricky announced as he walked behind the futon. "You hungry? We can split this sandwich. Mom makes 'em big. Plenty of chips to go with it."

Stiff and uncomfortable, I declined the offer. I wasn't really hungry. I could've eaten, but Ricky being near naked killed any possibility of me wanting to accept anything from him. Anything.

The sound of a dresser being opened and shut comforted me for a second until the sound of a towel dropping followed it. Behind me Ricky was naked. And thankfully also getting dressed. He was plopped down next to me once he grabbed his food, the crinkly bag of chips between us as he balanced a plate on his knee. Red solo cup of soda on the floor, he reached down for a sip as he watched me play.

"You're nervous." He stated after a casual swallow, placing the cup down again as he returned to his food. "What up with that?"

"...Are we just going to keep pretending you're not trying to get in to my pants?"

"You're the one pretending that's all I'm interested in."

Shutting down my half-annoyed retort with a passive aggressive come back of his own, Ricky took another bite. The bag of chips crinkled as he reached for another handful to put on his plate. The chips landed on the ceramic with a gentle clatter, one being popped in his mouth.

"Mom always says either you're smart, or you have common sense. You can't have both." He said. "Since you're so smart I won't go any further than that."

Having nothing to say, I didn't say anything. Ricky let me sink in to my silent rut while he ate. When finished, he set his dish aside and put the chips away. He came back after washing the plate, this time sitting notably closer to me. He leaned an elbow on the back of the couch, watching me. At that point, I had to stop pretending I was actually immersed in the game. Ricky set the controller aside and carefully invaded my personal space. Of course, I backed away.

"This needs to stop." Ricky told me, serious and without sugar to coat the delivery. "Why are you avoiding me? And don't give me any of this 'Tadashi doesn't you' bullshit. I already know he hates me."

Still, I didn't respond. I felt so pressured, Ricky taking on such a stand-offish tone. He was aggravated. I couldn't blame him, I'd be aggravated too if someone wouldn't answer a question I'd pestered over multiple times. When I kept mute, Ricky came in closer. He looked me in the eye.

His own eyes, they were beautiful. Green like Spring grass and double lidded, unlike my own brown eyes. I was almost jealous. As I stared at Ricky's eyes, I was faced with the determination sparked within them. It should have been unbearable, I wasn't good at being analyzed like that. I was always too scared that maybe all my secrets would bleed through.

To my surprise, I was able to hold Ricky's stare. I focused on keeping the eye contact. I stayed so focused that when Ricky brought his face within an inch of mine, I hadn't even moved away. His lips lingered by mine, just far enough not to touch.

"Whatever you're so scared of, I'm sure it's nothing I couldn't handle."

"I really can't tell you."

"No, you're choosing not to tell me."

A sigh and Ricky averted his eyes to the swell of my lips. He shook his head softly.

"If you're not going to talk, do me a favor. Just come here."

There I was again, cornered by Ricky as he laid his mouth on me. It was a blur as he pulled me down to lay across the futon, moving me away from the armrest that had been pressed in to my back uncomfortably. He'd grabbed my knees and dragged my body where he wanted it, then his weight was pressing down on me.

The kiss escalated, and as his hands began to wander I tried to find that spark. I tried so hard. Ricky's tongue was down my throat and his hands were under my shirt meanwhile my own hands were clutching at his shoulders tightly. The futon's material scratched against my jeans for a moment before I raised my hips to meet Ricky's.

Our kiss was interrupted as I yanked my mouth away, taking a deep breath and holding it. The corners of my eyes watered. Ricky felt as my body went rigid, my fingers clutching him as my body began to quake. His voice dropped to a whisper, his lips by my ear.

"Hiro, what's wrong?"

"I-I..I just-" I whimpered, frustrated with myself. "I just want this to feel good."

My problem seemed so minor to Ricky. He kissed my cheek to sooth me, pressing my body to lie flat along the futon again. The zipper to my jeans were undone slowly, his hand slipping inside like it belonged there.

"I'll make you feel good." He promised me. "You just have to let me."

As Ricky took my cock between his fingers he had no clue exactly what was weighing on me. I was erect from his bodily contact, but I wasn't aroused. I hid my face in his shirt as he stroked, eyes welling up. The stimulation wasn't what I wanted it to be like. It was overwhelming but numb at the same time.

When my peak approached, I found myself begging and holding my breath. It was obvious I wasn't enjoying myself. Ricky took his hand back, easing his chest away from my face where I was hiding it.

"You're so scared, it's painful to watch."

"I don't know what you're talking about. J-Just keep going."

"What are you so scared of?"

"...I'm scared this wil never feel right."

My answer intrigued Ricky. He took his hand back, running it over my belly. Resting his head next to mine he laid himself down by my side. The futon was still folded up like a couch, but it fit us together just fine. My pants were still unzipped, but I was tucked away. Ricky had ensured that.

"This isn't about being gay, is it?" He said more to himself than me. "Somethings knocking around up there."

"Forget I said anything. I think I want to go home."

"Your brother can wait."

"This isn't about my brother!"

I snapped at him, not meaning to. It just happened. My uneasiness left Ricky with a brow cocked and interest peaked.

"It isn't?" he goaded me. "That's why I totally didn't just touch a nerve, right?"

"I'm leaving. I'll walk home. I don't care."

My escape route wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be. When I sat up, Ricky followed me. I had tried zipping up my pants but he stopped me. Hands caught in his I was cornered, again. Trying to pull my hands back didn't work.

"Hiro." Ricky demanded. "Talk to me."

"Let go."

A struggle ensued, all the while Ricky insisting I tell him what was wrong. I refused to answer him, which frustrated him more. He did his best to stay calm, but when I finally managed to rip my hands away from him, he was pissed. Suddenly he huffed, blocking me from getting up. His brows were furrowed as he stared me down.

"What happened to you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not the Hiro who fucking ate my heart up with those big, brown eyes. You've always been kind of awkward but this is nothing like you. You look at me now and I feel like a fucking predator."

Taking a breath through my nose, I let it out raggedly. My heart was racing and Ricky was making it worse. I didn't like anything that had just came out of his mouth. I wanted out.

"As far as anyone is concerned you are a predator! You're always sleeping around. Why does it bother you now?"

"Hiro, shut up. I'm not a creep. God forbid I mess around with a few guys here and there. They all consented, I didn't go hunt them down. I'm human, I have needs. That's not a crime."

"…"

Being put in my place proved to burned far deeper than I appreciated. Ricky took the upper hand.

"I'm your only friend and you know that. Why are you pushing me away like this?"

"Friends don't get all touchy feely like this."

"They do when they like you! I just want you to trust me enough to get close to you. To hell with my needs, just tell me what's wrong."

I panicked when Ricky grabbed me as I tried getting away. I opened my mouth to yell and his hand came down over my mouth. It was past midnight, hollering was the last thing his parents needed. He shushed me, holding my back to his chest in an awkward position from having been grabbed mid run. His lips by my ear felt warm and I trembled, giving up.

"I'll take you home if that's what you want...but, you have to talk to me eventually, Hiro."

The hand over my mouth let go, but Ricky still held me to him. He rested his chin on my head and rubbed my arm soothingly.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"I can't tell anybody."

"That bad?"

I nodded shamefully. Ricky eased himself back to sit on the floor with me still in his arms. We were quiet. The silence was broken by Ricky asking a question. His curiosity defied his own special breed of concern that he had.

"What could be so bad?"

"You don't want to know."

"I do want to know."

Shaking me lightly, urging me to speak, Ricky promised there was nothing I could tell him that would shock him. I didn't believe that. How could I? Still, he insisted.

"Seeing as you're so set in your ways to push me off, what do you have to lose? If you're so scared to scare me away with whatever's eating you, what's the difference between just getting it over with than dragging this shit out?" Ricky challenged me. "I don't think you could say anything that would scare me off. But, if you're so sure, just get it over with."

I hate that he had some merit to what he'd just said. If I kept on the way I was doing, surely I'd scare him off eventually. It was stressful playing cat and mouse with Ricky, maybe it was better that I just get it over with. I contemplated it, looking back over him shoulder at him. He waited patiently for me to make up my mind. When looking at him, it dawned me I was possibly being stupid. Ricky was my only friend.

"You're my friend, Hiro. Just tell me."

"You won't want to be my friend, anymore."

"If that's true, what good would it be to keep me around? I'd be a lousy friend anyways."

Nodding in order to brace myself, I gathered my thoughts. It was time to finally tell someone. I was almost relieved at the opportunity. Maybe telling someone would take the guilt away, at least to some degree. Swallowing dry, I broke eye contact with Ricky. Staring at the wood paneling on the floor I decided to accept whatever came of my decision.

"I'm in love with my brother, Ricky. I've loved him for a long time."

xxxxx


	11. Chapter 11

****Note**** CHAPTER 10 IS THE NEW CHAPTER.

To those who have read this fic before, you have probably noticed that there are less chapters as well as blank chapters. Well, I went back and edited chapters, combining some and fixing up others. I did this because, unfortunately, this fic was written during the early phases of my writing and as time went on I developed a rhythm or style of writing, so to speak. This fic had the potential to be better so I cleaned it up to fit my current style of writing.

I hope no one is upset over this. No scenes were taken out and only one major change was made. (I went in and made it so that what was originally many chapters stretching out of the events of one day, is not that way anymore.) I didn't want to have to delete chapter 11 and 12's reviews and comments so I left blank documents there until I can get some new chapter updates in there. Sorry for this mild chaos! I just appreciate your feedback so much, I really didn't want to delete the chapters and see the feedback go away!

Anyways, sorry for the long note. Chapters 1-9 are the original story and chapter 10 is new. I hope you guys enjoy : ) Sorry for the long wait! Also, once I get new chapters to fill chapters 11 and 12 I will take down this note so the next readers aren't confused.


	12. Chapter 12

****Note**** CHAPTER 10 IS THE NEW CHAPTER.

To those who have read this fic before, you have probably noticed that there are less chapters as well as blank chapters. Well, I went back and edited chapters, combining some and fixing up others. I did this because, unfortunately, this fic was written during the early phases of my writing and as time went on I developed a rhythm or style of writing, so to speak. This fic had the potential to be better so I cleaned it up to fit my current style of writing.

I hope no one is upset over this. No scenes were taken out and only one major change was made. (I went in and made it so that what was originally many chapters stretching out of the events of one day, is not that way anymore.) I didn't want to have to delete chapter 11 and 12's reviews and comments so I left blank documents there until I can get some new chapter updates in there. Sorry for this mild chaos! I just appreciate your feedback so much, I really didn't want to delete the chapters and see the feedback go away!

Anyways, sorry for the long note. Chapters 1-9 are the original story and chapter 10 is new. I hope you guys enjoy : ) Sorry for the long wait! Also, once I get new chapters to fill chapters 11 and 12 I will take down this note so the next readers aren't confused.


	13. Chapter 13

****Note**** CHAPTER 10 IS THE NEW CHAPTER.

To those who have read this fic before, you have probably noticed that there are less chapters as well as blank chapters. Well, I went back and edited chapters, combining some and fixing up others. I did this because, unfortunately, this fic was written during the early phases of my writing and as time went on I developed a rhythm or style of writing, so to speak. This fic had the potential to be better so I cleaned it up to fit my current style of writing.

I hope no one is upset over this. No scenes were taken out and only one major change was made. (I went in and made it so that what was originally many chapters stretching out of the events of one day, is not that way anymore.) I didn't want to have to delete chapter 11 and 12's reviews and comments so I left blank documents there until I can get some new chapter updates in there. Sorry for this mild chaos! I just appreciate your feedback so much, I really didn't want to delete the chapters and see the feedback go away!

Anyways, sorry for the long note. Chapters 1-9 are the original story and chapter 10 is new. I hope you guys enjoy : ) Sorry for the long wait! Also, once I get new chapters to fill chapters 11 and 12 I will take down this note so the next readers aren't confused.


End file.
